Showing posts with label Johnny Depp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Johnny Depp. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Book Review 2016 #4 - Gideon Defoe's The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab by Gideon Defoe
Published by: Pantheon
Publication Date: October 4th, 2005
Format: Hardcover, 160 Pages
Rating: ★★★★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

After the main-mast falls over for the third time in a week the pirate with a scarf reluctantly and cautiously approaches the Pirate Captain about perhaps getting a new boat. After admitting to his number two that perhaps covering the holes in his quarters with dashing pictures of himself isn't the best way to keep a boat afloat, seeing as a stiff breeze could conceivably kill off half the pirate crew and the Pirate Captain himself has never bothered to learn to swim he agrees that they go to Nantucket and Cutlass Liz's boatyard. There they run into two interesting people. One is Ahab, a dour whaler who is searching the world for the great white whale who took his leg off with a big chomp, the other is the Pirate Captain's Nemesis, Black Bellamy. Black Bellamy eggs the Pirate Captain on to buying a boat, The Lovely Emma, which the crew can in no way afford. Desperate to quickly get the cash for fear of Cutlass Liz and her ways of dealing with those who don't pay the pirates go in search of treasure! When that fails they try gambling. When that fails they try putting on a Vegas show. When that fails the pirate in red suggests perhaps they try some piracy? When that fails they just might take up Ahab's quest, they keep running into him and he's now offering a reward equal to the cost of their new boat. But can the Pirate Captain and his crew really succeed where Ahab has failed? And if they do can they succeed before Cutlass Liz gets violent?

What seems like years ago now, probably because it was, I remember seeing a few of Gideon Defoe's Pirates! books at Half Price Books and thinking they looked rather fun. I promptly forgot about them because do you realize the number of books I look at on a daily basis? It's seriously staggering. But shortly thereafter Lauren Willig mentioned them in passing as being hilarious so this confluence of events led me to order the first two books, handily sold as one volume, and I put it on my bookshelf and promptly forgot about them again. Fast forward to 2012 and Aardman Animation has adapted the first book for the screen. David Tennant, Hugh Grant, Russell Tovey, no wait, not Russell Tovey in the US, grumble, grumble, but once again I thought of the books and again promptly forgot. For some reason all my encounters with Gideon Defoe's work was promptly forgotten until his third book, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists, was picked out of the hat for book club in 2016. Not being one to start in the middle of a series I picked up my copy of the first two books, promptly fell in love, ordered the next three books and plundered my way through them all.

The thing is, I've always had a soft spot for pirates. This started quite young with my parents reading Irene Haas's The Maggie B. to me. A young girl wishes for a boat to travel the world in with her little brother. I wanted a boat just like it for myself. A pirate ship in miniature with flora and fauna and the coziest rooms you could ever imagine that weathered all storms. As I grew up there were Lego pirate ships and Playmobil pirate ships that actually floated helmed by my Star Wars figures. There were hideouts down by the railway tracks and in my back yard with hammocks, just like on a real pirate ship. There were other books too like Peter Pan and The Princess Bride, and tons of movies from The Goonies to Muppet Treasure Island to Hook. Finally there was Pirates of the Caribbean, opening night at Point Cinema on the UltraScreen with my girlfriends. Some were there to see Johnny Depp, some to see Orlando Bloom, and some to see an anvil three stories tall. I was there for the pirates!

But these Pirates! by Gideon Defoe, they are a breed apart. They are the love children of Blackadder and the briny deep, with historical cameos thrown in just as much as historical accuracy is thrown out. With this lovability that makes you just want to take them home give them a big feast predominately of ham and tell them a good bedtime story before tucking them in for the night. Gideon Defoe's writing combines the wit and love of footnotes of Terry Pratchett with the absurdity of Monty Python. Yet it's so uniquely his own that while I can draw comparisons all day it will never do justice to a series of books that need to be read for their hats and their love of ham. And I'm not joking that once you start you won't be able to stop until you've read them all. From Darwin and Bobo, the "man-panzee," to Ahab and what hunting the great white whale does to the Pirate Captain's sanity, to Wagner trying to blacken the name of Communism, to beekeeping on St. Helena where Napoleon causes quite a ruckus, to Byron and the Pirate Captain forming a true bromance while the Pirate Captain tries to woo Mary Godwin away from Shelley, you will just pillage your way through Defoe's prose.

