strange and random happenstance

A good book cover can make or break a book. And I know, we should all abide by the wise words to never judge a book by it's cover. But the truth is, we all do. Me especially because I'm a graphic designer. Therefore when I first saw the cover for Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus with that female caricature with the messy bun with a pencil in it my first thought was, oh look, chick lit. And there are very few chick lit authors I like so I promptly erased the knowledge of this book from my memory. Then when it was announced it was being made into a "prestige" television show starring Brie Larson I finally cottoned on to the fact that Lessons in Chemistry might not be chick lit. In fact it's "closer" to historical fiction. Which given that cover makes no sense to me, but, we live and learn. And hopefully whoever designed that covered learned a new skillset. So I really felt like I missed out. Historical fiction is my jam! Thankfully Apple and Brie, which sounds like a delicious snack, are here to right my inferred wrong. Which might have been more accurate than I realized because while this book isn't chick lit, it's a close cousin. Think The Notebook. It's here to emotionally manipulate you and send you on a rollercoaster ride plumbing the depths of your soul. You think I jest? The third episode narrated by the dog after the death of his human Calvin will destroy you. And yet that's not what I'm angriest about. What I'm angriest about is that there's a totally unrealistic wish fulfillment aspect that makes the series less than in my view. It crosses that line and becomes more fantasy than reality. The story as presented doesn't seem plausible. Elizabeth Zott somehow becomes a famous television cook despite being an unwed mother. OK, I can suspend my disbelief a little there because maybe they just assumed she was a widow and her failure in academia did mirror reality. But then she becomes so popular she's able to call the shots, get sponsors, gets her boss fired, quit and somehow choose the next host of the show while she goes back into academia? If it wasn't for Brie Larson's fantastic acting supported by a magnificent cast I wouldn't have bought any of this. And that's before they brought God into it. Here's the thing, science can be proven, God can't. Elizabeth Zott agrees. But that doesn't stop the show from trying to shoehorn in the "miracles" that have happened along the way, the coincidences that brought Elizabeth to Calvin and Calvin to Reverend Wakely and how this person and that person and all the people have found each other because of, perhaps, some higher power. Just no. All the no. I can believe in serendipity, I can even believe in fate, especially in fiction, but don't try to foist God on me. And as for that fairy tale ending? I don't buy it. I know it's not perfect, the "prince" is dead, but there is still joy in the kingdom and much rejoicing. For this time period that means a potluck. But here's the thing. You can't sugarcoat the past because then the struggle, the fight for female equality wasn't as much of a struggle. Just because one fictional person made a difference doesn't mean that we're done. The fight isn't over, the fight continues. Now, more than ever, we must continue to fight. Yes, be like Elizabeth Zott, take on the system, but don't be so naive to ever think you're done. You pass on your fight and your victories and your defeats to the next generation. And yes, you can have that potluck, but view it as a strategy session, not a happily ever after.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: And the Emmy Goes To, Apple, Bonnie Garmus, Calvin Evans, Chick Lit, Cooking, Elizabeth Zott, Emotionally Manipulative, God, Historical Fiction, Lessons in Chemistry, Reverend Wakely, The Notebook, Women's Rights

The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber
Published by: Hogarth
Publication Date: October 6th, 2014
Format: Kindle, 594 Pages
Rating: ★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Peter Leigh was an addict. But he found Bea and then he found God. Coincidentally on the same night. He has a small flock he ministers to but soon an opportunity arises that he can't refuse. USIC, an American corporation, wishes for him to be a missionary to the native population at one of their sites. The site just happens to be the planet Oasis. This is an opportunity to bring the word of God to a new species. An opportunity Peter can't pass up despite how hard his separation from Bea will be. His month long journey to Oasis leaves him disoriented. He wanders away from base camp into the wilderness, risking his very life. Thankfully the base's pharmacist Grainger finds him in time. Once he is healed he finally gets to meet the Oasans. He wasn't sure what to expect, but the ugly creatures before him speak English and are already devoted lovers of Jesus. While he has already made the leap to leave Earth and his wife, at least they could communicate while he stayed at the USIC base. But Peter thinks that to truly be the missionary he is supposed to be he must commit himself further to the Oasans. He decides to move to their settlement, C-2, and help them to build a church. A place in which their love for Jesus can be properly shown. Where he can be one with them and learn why they so responded to The Book of Strange New Things, which is their name for the Bible, and what he can do to help their faith grow. This is his life now. Nothing and no one will take it away from him. Not even Bea will stand in his way. And things aren't going well for Bea. USIC has plans for Oasis to embody its name because Earth is dying. Bea is alone and pregnant and natural disaster after natural disaster keeps compounding the problems. She is scared and her husband has abandoned her to be the mouthpiece of God when his own people, his own family, are dying. When he learns the truth behind the Oasans fate after a bad accident he realizes he has a choice to make; to return to a dying planet or to continue preaching to those who believe in miracles.

