strange and random happenstance

Oh Miriam! by Miriam Margolyes
Published by: John Murray Publishers
Publication Date: January 2nd, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 336 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"From declaring my love to Vanessa Redgrave to being fed cockroaches by Steve Buscemi, from turnip-based comedy with Blackadder to being farted on by Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Graham Norton's sofa to Alan Cumming's camper van, my life has been (and continues to be) an uproarious adventure.

Oh Miriam! has been such a constant refrain in my life, said in all kinds of tones - laughs, surprised gasps and orgasmic sighs (I'm hoping for all of those from you as you read on!) - that it had to be the title of this book. And with a cast list that stretches from Churchill to DiCaprio, Dahl to Dietrich, Princess Margaret to Maggie Smith, I've so much more to tell you and so much more to say.

My chapters range from 'How to Stay Married' to 'Don't Let the Bastards Get You Down'. Discover how to break the thickest conversational ice; why swearing is actually good for you (though not on the Today programme); the unexpected things I learned at school and what my Spice Girl name would be. Not to mention my Tale of the Unexpected and my very own Vagina Monologue.

Buckle up and join me on another unforgettable adventure, but this time through my heart and head..."

Damn I love Miriam Margolyes. And yes, I organized this post based on how amused I would be if the titles of the books were chapter titles in her book.

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming
Published by: Orbit
Publication Date: January 2nd, 2024
Format: Paperback, 288 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Spice trader Cinnamon's quiet life is turned upside down when she ends up on a quest with a fiery demon, in this irreverently quirky rom-com fantasy that is sweet, steamy, and funny as hell.

All she wanted to do was live her life in peace - maybe get a cat, expand the family spice farm. Really, anything that didn't involve going on an adventure where an orc might rip her face off. But they say the goddess has favorites, and if so, Cin is clearly not one of them.

After Cin saves the demon Fallon in a wine-drunk stupor, Fallon reveals that all he really wants to do is kill an evil witch enslaving his people. And who can blame him? But now he's dragging Cinnamon along for the ride whether she like it or not. On the bright side, at least he keeps burning off his shirt...."

I mean, who wouldn't want to read this book? A hot demon that can burn off his shirt?

Barbarian's Touch by Ruby Dixon
Published by: Berkley Books
Publication Date: January 2nd, 2024
Format: Paperback, 352 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"The next novel in the Ice Planet Barbarians series, an international publishing phenomenon - now in a special print edition with a bonus new epilogue!

Lila has never been more frightened in her life, but when Rokan appears, everything changes.

When I wake up on the ice planet, I'm scared of everything: This place is cold, silent, and the locals look more like blue devils than aliens. To make matters worse, one of the strangers decides I'm going to be his girlfriend and kidnaps me away from my sister. I'm completely and utterly alone. What's a girl to do?

Well, this girl escapes.

Of course, that means I go from the frying pan into the fire, and my situation gets even more dangerous. Just when I have no hope left, a new hero shows up. Sure, he's blue, horned, and has a tail. He's also fierce, protective, makes me purr...and thinks I'm perfect.

But is what we have real or just a mating instinct?"

Anyone else think the art of Lila on the cover looks like the British actress Lucy Griffiths?

Heartless by H.G. Parry
Published by: Subterranean Press
Publication Date: January 2nd, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 144 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"At the age of seven, in a London workhouse, newly-orphaned James meets ten-year-old Peter. Mysterious, mercurial, thoughtless to the point of cruelty, Peter nonetheless takes a liking to James. The two forge a strange friendship, bound together by their shared love of stories - stories of a magical island called Neverland, where they adventure as the pirate James Hook and the child-king Peter Pan. But one fateful night, Peter vanishes from his bed, and in the morning James is found lying alone and broken in the courtyard outside. Only James saw Peter fly from the workhouse roof in pursuit of a star, and nobody but James believes that the star was a fairy. Over twenty years later, on the deck of a whaling ship in the frozen wastes of the Arctic, First Mate James Hook sees the same star again. James's obsession with finding his childhood friend will lead him to mutiny and murder, beyond the edges of the world, and finally to an island that shouldn't exist. But neither Neverland nor Peter are what they appear. A new story is about to begin, and not all stories have happy endings."