Yet what makes this series really unique is that, aside from them being kind of hopeless as pirates, is that the characters names aren't really names, instead being character descriptions. There's the Pirate Captain and his faithful number two, the pirate with a scarf, there's the pirate in green, the pirate with rickets, the albino pirate, Jennifer, and every one's least favorite pirate, the pirate in red. While this could be viewed as just a humorous joke at the readers expense, I mean, think how many times we as readers when faced with a new story with oodles of characters has picked up on a character trait to remember them all by? Instead I don't think it's about readers and the inability to remember names, instead I think it's a clever conceit. While yes, there is a bit of poking fun at stereotypes, I think it actually goes beyond this and is making the character archetypes. The Pirate Captain is THE DEFINITIVE pirate captain. He's the only one that matters, suck it Black Bellamy! Just like the pirate with a scarf is the perfect number two, and the pirate in red is the perfect red shirt for us to hate on. These are the lovable essence of all the pirates we wanted to sail the high seas with as a kid and therefore we gleefully go with them wherever that may be. Even if there might be ghosts. And we all know how scared pirates are of ghosts!

In fact I think that the film by Aardman Animation, The Pirates! Band of Misfits, is doing a disservice to the books. While these pirates are true characters by making them cartoonishly animated it has turned them into caricatures. This movie has lessened them. In the books they are larger than life fiendish friends, on the screen they are a kind of boring movie. Which is really odd when you consider that Gideon Defoe wrote the screenplay. When I think back to when I first saw the movie, it in no way made me want to rush out and read the books, which is such a shame. Think of all those people out in the world who are judging these books based on that movie? The movie has far more "presence" and it's overshadowing these lovely, sweet, and comical adventures. When reading the books I thought how much they reminded me of the TV series Galavant. There's an absurdity and a gallantry and a sense of humor that makes it similar to The Pirates! Plus done as live action, there's a basis in reality with having actors like the brilliant Timothy Omundson bring the characters to life. This humor works best with the dichotomy of the absurd versus the real. Which leads me into my next point, when is there going to be a live action movie with Timothy Omundson as the Pirate Captain?

As for why I chose to pick their adventure with Ahab as my favorite? Partly it's because I had yet to read them hanging out with the Romantics last year, but also it has to do with this balance of fantasy and reality that elevates the humor in these books. In taking The Pirates! and placing them in their natural setting you get to see how atrocious they actually are as pirates. The fact that when they desperately need money to pay for their new boat that actual piracy is their second to last resort shows where their priorities lie. They'd rather look at clouds and have feasts with ham. Again and again it's brought home how not at home they are on the sea. They know nothing about whales! As for mermaids... well, the Pirate Captain did date a rather attractive halibut for three months thinking the rather normal fish was something more... While Black Bellamy may be a successful pirate, he isn't that enjoyable a pirate to be around. He's too suave, too together. I actually like my pirates a little on the lost side. Perhaps that is the one thing that the movie got right? They are a band of misfits, and I love them so much for not conforming to any stereotype. They are archetypes and I love them!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

So Where Were You Last Night?