Do you want to read a book about a self-centered asshole who literally thinks that everything can be fixed just by his presence? Well then I have the book for you! Peter Leigh is the worst kind of man. Or, if I were as cynical as one member of my book club, just a man. He leaves behind his wife on a dying planet to be a missionary. Yes, you might say he is called, you might even say that being a missionary is a noble calling, but for me, someone who is called wouldn't be such a douchebag. Though there are those who think Trump is the messiah... So maybe we're supposed to identify with this horribly flawed individual? See that we might not be able to fix ourselves but can serve the greater good? Learn that his addiction was able to be overcome and he found a new path. But I just can't. He always puts himself first. Obviously replaced drugs with God. Risks others by doing stupid things. And he objectifies everyone. Women who are bitchy are obviously premenstrual, another woman could be pretty if she'd just watch what she ate and stopped aging, because otherwise he will call her porky. Seriously, porky!?! Just die! And of all the times he could have died and didn't? Well, that just broke my heart. Because he deserves death. He deserves it so much. The way he distances himself from his wife, he claims it's because of the new world he's experiencing, that what he left behind is no longer relevant, well you left behind a pregnant wife, I think that's pretty relevant. And then, when he finally learns that Oasans believe in God because they fervently need resurrection to be a reality due to the fact anything, even a small bump, could lead to death, he leaves them. He leaves them claiming it's because he misled them, but truly, it's because he's an asshole. And maybe, just maybe, it's dawning on him that his very presence isn't the answer to all problems. But let's take the cynical approach and think that he still believes that he is the answer. Technically the Oasans belief is stronger than ever when he leaves and returns to Earth to be with his wife despite the fact that Earth is about to die. The end of the world is imminent. So why would he return to certain death? Because he is so egocentric that he thinks his return to Earth will reverse climate change. That he will restore his wife's belief in God and that all will be well. He is deluded. He is an asshole. He needed to die. Is it wrong that I hope the Earth really is doomed just so he dies?

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Abandon, Addict, Aliens, Bible, Church, Climate Change, For the Love of Book Clubs, God, Jesus Lover, Michel Faber, Missionary, Oasans, OASIS, Objectification, Peter Leigh, Pregnancy, The Book of Strange New Things

The Great Mogul Diamond by G.P. Taylor
Published by: Tyndale Momentum
Publication Date: May 1st, 2011
Format: Hardcover, 293 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy

Muzz Elliott is being blackmailed. She has been told she must be in Cannes at a specific time and at a specific place. Sadie, Saskia, and Erik know all of this because, well, they can't let someone's privacy stand in their way. Conversations can be overheard and letters can be read and secrets can be revealed. So when Muzz Elliott tells the twins that they are all immediately leaving on a vacation to the south of France, the girls know that the vacation is just a cover. They are going to confront the blackmailer. The girls think that they might need the help of Erik and Dorcas Potts, so they contact Erik from the train station and tell them to follow in the Bugatti. Aboard the train odd things start to happen. Saskia is reading one of Muzz Elliott's books, Murder Train, and she notices that events that happened in the book are happening to them. Right now! Someone is using Muzz Elliott's own writing against her! Therefore they should be able to head the villains off at the pass, but the evil doers are too quick off the mark and Muzz Elliott is blaming herself for putting the girls in danger. Meanwhile Erik and Dorcas are encountering problems of their own. They are being followed through the Alps. Dorcas is convinced it's the mafia, who would use such tactics, and she's not unknown to them. But it is clear that whomever they are their goal is to keep Erik and Dorcas from reaching Muzz and her compatriots in Cannes. Things get even more out of control when Sadie is kidnapped and the blackmailer reveals their intentions. Muzz Elliott must recreate the plot of her book Another Day, Another Diamond, and steal the Great Mogul Diamond that is about to be auctioned off in Cannes. If she doesn't Sadie dies. Given the extent of their planning and the elaborate scheme to lure Muzz Elliott to Cannes, she has no doubt that they mean what they say. Only she isn't one to go down without a fight. Perhaps she and her gang can turn the tables on their enemies. Even if it should turn out their enemies were once their friends.

