Season 39 - Tess of the D'Urbervilles (2009)
When this adaptation of Tess of the D'Urbervilles first came out I tried to watch it. I thought I had only made it through one of the four episodes but apparently I somehow actually made it through two of them. Now you might be thinking, oh, she had a problem watching this because Thomas Hardy is quite bleak and this is about rape, abuse, and eventual death, but you'd be wrong. It's not that I was OK with how horrible this story is, it's that I could barely get into the story due to the piercing headache I got at the hands of the score. Rob Lane's score is horrible, shrill, and just bores into my right eye socket and makes me almost pass out in pain. Every. Single. Time. The strings and the strings and the strings. Just make it stop! If his goal was to make me feel in pain to understand Tess's pain, well, good job. Now hopefully I'll be able to see out of my right eye again in the near future. People talk about the power of music, damn, this music packed a punch. And not in a good way. Just thinking about it makes my face hurt. What annoyed me even more about the score is once I was able to sit with the pain of the cluster headache behind my right eye I realized that the recurring theme of the score was triggering me to hum another song. You know how Tom Petty sued Sam Smith for similarities in Smith's song "Stay With Me" to Petty's song "I Won't Back Down?" Well, if you didn't, you now know. Petty won and is now listed as a co-writer. This came as no shock to me because every time I heard "Stay With Me" I'd get "I Won't Back Down" in my head. The same thing happened once I pushed through the pain here. I started getting the theme to Gosford Park by Patrick Doyle in my head. Which made me extra angry. Because not only is this music horribly painful to listen to, it's not even original. I really just can't with this miniseries. I was promised Anna Massey and instead I have baby voiced Gemma Arterton and a whole bunch of actors I have previously loved either being evil or miserable. Poor Jodie Whittaker, what this miniseries does to her makes the backlash of her becoming the Thirteenth Doctor look like child's play. And what do you get if you actually make it all the way through the miniseries!?! Fuck all. The love of Tess's life, Angel Clare, there has to be a special hell just for him. Let me recount for you what happened at the beginning of the third episode for your enlightenment. Oh, and to set the scene, it's their wedding night! Angel, in the depths of agony: I hired a whore once. Tess: I forgive you. BTW I was raped. Angel: You're a whore! Here's £25. I'll see you when I see you, I'm off to Brazil. Me: Hopefully to die from some horrible tropical disease. Fuck you Angel Clare. Fuck you and your hypocrisy. You could have all been happy, instead you chose misery. In fact, I wish for you to have to listen to the score to this miniseries for an eternity. That might just make up for what you did to Tess. Maybe.
Certain movies become favorites. Watched over and over again. And back in the days of VHS watched so many times the tape become unplayable. But there are a rare few that you know will enter your personal pantheon from your first viewing. In fact they're so good that as soon as you finished watching it that first time you went back to the beginning and watched it all over again. The first movie I remember doing this for was Clue. My best friend brought it over on VHS thinking I'd love it. She was right. I asked her if I could borrow it and the second she left I rewound it to the beginning and watched it a second time. I almost contemplated a third viewing but I waited until the next day to do that. Swingers is another movie that I did this with. My friends and I rented it from Blockbuster Video and we went over to one of their houses to watch it. Since I was the one who rented it I took it with me when we left claiming I would return it right away but instead I promptly went home and watched it again. I watched it again for Vince Vaughn. Sure you could argue that Jon Favreau is really the star of that movie. I will violently disagree. This began my love of all things Vince Vaughn. His laid back laconic snark is an artform in itself. He's had some big hits here and there and quite a few misses, like I totally blocked out that he was in the Jurassic Park sequel... And yes, he will forever be beloved for Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, and his stepping in to play Freddy Funkhouser on Curb Your Enthusiasm after the death of Bob Einstein which gave him good television exposure. But for me around 2005 when Wedding Crashers came out I was kind of tired of the same old same old from him. And then Bad Monkey came around. At first I wasn't sure I was going to watch it. My mother was a huge Carl Hiaasen fan and anyone who has spent any time around books knows how memorable the cover for Bad Monkey is with that piratical primate... So she would have been onboard. And then it was announced Slow Horses was coming back earlier than expected and I decided to get Apple+ a little early and see what this show was all about. Well this show is about Vince Vaughn's comeback. And while he didn't actually go away, this is a roll that will forever define him. It plays to his skillset to such a level it's a masterclass in acting just watching him. He is perfection as Andrew Yancy. I mean, people might say that it was a given it would be so good because Bill Lawrence is behind it and he's brought us Ted Lasso, Shrinking, Scrubs, and Spin City to name just a few classics. But this is a vehicle for Vaughn. His snark is still there, he's still laid back, but he's talking a mile a minute, filling the air with his words and his humorous delivery all while being backed up by a stellar cast. And while people will bemoan that a second season couldn't possibly be as good because almost all the cast is dead... Well, I'm willing to trust Bill Lawrence and his three season plan. Because, trust me, if there's any justice in the world Vince Vaughn will be getting an Emmy off this show. It's a delicious and delightful mystery inside a mystery while you take in all that Florida has to offer, and that happens to be a lot of Tom Petty covers. But at the very end they use Tom Petty's own version "Leaning to Fly" and it's like coming home. And Vince Vaughn as Andrew Yancy is welcome in mine anytime. I even will admit to enjoying his slightly annoying ringtone on his phone...