I will literally read anything put out by Subterranean Press, but the fact that it's written by H.G. Parry and is a retelling of Peter Pan, I have to read it now.

Garth Marenghi's TerrorTome by Garth Marenghi
Published by: Coronet Books (GB)
Publication Date: January 2nd, 2024
Format: Paperbacks, 304 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Dare you crack open the TerrorTome? (Mind the spine.)

When horror writer Nick Steen gets sucked into a cursed typewriter by the terrifying Type-Face, Dark Lord of the Prolix, the hellish visions inside his head are unleashed for real. Forced to fight his escaping imagination - now leaking out of his own brain - Nick must defend the town of Stalkford from his own fictional horrors, including avascular-necrosis-obsessed serial killer Nelson Strain and Nick's dreaded throppleganger, the Dark Third. Can he and Roz, his frequently incorrect female editor, hunt down these incarnate denizens of Nick's rampaging imaginata before they destroy Stalkford, outer Stalkford and possibly slightly further?

From the twisted genius of horror master Garth Marenghi - Frighternerman, Darkscribe, Doomsage (plus Man-Shee) - come three dark tales from his long-lost multi-volume epic: TerrorTome.

Can a brain leak?

(Yes, it can)"

If you know, you know. Also, if you know you are totally confused.

Rabbit Hole by Kate Brody
Published by: Soho Crime
Publication Date: January 2nd, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 384 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"A twisty, sexy debut exploring the dark side of true crime fandom and the blurry lines of female friendship, perfect for fans of Gillian Flynn, My Favorite Murder, and Fleabag.

Conspiracy theories from Reddit seduce a disaster-prone woman into an obsession with solving her older sister's cold-case disappearance.

Ten years ago, Theodora "Teddy" Angstrom's older sister, Angie, went missing. Her case remains unsolved. Now Teddy's father, Mark, has killed himself. Unbeknownst to Mark's family, he had been active in a Reddit community fixated on Angie, and Teddy can't help but fall down the same rabbit hole.

Teddy's investigation quickly gets her in hot water with her gun-nut boyfriend, her long-lost half brother, and her colleagues at the prestigious high school where she teaches English. Further complicating matters is Teddy's growing obsession with Mickey, a charming amateur sleuth who is eerily keen on helping her solve the case.

Bewitched by Mickey, Teddy begins to lose her moral compass. As she struggles to reconcile new information with old memories, her erratic behavior reaches a fever pitch, but she won't stop until she finds Angie - or destroys herself in the process.

A biting critique of the internet's voyeurism, Rabbit Hole is an outrageous and heart-wrenching character study of a mind twisted by grief - and a page-turning mystery that's as addictive as a late-night Reddit binge."

I was sold at Fleabag and Reddit binge.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:01 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Garth Marenghi, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, H.G. Parry, Heartless, Ice Planet Barbarians, Kate Brody, Kimberly Lemming, Lucy Griffiths, Miriam Margolyes, Petter Pan, Rabbit Hole, Ruby Dixon, Subterranean Press

Scaramouche by Rafael Sabatini
Published by: Public Domain Books
Publication Date: 1921
Format: Kindle, 438 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy

Andre-Louis Moreau "was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." But all in all it's an uncomplicated life. So his godfather Quentin de Kercadiou is rumored by all in his small town of Gavrillac to actually be his real father, he has no complaints as that good man has educated him to be a lawyer and set him up nicely. But Andre-Louis's life is soon to change because of one man, the Marquis de la Tour d'Azyr. The people of Brittany are suffering at the hands of the aristocrats and Andre-Louis's good friend Philippe de Vilmorin plans to remonstrate the Marquis de la Tour d'Azyr for his latest crime, killing a poor man for poaching. Instead the Marquis tricks Vilmorin into a duel he will lose and lose he does. Vilmorin wasn't killed because of a dead poacher, he was killed because his views and his way with words was a threat to the Marquis's way of life. As Andre-Louis cradles his dead friend he vows to use himself to get Vilmorin's words to the masses. He might not be a revolutionary himself but he owes it to Vilmorin to fulfill that man's purpose on this earth which was cut short. In Rennes and Nantes he works the crowd up into such fury that he must go on the lam or risk the gallows. He falls in with an acting troupe that uses the old tradition of the commedia dell'arte lead by an M. Binet. Within days he's elevated himself to the role of Scaramouche, and not long after he's writing all their scenarios and is half owner in the troupe. That all comes crashing down in Nantes because of the Marquis. The Marquis is not only wooing Quentin de Kercadiou's niece Aline, but he has taken up with Andre-Louis's fiance, M. Binet's daughter Climene. In an attempt to destroy the Marquis he creates a riot at the theater the troupe is performing at and flees into the night, ending up reinventing himself as a fencing master in Paris. Because if there's one thing that is certain, Andre-Louis lands on his feet. What isn't so certain is if he will ever avenge Vilmorin's life. As the atmosphere in Paris reaches the boiling point Andre-Louis and the Marquis de la Trou d'Azyr will face each other for the last time.

