Murder Before Evensong
Murder Before Evensong holds the dubious title of most boring murder mystery I have ever watched. The thin plot might have been able to stretch to two episodes but instead is dragged out to six. The most grueling six hours of my life. Not really. But yes really when it comes to time spent watching murder mysteries that is not hyperbole. I had such hope for this series, Neville Longbottom all grown up and fighting crime while saving souls, how could they get it this wrong!?! Oh, boy. First you have the era. This is set in the eighties and it took me way too long to figure that out because they didn't really go for any of the trappings of the era which is beyond me. Then you have the setting. Most, if not all, of the locations have been used on Father Brown so while you're trying to slog your way through this dreck you are constantly reminded that you could be spending your time with a genuinely delightful holy man who also happens to solve crimes. Damn I love Father Brown. Canon Daniel Clement you can fuck off. As for the casting? Why yes, they have great actors, Amanda Redman, Tamzin Outhwaite, Adam James, and Ben Batt to name a few. And for fans of New Tricks the Amanda Redman/Tamzin Outwaite connection should be delightful. The problem is every single character is mean and nasty. They just ooze anger and hate. Even anyone that seems like they might be nice is thrown out the window when the killers are revealed. So, let's talk about the killers. Because this makes no sense. Two sisters who were in the WAFS at the end of World War II were attacked by a downed enemy combatant and killed him. Instead of going to their superiors they hid his corpse and just hoped no one would notice one missing German. Now keep in mind they killed a spy in self defense during the war. When one of their neighbors gets too close to uncovering their secret FORTY YEARS LATER they kill him. And then they kill again. And again. They go about gleefully killing their friends and neighbors for a crime that was actually not a crime. They are sadistic killers with bloodlust! There is no other explanation. The doting grandmother and her dying sister are psycho killers. Was this show supposed to be cozy? Because it sure as hell wasn't. Everyone was hateful and the killers were unrepentant. Too bad the sisters didn't do in the whole town because then at least I'd be satisfied knowing that no one could be subjected to this show ever again. The bland and the banal can kill just as easily as any blade, and if that's the lesson that Canon Daniel Clement wanted to impart, consider it learned.
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