The Perfect Couple
I just learned something about this show that makes me want to like it more. Jenna Lamia who plays Judy Cooper on Resident Alien developed, wrote, and executive produced The Perfect Couple. She is so talented and such a force of nature. I mean, have you seen how professionally she digs a grave? And yet, I can not bring myself to actually give a fuck about this show. I mean, if the best part about your show is the opening credits, I think you have a problem. The Perfect Couple hons in on what all trashy prestige television does, rich, pretty people getting put through the blender. Here they were just able to get bigger names and luck out by getting two actors from White Lotus. Nicole Kidman has kind of made this her niche, Big Little Lies, The Undoing, Nine Perfect Strangers, and The Perfect Couple. I think it's time for her to move on. Nancy Meyers Coastal Grandmother is over with and you need more than a pretty house to make a show. But damn, that house is pretty. The people though? They might be pretty on the outside, but are horrible on the inside. Though speaking of the outside, there's some serious WTF going on with plastic surgery. Isabelle Adjani is unrecognizable and as my brother perfectly phrased it, Nicole Kidman looks like she's had a Photoshop filter applied. Whereas Liev Schreiber just wandered onto set and they put hipster glasses on him and called it a day. Damn the double standards of Hollywood! The main problem here aside from the fact they don't believe in fair play and there are so many things that are dropped or unexplained is Amelia Sacks. Our protagonist played by Eve Hewson is about to marry into this privileged world and is to be the viewer's surrogate, and yet I have no idea why she's marrying Benji. She obviously doesn't love him. Yes, there's the, before her mother dies she gets to see her daughter married angle, but I felt like there was something deeper. Like she needed Benji's money or connections to help her mother out. Amelia obviously cares more for her murdered maid of honor than she does for her future spouse, and yet the whole cancelling of the wedding is just like a plot point that's not quite hit. It's an afterthought. And then throughout the show she becomes more and more irrelevant until the end when she and Benji just shrug and walk away from each other. Um, what now!?! All this production, all this fanfare, that ends on a whimper not a bang... I think that is a perfect metaphor for the whole show. It started strong, it started joyous, I mean, look to those opening credits, and then, by the end you literally didn't care. This was six episodes and it felt overly long. It lacked focus and didn't play fair. But then again, it was about foul play and at least it felt like Dakota Fanning was having fun.
Interview with the Vampire gave me false hope that Mayfair Witches would be equally good, despite different creators, writers, and cast, though oddly sometimes repurposed sets. I should have known better. This is the new Anne Rice "immortal universe" that AMC is fully embracing and we're getting the full range of her writing, and not all of that was good. There is literally a third show in development as I write this, possibly more by the time this publishes. The thing is within this "immortal universe" this is the trailer trash end. This is AMC by way of V.C. Andrews. I mean Harry Hamlin was actually in a V.C. Andrews adaptation only six months previously to Mayfair Witches airing. The problem is they don't realize they're V.C. Andrews, they think they are better than that. Lifetime's V.C. Andrews adaptations are a joy to watch because they know exactly what they are, unlike this show. Mayfair Witches' opening credits alone hit you over the head with a mallet with there "subtle" White Lotus Southern Gothic vibe. Just because your star was on the first season of White Lotus that does not give you permission to ape the style. Especially because it's not carried through the rest of the show. It's an aberrant opening credit sequence to trick the viewer. It's just infuriating. I would gnash my teeth just watching them. And given I don't live in a bubble and I talk to other people I am still shocked this got a second season. The number one problem noted time and again in my discussions with fellow viewers is the pacing. This show is glacial. It took them eight episodes to do what could have been done in a single TV movie. And still they omit things. Mayfair Witches is eight episodes of WTF and why am I watching this. And no matter how obsessed the internet is with Alexandra Daddario I will never get it. I have seen no evidence that she can actually act and her character is totally unlikable, which is actually a problem for all the characters in this series minus the marvelous Jen Richards as Jojo. I'd watch a show about Jojo. So if that's the forth "immortal universe" show then I'm down with that. I mean, how did they ruin Jack Huston!?! Gaw! But the WORST problem of all is that I think they think the viewers are stupid. How have I come to this conclusion? The subtitles. In the flashbacks to Scotland, which yes, I confirmed it's Scotland, the accents due tend to wander and slip and if you occasionally thought they were Irish I forgive you. So instead of fixing this problem by redubbing with actors who could do the accents much like the Andy MacDowell Greystoke controversy, they had the brilliant idea of subtitles. Now I was watching this show at the same time as Karen Pirie, which has true Scots accents, and this subtitling infuriated me. I really couldn't decide if they thought their viewers couldn't comprehend or they knew their actors were horrible. And maybe that's the problem at the bottom of this all, do they realize what a bad job they are doing or are they aware and trying to right a sinking ship? Either way I won't be turning into season two. Unless they are evil geniuses and figure out someway to tie this into the divine Interview with the Vampire... But even then there are enough websites that write summaries of shows that I don't think I'll be forced to endure anymore of whatever this is.