There are some books that the pages just fly by. You can't believe it when you reach the end of a chapter so quickly or that you devoured the whole thing in record time. Scaramouche is not one of those books. While it took me a week to read this book it felt like a million years. I kept wondering at my lack of progress. Was this book secretly set in eight point type? I guess I will never know. I will also never know what makes so many people hold this book near and dear. I was expecting some swashbuckling epic and instead I don't even know how to quantify this book. The affectation of a detached narrator culling the best stories out of the life of Andre-Louis is too contrived. You either get pages of dialogue wherein the characters are posturing or you get the narrator droning on. But at least when it's Andre-Louis's voice speaking there is some connection between the reader and the book, when the narrator tries to tackle the start of the French Revolution in their ham-fisted attempt to distill large issues down to manageable insights you are just lost in a morass of verbiage. Though if you read a little between the lines you get this sinking feeling that Sabatini is really for the aristocrats. Yes, the book starts out trying to avenge Vilmorin by bringing down the class system that caused his death but by the end it's kind of, maybe we should have left things as they were. Yes, what happened in the French Revolution was horrific, but I don't think the system that was in place was sustainable. I just felt like Sabatini was talking too much as someone from the future knowing what the revolution became and not staying in the moment with his characters. There was too much foresight even for someone looking back on the life of Andre-Louis. And yet...I might have been able to forgive all these issues had I actually liked Andre-Louis. I didn't. He's not likable. His morals will shift to whatever suits him in the moment. He never has any true hardship. All call him heartless, and I agree. Not just because of how he behaves but because he lacks that breath of life that would make him someone I wanted to read about. And never forget his desire to avenge Vilmorin just comes and goes depending on how he's feeling that day. Why should I devote my time to someone who can't even fully commit to revenge?

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 1 comments  

Labels: Andre-Louis Moreau, Brittany, Commedia Dell'Arte, Fencing, French Revolution, Heartless, Murder, Narrator, Paris, Rafael Sabatini, Regency Romp, Revenge, Scaramouche, Swashbuckling, The Marquis de la Tour d'Azyr

Heartless by Marissa Meyer
Published by: Feiwel and Friends
Publication Date: November 8th, 2016
Format: Hardcover, 464 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Long before she was the terror of Wonderland―the infamous Queen of Hearts―she was just a girl who wanted to fall in love.

Long before she was the terror of Wonderland, she was just a girl who wanted to fall in love. Catherine may be one of the most desired girls in Wonderland, and a favorite of the unmarried King of Hearts, but her interests lie elsewhere. A talented baker, all she wants is to open a shop with her best friend. But according to her mother, such a goal is unthinkable for the young woman who could be the next queen.

Then Cath meets Jest, the handsome and mysterious court joker. For the first time, she feels the pull of true attraction. At the risk of offending the king and infuriating her parents, she and Jest enter into an intense, secret courtship. Cath is determined to define her own destiny and fall in love on her terms. But in a land thriving with magic, madness, and monsters, fate has other plans.

In her first stand-alone teen novel, the New York Times-bestselling author dazzles us with a prequel to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland."

For me, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is sacred and not to be messed with. However, Marissa Meyer has shown time and again that if there's someone who can create a new twist on an old tale and succeed it's her. Therefore this is THE MOST anticipated YA book of the fall.

