Showing posts with label Slytherin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Slytherin. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Book Review - Stephen King's Under the Dome

Under the Dome by Stephen King
Published by: Scribner
Publication Date: November 10th, 2009
Format: Kindle, 1092 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy

One fall day a dome mysteriously appears around the town of Chester's Mill, Maine. No one knows how or why. Over the preceding week tensions rise and the death toll mounts. Jim Rennie, the local second selectman with a Napoleon complex has spent his life constrained somewhat by the laws of the United States. It hasn't stopped him creating the biggest Meth empire in all of North America, but it has stopped him instituting martial law and making himself the town's benevolent dictator. The arrival of the dome is a dream come true. With his megalomania unconstrained, he orchestrates the events in Chester's Mill like a gifted composer. With Rennie working against the rest of the town trying and praying to be released, will the situation stay firmly under his control, or will his sins come to claim his so that he will be eating at the Lord's table by dinnertime?

Back in 2009 when this book came out I was super excited. I had just gotten a Kindle for my birthday back in August and I viewed this book as made for my Kindle. I mean, the book is over a thousand pages and could easily kill someone, even in paperback form. So a Kindle purchase it was. And there it sat. It's easier to neglect books on your Kindle then on your bookshelves because they aren't staring at you every day. It sat as a little electronic file in a little folder that says "Stephen King" that, as time went on, got pushed further and further back because of my Kindle's ludicrous need to keep files in order of when they were last opened verses the logical alphabet! Also, you know what, while I like that the Kindle has ease and access to out of print books, it just somehow has never drawn me in as much as a real book.

Flash forward to 2013 and summer's hottest new TV series, Under the Dome. Yep, before I even got to reading it it has become a TV series. I have always loved Stephen King TV series and special television events. They are tacky and over the top and above all fun in that guilty TV viewing way. So, seeing as I had a feeling I wouldn't pick up the book in the near future I started watching the show and got hooked. It's never going to be a favorite show or even one I will necessarily ever watch again, but, it is fun. When I heard it was picked up for a second season I realized that, what was fun and over the top, would leave me hanging and therefore invariably piss me off. I had read enough about the show and Stephen King's involvement to know that the show was going to drastically vary from the book, all with Stephen King's blessing, but knowing that it was to go beyond this summer I felt I needed some closure. I knew the book is a different ending so I figured, what the hell, I'll pick it up, finally, get some closure but not be spoiled at the same time. It was win win in my mind. And so I read the book, all thousand plus pages of it, and now I'm left with an odd sensation. The book didn't give me any closure and now I'm more pissed then ever that the show won't end this year.

The first thing I would like to say that this book taught me is that I would not survive under the dome. I don't keep enough food stockpiled. I have no weapons, no generator, no propane or batteries... I would be one of the first to die. But seeing as the death rate was insanely high in this book at least I would be one of the many not one of the few. Previous to this King book I had only read two of his other works, Misery and The Shining. Both these books have small, intimate casts with people isolated from society. The other end of the spectrum is books like Under the Dome and The Stand, which was a favorite miniseries of mine due to Corin "Parker Lewis" Nemec and Molly Ringwald, I mean seriously, the John Hughes girl all grown up and in a Stephen King miniseries, how could you not love this tack? Watching and reading are two different things though and the cast of Under the Dome was so large I just knew vaguely who they were, there were the "bad cops" and the "good cops," who can remember their names, I didn't, and then people in general categories based on where they usually where, like the "hospital people" and the "newspaper people." Also, when you have this many people, having a Ginny and a Gina both and the hospital, thank you Stephen King for giving me a headache. Add to that the fact that even the good guys were pretty unlikable, and well, who am I rooting for? Because personally, I think just having Junior Rennie and his posse (which is so Malfoy's posse from Slytherin) set loose on the town would have been funny and ended the book a lot earlier.

But let me get to the crux of my problem with the book, which wasn't the overtly hypocritical religiosity or the fact that I think the dome should have isolated them more like on the television show. I shall warn you that right now I'm going to give away the ending, because, let's face it, I was able to guess the ending five minutes in and it's not that shocking. Yes folks, it's aliens! Why? We don't know. This is a total cop out. At least explain something about it more then, "oh, they thought we were ants and it would be fun." Excuse me? They did it because they could? Well at least tell me more about the dome's properties? Like was the dome causing all these people to commit suicide? Because some of the animals were and, well, we are animals, so was that something the dome did or was it just based on people taking the easy way out? Explain! Also, you know, we've spent, a thousand pages with these people, maybe a few lines of how they handled life after they got out of the dome please? Now that you killed Benny did Joe and Norrie get together because she no longer had to choose? Anything Stephen, anything? Nope... ok. Guess I'll go sit in a fug over here. And by the way, having Jack Reacher show up was lame and a Lost reference, really? You should be better then this Stephen King.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

In the Name of Harry

In honor of the newest installment of the Harry Potter franchise gracing the silver screen I thought it would be fun to compile a list of all the things I have done (some be it absurd) in the name of Harry Potter. From lack of sleep to lack of sanity, to forsaking friends just to get through the book, to even making myself a wanted women (see picture), I've done it all.