So despite all the supposed praise this "illustra-novella" series had larded on it The Great Mogul Diamond was the end of the line. Whether through lack of a cohesive style in the illustrations or lack of interest in readers to be converted to God this series ended on what I feel is the most disjointed of the chronicles. Because I loved half the story and hated the other half. Let me break it down. So we're finally done with the orphanage and all the ancillary characters. We're focusing on Sadie and Saskia living with Muzz Elliott and Erik living with Lord Gervaz and working with Gervaz's niece Dorcas Potts. We are stripping off the excess and moving on, even if due to lack of artistic ability I totally thought two of the bad guys were Potemkin and his henchman, this turned out to be an erroneous conclusion. So a smaller cast of characters involved in a story that is literally Agatha Christie meets Alfred Hitchcock. I loved this. I loved them being on a train that Muzz Elliott happened to set one of her novels on and then the events from the book started to come true as they headed towards the French Riviera, were the events of another one of her plots was being set in motion. I adored this gaslighting of an author with her own canon. It was perfection. So right now you're like, but wouldn't that make you love this book? Yes, I loved that part of the book, the problem is that wasn't all the book was. We have gone off the deep end with religiosity in this volume. I'm all for religious freedom as long as you're not trying to convert me. G.P. Taylor seemed to be doing a really hard sell with Erik and The Man of Good-Bye Friday. I'm sorry, but Jesus showing up in a pinstripe suit and going by that LUDICROUS name as some reference to his death on Good Friday, hell no. Then signalling that one of the villains wasn't bad because he was on a first name basis with Jesus and the angels!?! Ugh. And I'm not even going to touch the whole Erik's father is dead and The Man of Good-Bye Friday brought Erik peace. This just didn't work with the story being told. It was intrusive and manipulative. In other words, I'm very glad the series ended because The Man of Good-Bye Friday and Madame Raphael had overstayed their welcome.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Agatha Christie, Cannes, G.P. Taylor, Gaslighting, God, Going Gothic, Graphic Novel, Hitchcock, Jewel Heist, Mafia, Religion, The Dopple Ganger Chronicles, The Great Mogul Diamond, The Man of Good-Bye Friday

The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
Published by: Alfred A. Knopf
Publication Date: October 10th, 2000
Format: Hardcover, 518 Pages
Rating: ★★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

The final war with the Authority has come. The sides have been drawn. Ignorance and control or knowledge and freedom. That which was known as God was really just taking credit for creating that which was in existence long before him. Now his second in command is power hungry and wants absolute control over all worlds. A modern inquisition, which Lord Asriel will fight until his dying breath. Yet it's the breath of his daughter that is needed. She needs to live. She needs to fulfill the prophecy that she will put an end to death and become the new Eve. This might prove rather tricky as the Magisterium has sent a priest to kill her and her own mother is currently holding her captive in a drug-induced sleep in a Himalayan cave. It is up to Will, Lyra's staunch friend, to pull himself together after seeing the father he spent his life searching for killed in front of him by a witch and then have a pair of angels appear to direct the bearer of the subtle knife to Lord Asriel. But Will is up to the challenge and along the way to Lyra meets one of her old allies, the armoured bear, Iorek Byrnison, who has fled the arctic as the opening between worlds Lord Asriel has created has destroyed his icy fortress of Svalbard. They find Lyra in the nick of time, taking her out from under the hands of the Magisterium and Lord Asriel. While Lyra was drugged she dreamt of her friend Roger in the land of the dead and upon waking knows what she and Will must do. If his knife can open a window into any world, surly that includes the land of the dead. They will journey there with two new companions, the Gallivespian, the Chevalier Tialys and the Lady Salmakia who ride upon dragonfly steeds, and speak to Roger. Will might even get a chance to talk to his father. After that? Well, who knows how their journey will effect the war... but effect it it will, especially once they are reunited with their friend Mary.

