Book Review - Alice Hoffman's The Witches of Cambridge
The Witches of Cambridge by Alice Hoffman
Published by: Scribner
Publication Date: September 8th, 2026
Format: Hardcover, 416 Pages
Rating: ★★
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Ava has grown up cloistered and unaware of who she is. Her first night away from home all of her mother's warnings come back to her: "Lock the door, call out if there is a stranger, stay away from girls who go out at midnight, beware those who wish to take you to the world underground, where there are no rules and no way to return to all that you've known." But what she learns that first night at Radcliffe is that everything she's ever known is a lie and the girl standing above her bed asking her to leap out a window at midnight is her other half. Ava and Lauren are opposites in every way, light and dark, the flower and the hazel branch. Even fire and ice to match their coloration. Ava didn't even know witches existed. She knew she was different, growing up in Maine in the 1940s she wasn't allowed to socialize with other children and occasionally had to be tethered in the family orchard so she wouldn't take to the skies, but a witch!?! That's the stuff of fairy tales. Until she meets Lauren. Lauren is from a tony Cambridge family of witches that trace their ancestry back to the 1600s. In other words, Lauren knows that witches exist because she's one of them. And she knows that Ava is a witch because why else would she be assigned as her roommate for the one night they have to stay in the dorms. Because witches don't live in dorms, they live in a special house run by the Lilith Society that began not long after the first witch of Cambridge came to settle in the marshlands in 1693. So while technically they are Radcliffe students, they are something else as well, not by choice, or by reason, but by legacy. And after they find their invitations and sneak out the window an act of salvation binds them together forever. An act that will save them time and time again as they battle with their own legacies. Because Ava doesn't know why or how she's in Cambridge but she starts to find letters hidden in books written by the First Witch. She starts to realize their is way more to her past than her mother has ever told her. And then she falls in love with the wrong person, Jamie Mather. He comes from a long line of dangerous men. Lauren's grandmother has always said that the Mathers did something that could never be forgiven. And here's Ava giving him her heart. Which is why Lauren has hardened hers. Ever since the death of her parents she has gravitated towards the dark. The Crooked Path calls to her. Which brings danger to Lilith House. McCarthyism is gripping the nation and when one of their number disappears before the graduation ceremony at the end of their first year they know they are being targeted. Can two friends overcome their differences to right the wrongs around them or will they selfishly care only for themselves?
I had an internal struggle as to whether I'd pick up this book right now because after reading all of her Practical Magic series I was kind of burned out on Alice Hoffman. There's only so far you can get on vibes alone. Sure, there's a comfort factor, but sometimes that just isn't enough. But then two things lured me in, McCarthyism and dark academia. Two things that actually have next to nothing to do with this book and seem to be just a veneer of time and place. As Tim Curry memorably says in Clue; "Communism was just a red herring." The "specter" of McCarthyism affects none of our characters in any way and seems to be more a "teachable moment" like the lack of contraception. Over and over again we hear about witch hunts and the danger from hunters but Lauren's brother is in far more danger from the Lavender Scare than she and Ava ever were from hunters. As for the aura of fear hanging over Lilith House? That was because Lauren was going down the left-handed path and her professor/lover killing her housemates. The fact that the police weren't able to figure out what happened to their fellow housemates still baffles me. All three women were connected to him and yet the police just couldn't figure it out. Probably because they were too busy trying to get laid by Lauren's brother. Yet this all pales in comparison to the real problem of this book, she is now outright plagiarizing herself. There is a similarity to all of Alice Hoffman's books which is comforting. But which, as I mentioned before, is sometimes not enough. Here though the similarities attained a new level. She is lifting her own material to make a new book. Cutting and pasting the legacy of the Owens family to begin a new witchy series. I wouldn't make this accusation without proof, so let me lay it on you. The Witches of Cambridge is two entwined stories. The first is ostensibly about a trio of witches, two "sisters" and their gay brother. The second is about the First Witch of Cambridge. The problem is, I've read these two stories before. The first is The Rules of Magic about Franny, Jet, and Vincent Owens and their growing up starting in the late fifties. In fact Franny was supposed to attend Radcliffe so this reads almost as an alternative timeline. The second is Magic Lessons, a long slog of a read about Maria Owens and her life, but more importantly the curse she laid on her family. I hated reading Magic Lessons so much that reading a simulacrum of her story with the First Witch of Cambridge gave me PTSD. There are just constant reminders that this is just a Frankensteinian creation; insane asylums, secrets, homosexual persecution, unexpected pregnancies, banished loves, exile, wolf dogs, failing the Bechdel test, I could just keep listing them, but unless you've read all these books I don't think you'll believe me. I mean, what are the chances there are two different characters in two different books that were from the same area of Cornwall!?! Or that apparently every man involved in the Salem Witch Trials was in love with a witch? Or at least his descendant was. The déjà vu was just too strong for me with this book. Perhaps it will bring you comfort, for me it brought hives.





































































