strange and random happenstance

Right about now you're probably thinking that she can't be serious including the dark reinterpretation of the Archie comics on her "must watch" list from the last year's television viewing? Oh yes I am. Deadly serious! Like when Jason Blossom's body washed ashore serious. Firstly, as a kid I loved reading the Archie comics, and yes, when I heard they were making Riverdale I was skeptical. In fact I didn't even watch it when it aired on the CW, instead, during a dark and trying weekend I really needed an escape and Riverdale was on Netflix and I binged it. I binged it hard and I loved every minute of it. It quite literally got me through each day knowing that at the end of it I could watch it. From eighties teen icons being the parents to me finally actually feeling something other than loathing for Veronica, I was shocked how much I enjoyed it. The show had a very specific target it was aiming for, trying to make Riverdale land somewhere between Veronica Mars and Twin Peaks and it hit the mark. It also didn't hurt that Betty's mom was played by Twin Peaks alum Mädchen Amick. There's a murder to be solved, there are shady dealings, gangs, and Jughead Jones becomes a Holden Caulfield for a new generation. Though once you realize that yes, that IS Skeet Ulrich as Jughead's dad you may start to feel a little old. I can't wait until it returns and I can tune into even more deadly teen drama with secret pregnancies, liaisons with teachers, and some kick ass music by Josie and the Pussycats. Just leave your high school hangups at the door of Pop's and grab a shake, just watch out for Archie's dad bleeding to death on the floor.  

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: 80s, Adaptation, And the Emmy Goes To, Archie Comics, Comics, CW, High School, Holden Caulfield, Jason Blossom, Josie and the Pussycats, Madchen Amick, Murder, Netflix, Riverdale, Twin Peaks, Veronica Mars

For me, my turning into a bookworm all started with science fiction. The reason is two fold. When I was younger I rarely read at all. Instead I watched lots of movies. In particular I watched a LOT of Star Wars. When I mean I watched a lot of Star Wars, I mean really a lot. I mean an entire summer just watching the original trilogy over and over. When I found the Star Wars Expanded Universe in the form of Timothy Zahn's Heir to the Empire, I felt as if a whole new world was open to me. I give Timothy Zahn almost all of the credit for turning me into the bookworm I am now and I hope one day to tell him that in person. He took characters I already loved and gave them new adventures for me to devour. The second half of my conversion was due to Douglas Adams. After high school I spent that summer reading all of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as well as all of Jane Austen, but that's another story. Those books by Adams are still a touchstone for me. I remember how it felt to hold them with the circular embossing on the covers while I laughed at the absurdity of Arthur Dent's predicament. It almost makes me want to curl up on the side porch in blistering heat and re-read the full trilogy, as this would be the cheapest form of time travel. But the truth is over time I have moved away from science fiction and more to it's counterpart of fantasy. I remember years ago the heated discussions online of the divide between science fiction and fantasy despite them being shelved together in bookstores. It all came down to dragons. So perhaps I like my imaginary worlds to have a few dragons these days. This means that my science fiction reading has lapsed of late. So more than anything I'm trying to reconnect with my roots here. To go back to imaginative storytelling with a science base and the occasional spacecraft. Here's to worlds without dragons! And of course Star Wars!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Arthur Dent, Backlog Bonanza, Douglas Adams, Dragons, Fantasy, Heir to the Empire, High School, Jane Austen, Science, Science Fiction, Star Wars, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Timothy Zhan

Congo
Based on the book by Michael Crichton
Starring: Laura Linney, Dylan Walsh, Ernie Hudson, Tim Curry, Grant Heslov, Joe Don Baker, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Bruce Campbell, Taylor Nichols, Joe Pantoliano, Delroy Lindo, Stuart Pankin, Peter Jason, James Karen, Shayna Fox, and Frank Welker
Release Date: June 9th, 1995
Rating: ★
To Buy