Well, the "end" is here. I say "end" in quotes because as we know now it's not really the end but back in 2000 it was that. The big battle, the Authority toppled, the end and the beginning all in one. Pullman could have concentrated on the war, made an unsubstantial confection of explosions worthy of the big screen sometime in the summer months with angels fighting angels but instead he decided to focus on his characters. Lyra and Will take center stage, as well as new favorites, and instead of a grinding depiction of war we're given something bigger. A journey of self discovery and redemption and hope while the war just happens to be going on off to the side. Am I the only one to say "thank god" only to realize that Lord Asriel would totally disapprove that I, as a thinking person, am giving thanks to an organization that thrives on ignorance and he made a holy war to topple? While The Golden Compass is Lyra's story and The Subtle Knife is Will's story, The Amber Spyglass is about their journey towards not just growing up, but the knowledge of what it is to love. They are the Adam and Eve of this story and as such they must taste the fruit of knowledge offered up by Mary and basically reboot the world. The problem in this though is the vagueness that Pullman uses when describing their love. I can't tell if it's because he's trying to write around it because this was intended for a younger audience, but is their love more than love? Are they sneaking off into the savanna for some hanky panky? He's embracing the ellipses, more than once I might add, and after this long of a journey with these characters I NEED to know if just the knowledge of love was enough to bring about the second fall or if Lyra and Will actually had sex.

As for those we know had sex... let's look to Lyra's parents, Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter, I'm sorry, she's too scary to ever to refer to her casually by her first name. SO much of this series is dealing with parental issues. A lot of that is to do with the fact that as we grow up we have our parents to look to as to what we will become and this either is something we embrace or something we buck. But there's no getting around the fact that Lyra's parents are horrible parents and this is the crux of the series. Lyra is drawn into their world and their war. She is at times a pawn but usually THE major player in all of it. But her parents aren't static, they change over time until they make the ultimate sacrifice for Lyra and one is believable and the other isn't plausible in the least. Lord Asriel's journey and his faith in Lyra make sense. He saw her grow up, pretending to be her uncle, and he is willing to die to protect Lyra because he knows that his daughter will end the war he has wagged. His sacrifice at the end makes sense. He dies taking down the angel in power while also giving Lyra time to escape and fulfill her destiny. But Mrs. Coulter. I just don't get her. When she shows up in Oxford and swoops Lyra away to be a part of her world it's almost like Lyra is a doll she's picked up to dress and play with. Yes, she does save her from intercision at Bolvanger, and she saves her again from the church to hide her away in a dank cave in the Himalayas, but why? She claims it's because her grinchian heart has grown three sizes because of her daughter, but I don't buy it. They say every mother has this overriding instinct to protect their child and lavish it with love, but that's not true. Just look at the world around us, just look at this story. I don't buy that Mrs. Coulter would sacrifice herself for Lyra. For her own purposes, yes, but for her daughter? No way.