The Jekyll Revelation by Robert Masello
Published by: 47North
Publication Date: November 8th, 2016
Format: Paperback, 492 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"A spellbinding thriller from the bestselling author of The Einstein Prophecy.

A chilling curse is transported from 1880s London to present-day California, awakening a long-dormant fiend.

While on routine patrol in the tinder-dry Topanga Canyon, environmental scientist Rafael Salazar expects to find animal poachers, not a dilapidated antique steamer trunk. Inside the peculiar case, he discovers a journal, written by the renowned Robert Louis Stevenson, which divulges ominous particulars about his creation of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It also promises to reveal a terrible secret—the identity of Jack the Ripper.

Unfortunately, the journal—whose macabre tale unfolds in an alternating narrative with Rafe’s—isn’t the only relic in the trunk, and Rafe isn’t the only one to purloin a souvenir. A mysterious flask containing the last drops of the grisly potion that inspired Jekyll and Hyde and spawned London’s most infamous killer has gone missing. And it has definitely fallen into the wrong hands."

Yes, it sounds a little cheesy, but seriously, to combine literary icon Robert Louis Stevenson with Jack the Ripper it's a no-brainer that I'm going to read it. 

Rhythm and Clues by Sue Ann Jaffarian
Published by: Midnight Ink
Publication Date: November 8th, 2016
Format: Paperback, 312 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Amateur sleuth Odelia Grey tries to get a band back together―and get her mother off the hook―in book eleven of the award-winning series.

It’s a rockin’ flashback for Odelia Grey when her mother asks her to look into the disappearance of her neighbor Bo Shank, the former lead singer for a band Odelia idolized in her youth. But when a body is found in Bo Shank’s house, everything quickly gets thrown out of tune."

Just looking at that cover I want to hang out with this sleuth!

The Princess in Black Takes a Vacation by Shannon and Dean Hale
Published by: Candlewick
Publication Date: November 8th, 2016
Format: Hardcover, 96 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Even monster-battling princesses get tired sometimes! But a peaceful time away is hard to find as the humorous New York Times best-selling series continues.

After battling monsters all night, a sleepy Princess in Black decides that she needs a vacation. After all, the Goat Avenger, a new hero who looks oddly familiar, has offered to protect the goats while she takes a much needed break. The very next day Princess Magnolia rides her bicycle to the seaside, where the air is salty, the sun is shiny, and the sea is as blue as monster fur. But just as Princess Magnolia is about to take a nap on her hammock, she hears a "ROAR!" Seriously? A monster? On the perfect beach? Impossible! Could a sea monster really ruin this vacation for the Princess in Black?"

New Shannon Hale book, it's a mandatory purchase. 

Jim Henson's Labyrinth Artist Tribute by Various
Published by: Archaia
Publication Date: November 8th, 2016
Format: Paperback, 112 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Get Lost in the Labyrinth as You’ve Never Seen it Before!

In the thirty years since its original release in 1986, Jim Henson’s timeless fantasy film Labyrinth has captured the minds and imaginations of authors, artists, filmmakers, and fans across the world. In honor of the film’s 30th anniversary, return to the world of Labyrinth and see the beloved characters, imaginative locations, and unforgettable moments as realized by a collection of uniquely original artistic voices in an unprecedented celebration of the cult classic thirty years in the making.

Labyrinth: Artist Gallery features illustrations and testimonials from comics luminaries and newcomers alike, including: Mike Allred, Joëlle Jones, David Mack, Rebekah Isaacs, Eric Powell, Gustavo Duarte, Jill Thompson, Mark Buckingham, Tula Lotay, Faith Erin Hicks, Ramón Perez, Dustin Nguyen, Mike Huddleston, Jeff Stokely, and many more of your favorite artists!"

Seriously, I pre-ordered this book as soon as I could. That cover alone people!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Alice in Wonderland, David Bowie, Dean Hale, Heartless, Jack the Ripper, Jim Henson, Labyrinth, Marissa Meyer, Robert Masello, Shannon Hale, Sue Ann Jaffarian, The Jekyll Revelation, The Princess in Black

Stars Above by Marissa Meyer
Published by: Feiwel and Friends
Publication Date: February 2nd, 2016
Format: Hardcover, 400 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"The enchantment continues...