When this adaptation of Tess of the D'Urbervilles first came out I tried to watch it. I thought I had only made it through one of the four episodes but apparently I somehow actually made it through two of them. Now you might be thinking, oh, she had a problem watching this because Thomas Hardy is quite bleak and this is about rape, abuse, and eventual death, but you'd be wrong. It's not that I was OK with how horrible this story is, it's that I could barely get into the story due to the piercing headache I got at the hands of the score. Rob Lane's score is horrible, shrill, and just bores into my right eye socket and makes me almost pass out in pain. Every. Single. Time. The strings and the strings and the strings. Just make it stop! If his goal was to make me feel in pain to understand Tess's pain, well, good job. Now hopefully I'll be able to see out of my right eye again in the near future. People talk about the power of music, damn, this music packed a punch. And not in a good way. Just thinking about it makes my face hurt. What annoyed me even more about the score is once I was able to sit with the pain of the cluster headache behind my right eye I realized that the recurring theme of the score was triggering me to hum another song. You know how Tom Petty sued Sam Smith for similarities in Smith's song "Stay With Me" to Petty's song "I Won't Back Down?" Well, if you didn't, you now know. Petty won and is now listed as a co-writer. This came as no shock to me because every time I heard "Stay With Me" I'd get "I Won't Back Down" in my head. The same thing happened once I pushed through the pain here. I started getting the theme to Gosford Park by Patrick Doyle in my head. Which made me extra angry. Because not only is this music horribly painful to listen to, it's not even original. I really just can't with this miniseries. I was promised Anna Massey and instead I have baby voiced Gemma Arterton and a whole bunch of actors I have previously loved either being evil or miserable. Poor Jodie Whittaker, what this miniseries does to her makes the backlash of her becoming the Thirteenth Doctor look like child's play. And what do you get if you actually make it all the way through the miniseries!?! Fuck all. The love of Tess's life, Angel Clare, there has to be a special hell just for him. Let me recount for you what happened at the beginning of the third episode for your enlightenment. Oh, and to set the scene, it's their wedding night! Angel, in the depths of agony: I hired a whore once. Tess: I forgive you. BTW I was raped. Angel: You're a whore! Here's £25. I'll see you when I see you, I'm off to Brazil. Me: Hopefully to die from some horrible tropical disease. Fuck you Angel Clare. Fuck you and your hypocrisy. You could have all been happy, instead you chose misery. In fact, I wish for you to have to listen to the score to this miniseries for an eternity. That might just make up for what you did to Tess. Maybe.
The Rebecca Notebook and Other Memories by Daphne Du Maurier
City of Lost Souls (The Mortal Instruments Book 5) by Cassandra Clare
Does assembling real work by others into a vague plotless book make you an author? I don't think so. It makes you a lazy bitch who is just churning these books out as fast as you can to rake in the cash probably only stopping to call your lawyer to see if a sentence is changed just the right infinitesimal amount so that you can't be sued. And it looks like Clare is going to keep on doing this... it's people like her that make me worry about the future of writing; lazy ass people who feel entitled to do whatever they want, damn the consequences.
City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments Book 1) by Cassandra Clare

