I was in Wonderland, probably like most book geeks out there. I tried to go in expectationless. When I saw the preview a few months back, I was not trilled, but somehow over the intervening months I had forgotten my initial bad reaction and got excited. But I have to say it was not worth the whopping $15 price tag, especially if you then tack on the $2 service charge, and they didn't have Skittles! What movie theater doesn't have Skittles? Sometimes things don't work, the stars don't align, and the apparently perfect person isn't quite what was actually needed. Despite a star studded cast, it was lackluster, it was blah, it was boring. I will say, I didn't hate it, but it just wasn't all that. Tim Burton was hoping that by adding a definable plot that you'd have more of an emotional connection to the characters. Personally, I'm all good with my connection to the characters, it's his tinkering with creating an unsuccessful Red Queen overload with dissatisfied masses that rally around Alice that doesn't quite work. By having Alice escape her world and a looming arraigned marriage to come to Underland (yes, not a typo) and be forced to become a hero by killing the Jabberwocky seemed kind of dumb. Instead of a magical world of delightful nonsense, we have a world of oppression, death, war and post apocalyptic wastelands, that are never fully explained to my satisfaction. If they had fleshed out the resistance movement, if they had made the plot even more of a plot, then perhaps... but that's just a maybe. Having everything magically hing on Alice killing the Jabberwocky seemed dumb. Why would the Red Queen loose her power if the Jabberwock died? Really, if someone knows, please tell me. I personally found the real world far weirder and more interesting, peopled with some of my favorite British actors, many of which were in The Jewel in the Crown... but then again, yet another failed adaptation of Alice in Wonderland isn't that big a shock. There is no way this will please die hard fans and I don't see it bringing in any new ones... I think Public Enemies proved Johnny Depp does not always equal box office gold. Personally I think I'm going to go pick up the book and read what no one has ever successfully imitated, translated or adapted. There's only one Alice, and she'll always be there waiting for me in the pages of my favorite book. But just to entertain those who like to feast on the carcass, here's a few of my biggest concerns with the movie:

  • What's with all these new stupid made up words? Bizarre calenders and stupid times that are to come. Underland not Wonderland? And that's not explained till the end, and really, it's stupid?
  • The Red Queen and The Queen of Hearts are NOT the same person! Don't care if you're combining them, you're pissing me off.
  • Why is Helena Bonham Carter using her funny accent from the Merlin TV movie?
  • Aren't they trying to be a bit too like Return to Oz, and didn't Return to Oz do it better and darker, cause I thought Tim Burton liked dark? Let's add some true horrors... what was the Victorian equivalent of electro shock therapy? Anyone?
  • Trade routes to China were already established. Also, does this mean that Alice is going to be a drug czar?
  • The foot soldiers... too Steam Punk/Looking Glass Wars, didn't feel original. When did Burton become a hack?
  • Dan Scott (John Hopkins) from Midsomer Murders. Hate that prick. I know, offensive word, but it really fits his character in both appearances and totally covers my feelings for him.
  • Why is Crisin Glover stretched out? Why? There doesn't seem to be a purpose.
  • Guess who did the theme song? Avril Lavigne! Aren't I the happiest person in the world at this news? NOT! Apparently she's even going to do a line of clothes after Alice, oh joy unbounded!
  • Ok, I get funny accents, but WTF Johnny? The random Scottish brogue? You trying to outdo Brad Pitt in Snatch?
  • But, without parallel! The bizarre breakdancing interlude, oh, I mean fudderwhacking (see what I'm saying about made up words). It's not so much that it's a weird dance, it's that the music is early 90s electro pop randomly placed in a film firmly set in the 1800s!!! COuld you have tried insane bagpipes? Bagpipes are good, bagpipes are more... what's the word... not an anachronism!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Pink Carnation Spotlight: Carey Mulligan (Lady Charlotte Lansdowne)

We now move onto book five in the Pink Carnation series, and to a heroine, I'm sure us book readers strongly identify with, Charlotte Lansdowne. Carey Mulligan would be welcome to portray me if my life was made into a movie, lets hope Charlotte would fell the same! Now to the protagonist of The Temptation of the Night Jasmine... seem above with her BFF, Amy Blacourt.

Name: Carey Mulligan

Dream Character Casting for the Lauren Willig Miniseries: Lady Charlotte Lansdowne

First Impression: As the romantically doomed Ada in Bleak House, made me hate Esther a little less... and yes, I know my hatred of Esther is untoward, but it's more a dislike of the actress than anything else.

Why they'd be the perfect actor for the Lauren Willig Miniseries: She's wonderful in period pieces, already being in two Austen adaptations. Plus she is able to convincingly portray naive hopeful romantics... ah, poor Ada and Richard... at least she could have a happily ever after with Robert!

Lasting Impression: This is really a tie, I'm not sure if it was Andrew Davies' new adaptation of Northanger Abbey or Doctor Who which cemented her in my memory, both were 2007. She certainly was memorable as the used Isabella Thrope... but Sally Sparrow... that's a name that's made to remember. Don't blink.