The universe of the Lunar Chronicles holds stories - and secrets - that are wondrous, vicious, and romantic. How did Cinder first arrive in New Beijing? How did the brooding soldier Wolf transform from young man to killer? When did Princess Winter and the palace guard Jacin realize their destinies? With nine stories - five of which have never before been published - and an exclusive never-before-seen excerpt from Marissa Meyer's upcoming novel, Heartless, about the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, Stars Above is essential for fans of the bestselling and beloved Lunar Chronicles."

Even if I wasn't addicted to this world and needed to read all that I can get my hands on, all the new stories! Oh, and rumors of a royal wedding in one! Oh stars!

Jane and the Waterloo Map by Stephanie Barron
Published by: Plume
Publication Date: February 2nd, 2016
Format: Hardcover, 416 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Jane Austen turns sleuth in this delightful Regency-era mystery

November, 1815. The Battle of Waterloo has come and gone, leaving the British economy in shreds; Henry Austen, high-flying banker, is about to declare bankruptcy—dragging several of his brothers down with him. The crisis destroys Henry’s health, and Jane flies to his London bedside, believing him to be dying. While she’s there, the chaplain to His Royal Highness the Prince Regent invites Jane to tour Carlton House, the Prince’s fabulous London home. The chaplain is a fan of Jane’s books, and during the tour he suggests she dedicate her next novel—Emma—to HRH, whom she despises.

However, before she can speak to HRH, Jane stumbles upon a body—sprawled on the carpet in the Regent’s library. The dying man, Colonel MacFarland, was a cavalry hero and a friend of Wellington’s. He utters a single failing phrase: “Waterloo map” . . . and Jane is on the hunt for a treasure of incalculable value and a killer of considerable cunning."

Um, yes please! Anything Austen if you don't mind.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Alice in Wonderland, Heartless, Jane and the Waterloo Map, Jane Austen, Marissa Meyer, Mystery, Short Story, Stars Above, Stephanie Barron, The Lunar Chronicles, Tuesday Tomorrow

Heartless, The Parasol Protectorate Book 4 by Gail Carriger
Published by: Bloomsbury
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Paperback, 400 Pages
Rating: ★★★★
To Buy
After the to-do with the Templars, Alexia is back with her husband in the land of connubial bliss. She has even reached an entente with the vampires so that they'll stop trying to kill her and her unborn child. The plus side of the arrangement is that she gets to see a lot more of Lord Akeldama, the downside is that technically she's living in his second best closet while claiming to be residing next door. Which does get a mite complicated when her sister shows up and demands to stay with them. Apparently Alexia's family can't take their daughter being a suffragette... even if the other one is eight months pregnant by a werewolf and living with vampires they must maintain their middle class standards. Exceptions cannot be allowed. But Alexia can't have her sister residing with a pack of werewolves while she's snoozing next door! She must also maintain propriety.

On top of these minor inconveniences, the wolves aren't liking living in town and then there's poor Biffy. Biffy isn't taking to his new life of being a wolf. He lacks control, which can only be restrained by the touch of Alexia. Between the tea, the witty repartee and the ashamed Biffy, there is something afoot in London. The ghosts have started threatening the Queen. Or warning of a threat... the ghosts aren't really being very specific about the threat or where the threat originates from or if there's some evil invention involved even. Wouldn't it be nice to get a simply worded warning with no vagaries and no zombie porcupines thank you very much. But even if all these problems are resolved before the birth, what exactly is being born? The Vampires and the Templars where both scared, and that can't be a good sign.

I have had much too and fro with my friends about this book. Some are all happy, others are dissatisfied. Personally, I'm of the camp where I was personally satisfied, with one caveat, but I am willing to see why there are those who where dissatisfied. There really wasn't much action or plot to this story. It was more a comedy of manners with more dirigibles than ever before. There was a lot of witty banter, a lot of Lord Akeldama (which was seriously lacking in the previous volumes), not enough of the Madame Lefoux I know and love and a poor Biffy. Which I personally think was enough. But the ghosts and their dire warnings seemed to hint about some big conspiracy, some huge world altering emergency, and there plot seemed to just fade like the vabors they resemble. There was follow through, and what they did warn of did occur, but by the time it came it fell flat. If something is set up so wonderfully and has the feeling of a good Victorian mystery in the vein of Wilkie Collins, please don't let that urgency fade. This for me was a small aside, something I could live with because I was so engrossed in the book. Let's get to my problem though...