Charlie Travers is leading an expedition in the Congo to find diamonds to power high tech communications devices, in other words, lasers, for TraviCom, a company run by his father. Charlie misses his second check in with his father back in Huston and when they get the video feed back online they see death and destruction everywhere and a mysterious ape like creature rushing past the camera. Charlie's father, R.B. Travis, begs his employee Doctor Karen Ross to go to the Congo. Karen agrees if the expedition is really to save Charlie, her former fiance, and not to get the diamonds. In California, Doctor Peter Elliott runs Project Amy, which has been teaching Amy the gorilla sign language. Amy is amazing, she has a glove that allows her to actually speak when signing and she's learned to paint. Of course the paintings are actually a form of therapy to help with her nightmares. Peter wishes to return Amy to her home in the Congo but the University doesn't want to lose Amy and the cost would be prohibitive. Enter Herkermer Homolka, a philanthropist who claims his interest is to see Amy happy, when really he suspects Amy is the key to finding the lost city of Zinj and King Solomon's Diamond Mines. Do to necessity Karen Ross attaches herself to Amy's party and they have only a few political hiccups in entering the Congo. With their forces combined will they find the diamonds, Charlie, or Amy's home? Or will they find nothing but death and destruction?

In 1995 Congo was tied with Sphere, well, maybe a little ahead of Sphere, as my favorite Crichton book; and it was going to be a movie! Not only that, it was going to be a movie with Tim Curry, my most favorite of all actors! Rocky Horror and Clue forever! The movie just happened to be opening right after my junior year of high school ended. I was counting down the days to summer break and then the last few weeks of my junior year descended into hell. I got the sickest I had ever been in years, I can still remember the pain as if it was yesterday. I had such a severe ear infection that I kept thinking if only I could get that metal spike from The X-Files and jam it in my ear everything would be better. I didn't sleep for days, making me test the theory that if you stay awake for three days straight you're insane. I quite possibly was, but aren't we all mad here?

I was so disoriented I picked up a soldering iron in art metal from the wrong end. Yes, that's right, I thought why not pick it up by the searing hot metal end that likes to burn flesh. Luckily for some unknown reason I picked it up with my non-dominate left hand, so I could at least still write and take all my finals the coming week, oh happy day. I spent all my spare time trying to finish my stained glass project with my one good hand, and then I had a week's worth of finals and on Saturday morning, before getting to see Congo, I had the ACTs. Because what better then to take the ACTs with a fever of 104! I still say getting a 26 when I was giggling to myself at the absurdity of my situation and randomly selecting answers was pretty darn good. It was good enough for the school I was applying to so that's all that mattered. And then, after all this suffering, my reward was Congo. It wasn't much of a reward. 

Of all the adaptations of Crichton's films Congo is begging for a remake. If not just for the advancement in technology, could the new version try to maintain any aspect of the book, oh, and can Andy Serkis play Amy? Bring back those ominous hand paddles and crush some skulls! Seriously, I have a new cast in mind and it would be awesome. Just saying, Jennifer Lawrence, Lee Pace, and Toby Stephens. Back to this version... the biggest and most detrimental change from page to screen in my mind is the changes wrought with the character of Doctor Karen Ross. Putting aside my hatred of Laura Linney, because I have a strong feeling that it was this movie that started this hate, this adaptation once again shows that for Hollywood woman can't be strong and ruthless, yes they can be strong, yes they can make tough decisions, but it all comes down to gooey romantic feelings. Ah, ick. Karen Ross didn't want to go to the Congo to prove she could do it, to succeed and get the diamonds at all costs, as in the book, oh no, she went to rescue her ex-fiance and her boss's son! Yes, it's all about saving someone she loved!

I wonder if Michael Crichton when watching all these various films of his books ever cringed. He doesn't write weak females and yet time and again they are made weaker. By making Doctor Ross all about her heart they are taking a book about ruthless business practices and making it into a doomed love story. By doing this they are shifting the burden for their journey into the Congo onto Amy. Amy's return to the wild becomes foremost. Instead of Amy being an addition to the expedition, Doctor Ross is an addition to Amy's release. And this change doesn't work because this throws the whole plot into turmoil and forces the movie to add in unnecessary characters that are literally cannon fodder in an attempt to keep the diamond subplot. And yes, that is a laser powered by diamonds. Yes, seriously, lasers! Lasers that could punch a hole in the moon. Say what? I know a psychic vegan who can do this and yes, it is still more believable the this freakin' laser.