• I have pretended to work magic spells, in particular "lumos". (In order to re-create this spell yourself, you will need a light and a friend standing next to that light who is willing to turn the light on when you point a wooden stick at it and say "lumos," and not laugh at you.)

• The night before my friends wedding, despite having the stomach flu and needing sleep, I still went to the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and was able to read a chapter before passing out from sheer exhaustion.

• One year for Christmas I knit all my friends scarves in their house colors. I soon realized I'd need a lot of blues because I know a surprisingly high number of Ravenclaws, with only a Gryffindor, a Hufflepuff and one Slytherin (you know who you are snake boy!)

• I was the artistic director for the Harry Potter charity event at the Wisconsin Club for two years running, forfeiting sleep and sanity for much of the first year. Though not many people can say they painted a faux engraved stone Hogwarts plaque.

• When Half Blood Prince came out I didn't sleep for well over 24 hours, needing to be in line for my wrist band at 6 am, and then reading the book till 6 am the following day, with a little Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in between.

• My friend Matt and I for Halloween made ourselves our own school uniforms, cloaks and all. Of course mine was a traditional school uniform and his was a Quidditch Captains uniform in flowing green. Mine was far warmer for October in Wisconsin.

• I have actually had a serious discussion with my friends as to whether I'd bring an owl to school. They all wanted owls because it's basically wizard email, I still went for a cat though.

• I have thought long and hard and decided I would probably be best at potions because I like doing recipes.

• Though I was unable to attend the Harry, Carrie and Garp event in New York City due to my mom having surgery, I now have a signed first edition of Half Blood Prince, which I then had a slipcase made for in a faux leather, chosen because it looked like dragon's hide.

• I made my own wand.

• I have taught others to make their own wands.

• Am I becoming Ollivander? Please don't let me end up in a dungeon....

• I was one of the only people at Barnes and Noble who dressed up for the release of the last book. What's with that really? Wouldn't they all want to be dressed up? Plus there were a lot of angry parents...

• I have read all the books in both American and British versions (and yes they are subtly different!)

• I think that Stephen Fry would kick Jim Dale's ass if they had a book narration competition (sorry Dave). Though for me conveying this honor on him he would never be allowed to do the Nymphadora Tonks voice EVER EVER AGAIN!

• I almost cried when I found that moths had eaten my Gryffindor scarf (made before my full allegiance was pledged to Ravenclaw). I took this as an omen I was never meant to be one of Godric Gryffidor's students.

• No other books are allowed on my Harry Potter shelf in my library, though I'm sadly in need of shelf space.

• I have a time turner, but it doesn't seem to be working...

• I bought the paperback mega box set that came out last week despite already owning all the books in hardcover, paperback, audio, British and French editions.

• I still think of Edward Cullen as Cedric Digory.

• I love that David Tennant (Dr. Who) and Roger Lloyd Pack (Owen Newitt, Vicar of Dibley) play father and son in Goblet of Fire. I also love how Brendan Gleason took on so many of David Tennant's mannerisms that when he became David it was a very quick transition. I also hope other people noticed this besides me...I can't be the only David Tennant freak right?

• For my friends birthdays I gave them Bertie Botts beans, they ate them all, it was disgusting to watch.

• If Hogwarts were a real place I would apply to be the Muggle Studies teacher.

• I have a Sirus Black wanted poster framed.

• While I love Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart, I still think Val Kilmer would have been awesome. Also I think Richard E. Grant should have been Remus Lupin and Diana Rigg as McGonagall.

• Before the movies I kind of pictured Dumbledore as Jim Henson.

• I totally agree with the statement Daniel Radcliffe made that he pictures characters in books kind of like cartoons.

• I have a friend who really likes Daniel Radcliffe and feels that she is going to a "Special Hell."

• My character in Everquest 2 is a Ratunga, aka a giant rat, her name is Pettigrew, I often get complimented by random people who go "Harry Potter Rules!" Pettigrew has three pet cats in her apartment in the Shades, their names are James, Sirus and Remus.

• I've had a goldfish since 1993 and my friends keep telling me that it's really an Animagus.

• I have a Harry Potter ipod, school crest and all engraved on the back.

• And finally, for my final project in Intro to Computer Graphics I created Voldemort's Chocolate Magic Stars Cereal, for Pure-Blood Wizards! Sweetened oat cereal with a sense of entitlement!

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