I will not say why, how or who but I will say what. The Octomaton. This creation just about jumped the shark for me. Picture a Victorian Man in stripy swimsuit and a mechanical shark instead of The Foz please. It was too over the top. A giant metal octopus killing machine of steel and fire set to destroy vampires. Ok, cool idea, kind of, it's just there was another loony who had the same idea... and yes, I'm talking about Dr. Arliss Loveless in the misguided reboot of Wild Wild West, I apologize in advance for getting the Will Smith song in your head, it just can't be avoided.

So, yeah, in his evilness with the mutton chops and spidery goatee, I will admit, I find Kenneth Branagh kind of sexy, the same way I do Wes Bentley as Seneca Crane in The Hunger Games. That's my issue. The book's issue is that the Octomaton is his freakin' spider death machine. There is no other way to view it. This tacky kitsch movie kept intruding onto my lovely little world of the Parasol Protectorate. I cannot forgive this bizarre breach of a world I love. Yes it's not EXACTLY the same, but it's not EXACTLY different either.

This Octomaton destroyed the climax of the book and if it wasn't for my enjoyment up until then and a sweet denouement, then I might be one of my friends saying that this series is over for me. I won't say that. I love this series, and Wild Wild West intrusion and all, I'll keep on loving it. Plus, the hint of what Alexia's baby is... tantalizing in the extreme. Timeless can't come soon enough for me.

Moste Importante Steampunkery:
Ironically, because of my dislike of it, the Octomaton was the most steampunk gadget in this book. Ah, the double standards. But it was mechanical, and did shoot fire and did have the feeling of a cyberman in Victorian London, but for all that, it was moste importante steampunkery.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 2 comments  

Labels: Alexia Tarabotti, Biffy, Dr. Arliss Loveless, Gail Carriger, Heartless, Kenneth Branagh, Lord Akeldama, Lord Maccon, Octomaton, Templars, Timeless, Wild Wild West, Will Smith

Heartless, The Parasol Protectorate Book 4 by Gail Carriger
Published by: Bloomsbury
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Paperback, 400 Pages
Rating: ★★★★
To Buy
After the to-do with the Templars, Alexia is back with her husband in the land of connubial bliss. She has even reached an entente with the vampires so that they'll stop trying to kill her and her unborn child. The plus side of the arrangement is that she gets to see a lot more of Lord Akeldama, the downside is that technically she's living in his second best closet while claiming to be residing next door. Which does get a mite complicated when her sister shows up and demands to stay with them. Apparently Alexia's family can't take their daughter being a suffragette... even if the other one is eight months pregnant by a werewolf and living with vampires they must maintain their middle class standards. Exceptions cannot be allowed. But Alexia can't have her sister residing with a pack of werewolves while she's snoozing next door! She must also maintain propriety. Plus, the wolves aren't liking living in town and then there's poor Biffy. Biffy isn't taking to his new life being a wolf. He lacks control, which can only be restrained by the touch of Alexia. Between the tea, the witty repartee and the ashamed Biffy, there is something afoot in London. The ghosts have started threatening the Queen. Or warning of a threat... the ghosts aren't really being very specific about the threat or where the threat originates from or if there's some evil invention involved. Wouldn't it be nice to get a simply worded warning with no vagaries and no zombie porcupines thank you very much. But even if all these problems are resolved before the birth, what exactly is being born? The Vampires and the Templars where both scared, and that can't be a good sign.