By taking Doctor Ross out of the driver's seat the movie now needs someone to get Amy, she is now the star after all, to Africa AND have the interest in the diamonds. Hence, as much as it pains me to say he's an unnecessary character, Tim Curry is brought in as the ludicrous Herkermer Homolka. Firstly, who thought of that name? Secondly, why are we having this weird H. Rider Haggard throw back? The whole point of Congo was to have a modern interpretation of the adventure novels of Haggard, not do this weird clash of modern and old fashioned. Mesh the two don't set them off against each other. Also, Curry is basically the great white hunter, but so is Ernie Hudson, why do we need two characters that could, in a better written story serve the same purpose? For my money, despite my adoration of Curry, I'd stick with Hudson, he was the only one who was perfect in this plane wreck of a movie.

But, oh dear. Despite ranting about all the changes I haven't even gotten to the worst of it. I'm talking about Amy. Firstly lets talk animatronics. All the apes were done by Stan Winston who, if we were to judge him by this movie, has never seen an ape in his life. Seriously. What they hell. By the end of the movie we're in this weird guns blazing human engineered ape cave with everything going to shit in epic The Island of Doctor Moreau fashion, what the fuck. And I mean the crappy film version. Which came out a year after this film and was also done by Stan Winston. Sigh. So firstly, we have apes that don't even look like apes, then add Amy's "Power Glove." Though, to reference the Nintendo Power Glove is a disservice to Nintendo. So apparently having Peter translate Amy's sign language or even just having subtitles wasn't "cool" enough and instead we get this weird childish talking ape. And yes, if you ask me at a party, I will do my impersonation. Yes, it's so bad it deserves one. Easily. Also, interesting fact, if you had a friend named Amy in high school, this might just be their most hated film because of the "Power Glove."

The first and only time I watched this film I was so distracted by plot changes and talking apes I missed the weirdest part of this movie, and that's the jungle itself. Now, I'm not talking about the built sets that looked like they were rejects from Legends of the Hidden Temple or Xena: Warrior Princess, a conclusion that is easy to reach because of Bruce Campbell being in the movie. I mean seriously, look at that river, doesn't it look a little chocolaty to you? Is that ape throwing eyeballs at Bruce really Augustus Gloop? That is a whole different level of cheesiness. No, what I'm talking about is that the jungle is SO OBVIOUSLY NOT Africa, something my fevered brain missed the first time around. Yes, it's probably hard to get permission to film there, but still... why not just build the whole freakin' jungle, you badly built enough of it already. For the majority of the film I thought perhaps I was mistaken in the film's stupidity of not even filming in Africa, but the credits confirmed it. Costa Rica it is! In fact, isn't this the rain forest where some dinos fled to after leaving Jurassic Park? But then again, the people behind this film obviously thought the viewing public was made of idiots having the lost city of Zinj's architecture based on Cambodian temples... you know, that Asian country half a world away... or maybe they were just so stupid they didn't know or care. Because if you walk away from this film with one impression it's that it was made by idiots.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Adaptation, Africa, Bruce Campbell, Clue, Congo, Costa Rica, Crichton Celebration, Gorilla, High School, Jurassic Park, Michael Crichton, Sphere, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Tim Curry, Willy Wonka, Xena

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
Published by: Ballantine Books
Publication Date: January, 1990
Format: Paperback, 399 Pages
Rating: ★★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Paleontologist Alan Grant is working in the Badlands of South Dakota on his dig site with his student Ellie Sattler. Alan's been working the site for many years thanks recently to a grant from billionaire John Hammond. For awhile he was funded by Hammond's company InGen, but the hassle of dealing with their apparently irrelevant questions about dinosaurs made him sever ties with them. Those ties are going to be tested in the next few days. An apparent dinosaur has been found on the coast of Costa Rica, inland from Hammond's private island. Hammond has asked Grant and Sattler to come to this island for an "inspection." It turns out that Hammond has been building a theme park and his investors are getting jumpy. By bringing a group capable of assessing the safety of the island together Hammond hopes to quell the dissent. Though the shocking truth of the park rattles Grant. Hammond has been able to genetically recreate dinosaurs and has made these newly resurrected creatures the theme of his resort. Another one of the assessment group, mathematician Ian Malcolm, is predicting doom and gloom, saying that his projections show that Jurassic Park is inherently dangerous. To prove Malcolm wrong Hammond has invited his two young grandchildren along to show the parks safety. The park isn't safe. Malcolm was right. They will be lucky to escape with their lives.