What else you've seen them in: Well, getting your first gig as Kitty Bennet in Keira Knightly's Pride and Prejudice and then following it up with Bleak "we'll just throw these awards at you shall we" House isn't shabby. But to follow that up with Marple, more Austen and then the most popular and terrifying episode of the new Doctor Who, that's a celebrity in the making, but I still wonder if she might be permantly scared from ever viewing statues the same again. She's a star on the ascent, now that she's in movies with Johnny Depp and the sequel to Wall Street, plus Oscar buzz for An Education. Really, if you haven't seen it, go now. I'm not kidding, if you read my blog you love books and Brits and this will be right up your alley!

Can't believe it's them: She was in an episode of Waking the Dead... seems a bit, two steps forward, one step back to me. But more importantly, I really couldn't believe that was her in Pride and Prejudice, look how little she looks! From Pride and Prejudice to Northanger Abbey, I really can't believe how growed up she is!

Wish they hadn't: I really don't think she's had a misstep, she's on her way to being the next Keira Knightly, only with talent and not so freakin' skinny.

Bio: I'm kind of envious... she's so going to make it big.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Back to Wonderland

Looming on the horizon we have yet another Alice in Wonderland adaptation. But this one looks to be far more...interesting would be the word, I think. It is Tim Burton after all and the trailer was just released this week in time for Comic Con. There have been so many adaptations and disambiguations over the years that it's a risky venture. Feature films have been obsessed with bringing our Alice to the silver screen. Many actresses have portrayed her over the years, from sci-fi vampire Kate Beckinsale to indie darling Tina Majorino, she is a popular role. The Mad Hatter has also been played by such luminaries as Peter Cook to Martin Short and now Captain Jack Sparrow himself, Johnny Depp. This new version will be the second Disney release, the cartoon being the most famous, but Walt Disney was veritably obsessed with Alice and spent years in pre-production with a live action version which never saw the light of day. I have hopes, I'm not going to say high. The posters are a bit scary to say the least, and while I love what Tim Burton did with Willy Wonka, I don't like the original source material, classic though it is, Matilda and The Witches are the only Roald Dahl truly close to my heart. And the fact remains, this book is close to my heart. I have read and re-read Alice countless times, and each time she is dearer to me. The literary nonsense that is Alice in Wonderland is a true classic, the likes of Peter Pan and The Wizard of Oz.

But will this movie succeed or fall flat on it's face? As Tim Burton himself has said, the combination of live action and surrealistic animation defies categorization. Plus will he remain faithful to the source material or diverge drastically? I am most reminded of Return to Oz. This film succeeded, but it was also carefully crafted to logically diverge from the source. The plot was constructed from the second and third Oz books (you do know there are more Oz books than one right?) But layered on top of that was a dark plot line of Dorothy having to undergo electric shock therapy. Which, while not relating to the magical land of Oz, would make sense if she came back to depression era Kansas and started talking about Tin Men and Flying Monkeys. But it is still done logically, and can we count Tim Burton to do anything logically? And the story of Alice is a delicate balancing act. For the number of times it has been filmed, I have only really liked two of the adaptations. The Disney cartoon is classic and is most likely the reason I picked up the book in the first place, but the only live action version I enjoyed was Jonathan Miller's. And Jonathan Miller's was a completely surrealist drug induced trip with minimal dialogue, lots of sitar music, and the Peters, Sellers and Cook. So I am very intrigued as to what is to come of this newest version. Are you looking forward to it? What do you think of the trailer?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

In the Name of Harry

In honor of the newest installment of the Harry Potter franchise gracing the silver screen I thought it would be fun to compile a list of all the things I have done (some be it absurd) in the name of Harry Potter. From lack of sleep to lack of sanity, to forsaking friends just to get through the book, to even making myself a wanted women (see picture), I've done it all.

• I have pretended to work magic spells, in particular "lumos". (In order to re-create this spell yourself, you will need a light and a friend standing next to that light who is willing to turn the light on when you point a wooden stick at it and say "lumos," and not laugh at you.)