I have had much too and fro with my friends about this book. Some are all happy, others are dissatisfied. Personally, I'm of the camp where I was personally satisfied, with one caveat, but I am willing to see why there are those dissatisfied. There really wasn't much action or plot to this story. It was more a comedy of manners with more dirigibles than ever before. There was a lot of witty banter, a lot of Lord Akeldama (which was seriously lacking in the previous volume), not enough of the Madame Lefoux I know and love and a poor Biffy. Which I think was enough. But the ghosts and their dire warnings seemed to hint about some big conspiracy, some huge world altering emergency, and there plot seemed to just fade like the vabors they resemble. There was follow through, and what they did warn of did occur, but by the time it came it fell flat. If something is set up so wonderfully and has the feeling of a good Victorian mystery in the vein of Wilkie Collins, please don't let that urgency fade. This for me was a small aside, something I could live with because I was so engrossed in the book. Let's get to my problem though...

I will not say why, how or who but I will say what. The Octomaton. This creation just about jumped the shark for me. Picture a Victorian Man in stripy swimsuit and a mechanical shark instead of the Foz please. It was too over the top. A giant metal octopus killing machine of steel and fire set to destroy vampires. Ok, cool idea, kind of, it's just there was another loony who had the same idea... and yes, I'm talking about Dr. Arliss Loveless in the misguided reboot of Wild Wild West, I apologize in advance for getting the Will Smith song in your head, it just can't be avoided.

So, yeah, in his evilness with the mutton chops and spidery goatee, I will admit, I find Kenneth Branagh kind of sexy. That's my issue. The book's issue is that the Octomaton is his freakin' spider death machine. There is no other way to view it. This tacky kitsch movie kept intruding onto my lovely little world of the Parasol Protectorate. I cannot forgive this bizarre breach of a world I love. Yes it's not EXACTLY the same, but it's not EXACTLY different either.

This Octomaton destroyed the climax of the book and if it wasn't for my enjoyment up until then and a sweet denouement, then I might be one of my friends saying that this series is over for me. I won't say that. I love this series, and Wild Wild West intrusion and all, I'll keep on loving it. Plus, the hint of what Alexia's baby is... tantalizing in the extreme. Timeless can't come soon enough for me.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Alexia Tarabotti, Biffy, Dr. Arliss Loveless, Gail Carriger, Heartless, Kenneth Branagh, Lord Akeldama, Lord Maccon, Octomaton, Templars, Timeless, Wild Wild West, Will Smith

Heartless by Gail Carriger
Published by: Orbit
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Paperback, 400 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Lady Alexia Maccon, soulless, is at it again, only this time the trouble is not her fault. When a mad ghost threatens the queen, Alexia is on the case, following a trail that leads her deep into her husband's past. Top that off with a sister who has joined the suffragette movement (shocking!), Madame Lefoux's latest mechanical invention, and a plague of zombie porcupines and Alexia barely has time to remember she happens to be eight months pregnant.

Will Alexia manage to determine who is trying to kill Queen Victoria before it is too late? Is it the vampires again or is there a traitor lurking about in wolf's clothing? And what, exactly, has taken up residence in Lord Akeldama's second best closet?"

FINALLY! I have been impatiently awaiting the newest Parasol Protectorate book and now it's finally here. Pay no attention if I am MIA, you know what I'll be doing.

Withering Tights by Louise Rennison
Published by: HarperTeen
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Hardcover, 288Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Wow. This is it. This is me growing up. On my own, going to Performing Arts College. This is good-bye, Tallulah, you long, gangly thing, and hellooooo, Lullah, star of stage.

Tallulah Casey is ready to find her inner artist. And some new mates. And maybe a boy or two or three.

The ticket to achieving these lofty goals? Enrolling in a summer performing arts program, of course. She's bound for the wilds of Yorkshire Dales—eerily similar to the windswept moors of Wuthering Heights. Tallulah expects new friends, less parental interference, and lots of drama. Acting? Tights? Moors? Check, check, check.

What she doesn't expect is feeling like a tiny bat's barging around in her mouth when she has her first snog.

Bestselling author Louise Rennison returns with her trademark wit, a hilarious new cast, and a brand-new cheeky heroine who is poised to discover plenty of opportunities for (mis)adventure!"

I just adored Louise Rennison previous series, Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging. Here we have a new series, and it's about acting! Louise always excelled at the plays and theatrical theatrics with Georgia Nicholson, and there's no reason to doubt that she's lost the magic.

Before Versailles by Karleen Koen
Published by: Crown
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Hardcover, 480 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Louis XIV is one of the best-known monarchs ever to grace the French throne. But what was he like as a young man—the man before Versailles?