Jurassic Park was the beginning. The problem I've always had with school is that I only want to take what I'm interested in. College, aside from those pesky prerequisites, was ideal for me in that my entire schedule could be tailor made to be art, art, and more art. Whereas high school, high school was not. I would attempt to delay the inevitable as long as possible. One way I did that was to not take science freshman year. Sure, this meant that I was then taking science with the grade lower then me, but it meant that I had a year with no science, so it was totally worth it. And it's not that I hate science, well, I have issues, let's put it like that. But aside from physics, my brain isn't programed that way. It's a subject I would rather avoid if I can. Luckily I had a biology teacher who understood that for some students cutting apart a fetal pig wasn't the highlight of their week. And don't get me started on microscopes, they make me all cross eyed, I just can't stand looking through them! So my teacher had other projects that could be done to boost our scores, and while aligning myself with the Australian foreign exchange student who loved to cut things helped out some, I was needing to do some of these other projects badly. One project I did was I got to build a cross section of a plant cell out of clay and then paint and label the whole thing. I loved building it and my teacher loved it so much he asked to keep it. Another project option was to write a book report on Jurassic Park. The movie had just come out over the summer break and was still dominating theaters. I devoured the book and was desperate to have my own slice of real amber. Thus began an addiction that would take in everything Crichton has ever written.

Coming back to the book over twenty years later was a surreal experience. While I have read the sequel a fair few times I haven't picked up Jurassic Park since that book report when I was a sophomore. More then any of Crichton's other books Jurassic Park has become part of our culture. It is THE book that people associate with Crichton. It has spawned a franchise that is part of our collective unconscious so much so that even Weird Al has parodied it with his album artwork for "Alapalooza." When the movie came out it tapped into the zeitgeist and hasn't left. The problem this creates in reading the book is that the visuals from the movie are burned into our brains. The book and the movie have become so intertwined that you can't just read the book without having the key visual images come to mind. The T-Rex doesn't just attack the tour, the glass of water must first ripple to draw out the tension. The T-Rex must roar and the banner must fall. And you know what? These scenes aren't in the book! But you expect them to be, you picture them anyway. While I love movies, there's a part of me that wishes there was some way to keep the book and the movie separate and have no cross contamination.

As time has passed the movie has replaced the book in my brain, but it's time that's the real villain in re-reading Jurassic Park. The truth is I've grown up. I'm no longer a teenager, not that I'd want to be, but there are certain things unique to being a teenager, in particular a teenager with a little brother. And that is I've lost my knowledge of dinosaurs. When you're a kid there's something mystical that makes dinosaurs an all consuming passion, especially for boys. Most of my childhood was taken up with dinosaurs. My brother's bedroom was papered with every kind of poster of a dinosaur you could imagine. I remember when the Milwaukee Public Museum had their grand opening for their dinosaur exhibit and we were there. Since that day I have had nightmares about the Tyrannosaurus ripping out the guts of that Triceratops that is on gruesome display, forever trapped in that horrific moment. Back then if someone where to say a dinosaur name I'd instantly know the visual. Now, not so much. I have three dinosaurs in my brain now that I can instantly recognize, Tyrannosaurus, Brontosaurus, and Triceratops. There are seventeen varieties of dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. I have no idea what they look like and this is a big problem when trying to visualize the story. I muddle their names and I don't know one from the other. The confusion that results saps the fear from the book for me.

