strange and random happenstance: Nimue

Smoke and Ashes by Alexis Hall
Published by: Carina Press
Publication Date: November 12th, 2020
Format: Kindle, 332 Pages
Rating: ★
To Buy

About three years ago, shit has it been three years? Kate Kane's life went to hell. Technically literally, but that's another story. Her life was saved but in the process it also fell apart. She was betrayed by her girlfriend, Julian Saint-Germain, once again proving you can never trust vampires, and her best friend, Elise, was turned back into a statue. But the worst fate belonged to her ex Nimue, who lost half her face in the battle for the very soul of London and now lies in a coma. Since then Kate's done exactly what you'd expect her to do, drunkenly wallow. Although the thread count of the sheets in the bed she's been wallowing in have gone drastically up since she started banging Tara Vane-Tempest. Posh werewolves really do have a nice life. Although this posh werewolf is even starting to question Kate's life plan. One can't stay in bed forever drunk. Of course when Kate does get out of Tara's bed she often ends up in someone else's... Which she's not sure if Tara is OK with. But Kate's life is a train wreck so what does it matter if she destroys the one kind of good thing in it? Though things are about to change. Not for the better. The werewolves have been attacked. One was skinned. The perpetrator has links to Kate, links she'd rather not think about because the attacker happens to be the vampire that sired Patrick, her intolerable ex who is still listening to "Clair de Lune" on repeat. Her arrival would be problematic enough if she hadn't teamed up with the vampire who almost killed Kate three years previously, Sebastian Douglas, who has allied himself with the Queen of Winter, the King of Shadows. This is a clusterfuck of vengeance coming right for Kate and those few people she still tries to care about even if she's kind of lost touch with them. But Kate knows things are really about to kick off when her prophetic dreams return. The green lady who is and isn't Nimue tells Kate that all that is wrong is because Nim's life is in the balance. She needs to be killed or restored so that London can recover. Of course Kate doesn't want Nim to die, which means she has to find the Holy Grail. Yes, THAT Holy Grail.

How would I describe Smoke and Ashes? A damn stupid interminable vision quest without an actual ending. This volume, and to an extent the previous volume, seem to be prologue to whatever is coming in the final volume, Time and Tide, which is now two years overdue. Not that I actually care. Other than if the final volume was out I could read it and then never look back. Because all that I mildly enjoyed in this series has been slowly stripped away. The narrowing of focus has made this nothing more than bad King Arthur fanfic. And I like King Arthur fanfic, my love of Merlin, both the campy BBC series and the Sam Neill miniseries, should be enough to prove my bona fides. But I can't stand this. This stripping down of characters, this myopic drunken vision quest. If you would have told me I'd react so strongly to the removal of a Pudding Nun and Pygmalion I would have laughed at you. And I would have been so so wrong. And yes, I know Pygmalion was the sculptor, it just has such a nice alliterative ring that I couldn't pass it up. Taking away the most "memorable" characters has been tantamount to suicide. The supposed three years since the events of the previous book has seen Kate become a committed drunken whore. Which proves to me, time and again, that the main problem with this whole series is it's star, Kate Kane. And this volume really let me get to the heart of why I hate here. Kate is an immature ass. Literally. She has no emotional maturity. I mean, this could have something to do with Patrick and her traumatic teens, that somehow her development has been stunted at a time in her life where she wasn't fully formed and instead of dealing with the trauma she has created a persona versus a personality. But this might just be me trying to justify her being drunk in Tara's bed for three years. Because Kate is what an ill-informed teenager would think a PI is, a drunk who bangs the dames. Yes, I guess this could be a valid life choice, but it's so damn depressing and nihilistic. Kate's always assumed she'd die young so she doesn't bother to work on herself, she doesn't actually try, she's willing to stay childish, even needing bedtime stories. She stumbles around when she has to, but really, if you think about all her actions, they are really only reactions. I want to smack her and tell to grow the fuck up. But I really don't think that would help, she knows how to take a punch.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments

Labels: Alexis Hall, Drunk, Elise, Fanfiction, Holy Grail, Julian Saint-Germain, Kate Kane, King Arthur, London Calling, Merlin, Nimue, P.I., Sam Neill, Smoke and Ashes, Tara Vane-Tempest, Time and Tide, Vampires, Werewolves