After the death of his prime minister, Cardinal Mazarin, twenty-two-year-old Louis steps into governing France. He’s still a young man, but one who, as king, willfully takes everything he can get—including his brother’s wife. As the love affair between Louis and Princess Henriette burns, it sets the kingdom on the road toward unmistakable scandal and conflict with the Vatican. Every woman wants him. He must face what he is willing to sacrifice for love.

But there are other problems lurking outside the chateau of Fontainebleau: a boy in an iron mask has been seen in the woods, and the king’s finance minister, Nicolas Fouquet, has proven to be more powerful than Louis ever thought—a man who could make a great ally or become a dangerous foe . . .

Meticulously researched and vividly brought to life by the gorgeous prose of Karleen Koen, Before Versailles dares to explore the forces that shaped an iconic king and determined the fate of an empire."

I've become a France addict, but I don't need nor want a cure.

The Map of Time by Felix J. Palma
Published by: Atria
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Hardcover, 624 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"THE PHENOMENAL INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER Set in Victorian London with char-acters real and imagined, The Map of Time is a page-turner that boasts a triple play of intertwined plots in which a skeptical H. G. Wells is called upon to investigate purported incidents of time travel and to save lives and literary classics, including Dracula and The Time Machine, from being wiped from existence. What happens if we change history? Félix J. Palma explores this question in The Map of Time, weaving a historical fantasy as imaginative as it is exciting—a story full of love and adventure that transports readers to a haunting setting in Victorian London for their own taste of time travel."

Looks like some more Steampunky goodness this week.

Bedlam: The Further Secret Adventures of Charlotte Bronte by Laura Joh Rowland
Published by: Overlook
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Paperback, 352 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Set in 1851, three years after the events in The Secret Adventures of Charlotte Brontë, Rowland's fast-paced second Charlotte Brontë adventure continues to transform the shy author of Jane Eyre into an action heroine. Still pining for John Slade, the rugged spy from the first book whose marriage proposal she refused, Charlotte is stunned to come across John under restraints in Bedlam, the notorious London hospital for the insane. The last she knew John was in Russia on a secret mission. When Charlotte learns the police suspect that John is the Whitechapel Ripper, who's killed and mutilated three prostitutes, she sets out to prove him innocent, despite John's spymaster telling her that he betrayed Britain in Russia. The less than imaginative use of an ur–Jack the Ripper may disappoint those expecting the depth and sophistication of the author's series set in medieval Japan (The Cloud Pavilion, etc.). This historical thriller will likely appeal more to romance fans than Brontë enthusiasts."

The first book in this series made a splash a few years back and now the second installment is in paperback!

Bath Tangle by Georgette Heyer
Published by: Sourcebooks
Publication Date: June 28th, 2011
Format: Paperback, 368 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Lady Serena Carlow is an acknowledged beauty, but she's got a temper as fiery as her head of red hair. When her father dies unexpectedly, Serena discovers to her horror that she has been left a ward of Ivo Barrasford, marquis of Rotherham, a man whom Serena once jilted and who now has the power to give or withhold his consent to any marriage she might contemplate. With her father's heir eager to take over his inheritance--and Serena's lifelong home--she and her lovely young stepmother, Fanny, decide to move to Bath, where Serena makes an odd new friend and discovers an old love, Major Hector Kirkby. Before long, Serena, Fanny, Kirkby, and Rotherham are entangled in a welter of misunderstood emotions, mistaken engagements, and misdirected love.

Georgette Heyer's genius has always been in creating memorable characters, then placing them in a comedy of manners that is absolutely true to the Regency period. Bath Tangle is a delightful romp through the haute ton of early-19th-century England, and the battling, passionate, meant-for-each-other Ivo and Serena are one of her most successful romantic duos."

Sourcebooks continues with their lovely reissues of Georgette Heyer Regency Romances. Sigh.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 1 comments  

Labels: Bath Tangle, Bedlam, Before Versailles, Charlotte Bronte, Felix J. Palma, Gail Carriger, Georgette Heyer, Heartless, Karleen Koen, Louise Rennison, The Map of Time, Withering Tights