• The night before my friends wedding, despite having the stomach flu and needing sleep, I still went to the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and was able to read a chapter before passing out from sheer exhaustion.

• One year for Christmas I knit all my friends scarves in their house colors. I soon realized I'd need a lot of blues because I know a surprisingly high number of Ravenclaws, with only a Gryffindor, a Hufflepuff and one Slytherin (you know who you are snake boy!)

• I was the artistic director for the Harry Potter charity event at the Wisconsin Club for two years running, forfeiting sleep and sanity for much of the first year. Though not many people can say they painted a faux engraved stone Hogwarts plaque.

• When Half Blood Prince came out I didn't sleep for well over 24 hours, needing to be in line for my wrist band at 6 am, and then reading the book till 6 am the following day, with a little Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in between.

• My friend Matt and I for Halloween made ourselves our own school uniforms, cloaks and all. Of course mine was a traditional school uniform and his was a Quidditch Captains uniform in flowing green. Mine was far warmer for October in Wisconsin.

• I have actually had a serious discussion with my friends as to whether I'd bring an owl to school. They all wanted owls because it's basically wizard email, I still went for a cat though.

• I have thought long and hard and decided I would probably be best at potions because I like doing recipes.

• Though I was unable to attend the Harry, Carrie and Garp event in New York City due to my mom having surgery, I now have a signed first edition of Half Blood Prince, which I then had a slipcase made for in a faux leather, chosen because it looked like dragon's hide.

• I made my own wand.

• I have taught others to make their own wands.

• Am I becoming Ollivander? Please don't let me end up in a dungeon....

• I was one of the only people at Barnes and Noble who dressed up for the release of the last book. What's with that really? Wouldn't they all want to be dressed up? Plus there were a lot of angry parents...

• I have read all the books in both American and British versions (and yes they are subtly different!)

• I think that Stephen Fry would kick Jim Dale's ass if they had a book narration competition (sorry Dave). Though for me conveying this honor on him he would never be allowed to do the Nymphadora Tonks voice EVER EVER AGAIN!

• I almost cried when I found that moths had eaten my Gryffindor scarf (made before my full allegiance was pledged to Ravenclaw). I took this as an omen I was never meant to be one of Godric Gryffidor's students.

• No other books are allowed on my Harry Potter shelf in my library, though I'm sadly in need of shelf space.

• I have a time turner, but it doesn't seem to be working...

• I bought the paperback mega box set that came out last week despite already owning all the books in hardcover, paperback, audio, British and French editions.

• I still think of Edward Cullen as Cedric Digory.

• I love that David Tennant (Dr. Who) and Roger Lloyd Pack (Owen Newitt, Vicar of Dibley) play father and son in Goblet of Fire. I also love how Brendan Gleason took on so many of David Tennant's mannerisms that when he became David it was a very quick transition. I also hope other people noticed this besides me...I can't be the only David Tennant freak right?

• For my friends birthdays I gave them Bertie Botts beans, they ate them all, it was disgusting to watch.

• If Hogwarts were a real place I would apply to be the Muggle Studies teacher.

• I have a Sirus Black wanted poster framed.

• While I love Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart, I still think Val Kilmer would have been awesome. Also I think Richard E. Grant should have been Remus Lupin and Diana Rigg as McGonagall.

• Before the movies I kind of pictured Dumbledore as Jim Henson.

• I totally agree with the statement Daniel Radcliffe made that he pictures characters in books kind of like cartoons.

• I have a friend who really likes Daniel Radcliffe and feels that she is going to a "Special Hell."

• My character in Everquest 2 is a Ratunga, aka a giant rat, her name is Pettigrew, I often get complimented by random people who go "Harry Potter Rules!" Pettigrew has three pet cats in her apartment in the Shades, their names are James, Sirus and Remus.

• I've had a goldfish since 1993 and my friends keep telling me that it's really an Animagus.

• I have a Harry Potter ipod, school crest and all engraved on the back.

• And finally, for my final project in Intro to Computer Graphics I created Voldemort's Chocolate Magic Stars Cereal, for Pure-Blood Wizards! Sweetened oat cereal with a sense of entitlement!

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