Fire and Water by Alexis Hall
Published by: Carina Press
Publication Date: February 24th, 2020
Format: Kindle, 278 Pages
Rating: ★
To Buy

Artie King is nothing more than a thug backed up with a granny from hell. OK technically he's a wizard, but he's also a skinhead and a gangster so thug covers all bases. Ten years ago when Kate and Nimue were together they fought him for the soul of the city. Nim won on a technicality, Artie King went to the clink. She's been the Witch Queen of London ever since. Only now Artie King is back and he wants London. Kate owes fealty to Nim but oddly enough that oath isn't what brings her back into the orbit of Artie King. That happens because of a job. The Merchant of Dreams had their shop broken into and a bust of Napoleon was stolen. Sadly Kate has a bad history with that bust. It's the reason her partner is dead and she's running her business with a living statue named Elise. Corin Black is the worst of femme fatales, you actually fall for her routine. Each and every time. You know being around her means certain death and yet you can't help yourself. No one can. Corin was looking for the statue when she and Kate had their first run in. She finally found the bust she was looking for, there were mulitple busts, it's like a story written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, but to protect the bust she pawned it to the Merchant of Dreams. Now someone has the bust and the Merchant has hired Kate to find it because it turns out Corin's obsession with the bust was because of what was inside; The Tears of Hypnos, capable of reshaping reality in the right hands. And Kate finds out that Artie King has gotten his hands on them. Or that was the plan until Corin showed up. Now the werewolves have them and it's just a big mess. Because even though Kate has been able to track the movements of the Tears she doesn't physically have them, and that wasn't the deal she made with the Merchant. And the Merchant is someone who understands deals. Intimately. Therefore it's up to Kate to broker a deal with the werewolves to give the tears to Nim so that she can win the battle for the soul of London and defeat Artie King once and for all. Only no matter how simple that may sound, life is never simple for Kate. Because there are kidnappings and side trips to hell and bargains made and vampires. And while she's not looking, the vampires might be Kate's biggest threat and weakness. After all, she is dating the Prince of Cups.

I naively thought that the length of time between the second and third volume might have indicated that the writing would have improved. Because writers do grow and become more polished. Sadly, this was not the case. Thankfully the amount of Twilight references have gone down, but oddly this made things worse. Because I wasn't focusing my rage on Alexis Hall using another author's work as lazy exposition the one-dimensionality of all the characters was even more apparent. If it wasn't for Elise I don't think I could have even gotten through this book. All Kate does is traipse about London in varying levels of injury, not really accomplishing much, but causing havoc in her wake with minimal plot. Or as Kate herself said utilizing "a loose collection of randoms, most of whom I've slept with" for information and help. This results in a sameness to the three volumes I've read making me dread reading the forth. The books weren't well written the first or second time around and the third time isn't the charm. But there is Elise. The Pygmalion of it all. Which, because of the age of the myth, has been used time and time again. I mean, they even did a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode that dealt exactly with the abandonment issues that Elise is processing. And Alexis Hall is no Jane Espenson. And yet Elise has a certain turn of phrase that makes her memorable. Her fascination for objects and their feelings, like how she wouldn't let Kate get rid of their destroyed car, gives her a depth. The love she has of temperature variations and textures is delightful. As is just the cadence of how she speaks. She has her own patois that it just adorable. And due to the storyline we finally get to learn more about her creation and world and how she wasn't the first or the last creation of Russel, he of "they're not comics they're graphic novels." Elise has "sisters." And they are all at different stages of her development. Beth, the eldest, is more developed and jaded, Alissa is the second youngest and still in the subservient phase, while Lisbeth is newborn. Part of me really wanted to just have them be the stars. And then Alexis Hall granted my wish and I realized I really need to be careful what I wish for because while Elise is interesting, she is more interesting seen through Kate's eyes. When she has control of the narrative somehow she loses her magic. Even her language loses it's luster. I think that was the last straw and the scales fell from my eyes. This series just isn't for me. But I'm willing to be proven wrong.