To have a thriller that no longer has any fear kind of defeats the purpose of the book. Because the fear of the dinosaurs is the only thing driving this book forward. Therefore I had no drive to keep reading it and instead of devouring this book I kind of leisurely strolled to the end. The characters, especially Lex and her grandfather, are so annoying that you are rooting for the dinosaurs to kill them; preferably in a long and agonizing manner. There are so many plot problems with the book that I felt like thumping my head against a wall. Why does this have to be the most popular of Crichton's books? There are so many better ones! The secondary plot though drove me to distraction. So, while they're out in the park they see some raptors jump on board the ship to the mainland and then they have 18 hours or whatever to get ahold of the ship to tell them to turn around. Grant mentions this every few hours to remind us of this totally unnecessary plot contrivance. Why is it unnecessary? Because we have pretty much stated the fact that dinosaurs have already made it to the mainland so what's three more raptors? Also, if it's to add more urgency to their trek through the park, I thought just surviving would be enough?

But I quibble. I pick. This was an ok read, far more enjoyable then the book I'm reading at the moment. Crichton has a similarity to his books but also a breadth to his subjects that feels like home and it's fun diving back in after all these years. I wouldn't be the critic I am today with my love of reading if Crichton didn't spark it. And the more I re-read Crichton the more I see how eerily accurate he was in predicting human behavior and trends. His books are just as relevant, if not more so, then the day they were written. I know the scientific community never liked Crichton being so outspoken and were always criticizing his views, perhaps because his hits were too close to the mark. I wonder what he'd have to say about companies like Monsanto and what they've been up to. I mean, sure, in Jurassic Park we are given a worst case scenario of scientific advancement being made just because they could without thinking of the long term consequences of releasing dinosaurs back into the world; but look to the smaller scale, to the GMO crisis that abounds now! Think about a company like Monsanto spraying a field of corn with a pesticide they're not quite sure what it will do and they end up with rat stomachs exploding. Hammond is the epitome of the problem, nearsighted people looking for their own glory; go hang the world. More and more the world is being made up of these people. Malcolm is right, it's not about the earth surviving us, it's about us surviving us.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Brontosaurus, Costa Rica, Crichton Celebration, Dinosaur, Dinosaurs, DNA, GMO, High School, Jurassic Park, Michael Crichton, Milwaukee, Monsanto, Paleontologist, Science, Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus, Weird Al

Shocking as it may seem that an Anglophile and bibliophile became this way because of one of the most popular bestselling authors of thrillers and science fiction it is still true. Michael Crichton made me who I am. My formative years were all television shows and movies, with the occasional novelization of said television show or movie as my reading for the year. I'd sometimes daringly branch out to such books as Timothy Zahn's continuation of the Star Wars saga; but reading for fun was something I rarely did. Thanks to a biology teacher who knew some kids weren't cut out for science I found a love of one author and a love of reading that would change my life.

It was my sophomore year in high school and I was finally taking biology. The previous year I was able to convince my parents that if they made me take science my first year I'd be more likely to skip school... seeing as how much I already skipped it's surprising that this ploy worked. But I really lucked out in my biology teacher. I got to build a model of a plant cell, which my teacher liked so much that he asked to keep it. In later years in high school I would use my artistic talents in as many classes as I could to my benefit, even doing a painting for my history class of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, but this was the first time I realized that I could use my skill set outside of art classes. One of these optional assignments in biology was reading Jurassic Park.

Jurassic Park was the very first Michael Crichton book that I read and over the next few years I would devour everything he had ever written. Because I still had such a love of movies whenever a Crichton book was adapted for the screen this became a big deal. The mid nineties was the perfect time to be a Crichton fanatic in this regard. Jurassic Park, Rising Sun, Disclosure, Congo, The Lost World, Sphere, and The 13th Warrior were all made into films! I remember the sheer excitement of getting to go to an advance screening of The Lost World at Point Cinema with my friends. Yes, the movie was awful, but I can still remember that anticipation. That anticipatory excitement is once again running through me, I mean have you seen the trailer for Jurassic World yet? This got me to thinking of all the Crichton books that I haven't read in years and all the movies I only saw in the theaters and I thought, it's time to revisit my roots. And thus my Crichton Celebration was born. I hope you'll join me the next two months counting down to Jurassic World with a look back at Crichton's and my shared past.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Biology, Congo, Crichton Celebration, Disclosure, High School, Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Michael Crichton, Movies, Rising Sun, Sphere, Star Wars, The 13th Warrior, The Lost World, Timothy Zhan