Yet I don't have as many issues with Mrs. Coulter as I have with the Mulefa. Those loving elephant faced, diamond skeletoned people whom Mary spends all her narrative with freak me out. But to be fair, it's not in their nature, it's in their wheels. Father Gomez the killer priest was so right when he said that their use of wheels was evil, and yes, I know I'm agreeing with an evil assassin, but seriously, wheels! Yes, I know, technically it's ingenious evolution, but the truth is me and wheeled creatures have a dark history, one which makes me hate them all. Are there things that you saw as a child that just ingrained themselves so deeply in you that they make up a substantial part of your nightmares and neuroses? Not the standard teeth falling out nightmare that so many of us suffer, but a hate of zombies from seeing a certain movie too young. Or a fear of elevators because of what the hell was in outer space when Charlie and Willy Wonka stepped out of the glass elevator (and yes, I cop to this one). Well, when I was very young I stumbled on the comic adaptation of Return to Oz. If you haven't seen Return to Oz, well, firstly you should, but secondly, it's a really dark re-imagining of Oz and the second and third books in the series by L. Frank Baum. There's shock treatment and a lady with removable heads. So while the shock treatment just gave me interesting knowledge, and the lady with removable heads made me slightly freaked, there was one part of the movie that terrified me: The Wheelers. Forget flying monkeys, these minions of the witch Mombi are "people" with wheels for hands and hatred in their hearts and they will hunt you down. Therefore I can not condone these Mulefa, they are in essence that world's Wheelers! BEWARE THE WHEELERS!

OK, no more Wheeler talk, it's near Halloween, this movie is bound to be airing and the nightmares will return. Let's discuss a pet peeve of mine; quotes at the start of chapters, or even at the start of a book. I know for a lot of authors that they have a special meaning, that perhaps this certain line that they have included inspired them or sheds meaning on their writing or captures the essence of whatever is to come like some cryptic clue, but can I just ask all you writers out there to stop. If it's a clue or whatever it's annoying because after reading the chapter you have to go back and re-read it and see if you got it and if you didn't you just end up feeling really stupid. But most of the time, it just comes off as pretentious: "Yes, I have a Shakespeare quote because I've read all Shakespeare and know more than you, ha ha." "What, this obscure poet, you've never heard of them? How can you even live with yourself?" "Don't you just feel that this line wouldn't get it's meaning fully across without the weird spelling of the words and all that is implied by it's antiquity." So IF you're one of these authors, just know, THIS is what's going through my head and makes me hate you just a little bit. Or, if I'm honest, quite a lot occasionally. Here though, besides making me hate Pullman a little, because yes, I can see these quotes at the beginning of each chapter do reflect the world he's created and inspired him so I can't completely hate them though I reserve the full right to hate the tiny ass font they were set in, I can hate them for a logical reason... These quotes are all from authors from our world. Yeah, I agree, quotes from another world would be weird, but then again it might work. Why might it work? Because it wouldn't be grounding The Amber Spyglass so completely in Will's world. Like 10 pages in the whole book take place in that world yet each and every quote comes from there? Bad move Pullman. Bad move. You are tearing down the worlds you built and I don't even know if you realize it.

Though for all my nitpicking what I think Pullman got SO right is the new definition of the Kingdom of Heaven. Lyra and Will are told that each world has to build their own Heaven, which means that it's about cherishing and caring for the world and it's people because you're building the Kingdom with each act, with each thing you put back into the world. Which makes Will and Lyra's final separation into their own worlds make sense. Yes, it may pain them, but they are each such extraordinary people that think of what they can accomplish and build in each of their worlds? Their journey and their sacrifice create a new start, a new chance to fix the problems they see all around that have been caused by three hundred years of damage from the subtle knife and millennia of damage from the Authority. It's not just the humanitarian nature of this that so resonates with me, it's that when I think of heaven I don't think of some weird ethereal place I think of the world around me. Hence, if there is a heaven it would be here on earth. The best thing we could be given is a chance to live again, which is why reincarnation makes sense to me. Though within this I still have to question where Mary stands. She's an ex-nun who doesn't believe in God anymore and hence has turned to physics. Yet while the events around her show that "God" was really just taking credit for something he didn't do and that now his second in command is going power crazy, I think some part of Mary should have gone, "Oh wow, there really was a God and angels and etc etc." Yet she's still firmly entrenched in her new beliefs and despite there being correlations she just doesn't see that both things can be true. But then again she was friends with people who had wheels!!!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: A Different Kind of P and P, God, Heaven, His Dark Materials, L. Frank Baum, Lyra Belacqua, Parents, Philip Pullman, Quotes, Return to Oz, Sex, The Amber Spyglass, The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, War, Wheelers