strange and random happenstance

Death in the Floating City by Tasha Alexander
Published by: Minotaur
Publication Date: October 16th, 2012
Format: Hardcover, 320 Pages
Rating: ★★★★★
To Buy

As a child there is always that one person whom you are thrust into a relationship with because of your parents. The greatest joy of growing up is that there comes a time when you no longer have to associate with them and can relegate them to your past. Which is exactly what Emily did with Emma Callum. Emma ran off with an Italian Duke and Emily never thought of her again. Until Emma reached out for help. She had heard of Emily's success in solving crimes and is in desperate need of her assistance. Stranded in Venice Emma doesn't even speak Italian and her father-in-law Conte Barozzi has gone and gotten himself murdered and her husband Paolo is missing. If there was ever a time for Emily's help it is now. But even murder can't fully change someone and as Emma flirts with Emily's husband Colin instead of answering their questions Emily wonders if it was wise to help her old nemesis. Though Emily and her husband are professionals and they will do the job asked of them despite the hindrance of Emma. Their first clue is a ring that was found on the Conte's body and a historian is needed.

Luckily when they arrived in Venice a note was waiting at their hotel from a local scholar turned bookseller inquiring after the ring. Emily is hoping Signore Caravello can help answer a few questions as to the ring's provenance. With his magnifying glass he finds two initials next to the maker's mark, BB and NV. Because the ring was found in the possession of a Barozzi, it's assumed that this belonged to some relative. Emily, now with the help of Singnore Caravello's daughter Donata, searches for this relative and finds Besina, who lived in the 15th century. Yet their one hope of confirming her as the ring's owner is dashed when the painting that just might have shown her wearing it is vandalized. What's more the Barozzis sworn enemies, the Vendelinos, swear that the ring is theirs and has been missing for centuries. Soon Emily and Colin are juggling not just a murder, but valuable missing books, a possibly forgotten legacy, a medium whose reputation was destroyed, the Conte's probable mistress and her jealous husband, and most disturbing of all, a person dressed as a plague doctor following Emily through the canals of Venice. Yet the crucial question is, can they solve the crime in the present by finding out what happen to Besina all those years ago?

There is a plethora of books set in Venice, and the truth is the setting doesn't make the book but a well written book can make the setting, forever linking the two in your mind. Death in the Floating City perfectly fits into the pantheon of books set in Venice that were instant classics for me, from Daphne Du Maurier's Don't Look Now to Mary Robinette Kowal's Valour and Vanity to Susanna Clark's Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. These are all books that show Venice as imperfect yet lead you to fall in love with the city despite it's issues. I'm not talking about the fact that it's sinking into the seas, but the Italian way of life as it was back in the day. As I think of it in my mind as women's rights, marriages, and whores oh my. Courtesans, mistresses, and illegitimate children were all par for the course in Venice. What's so fascinating though is the way Tasha writes so that there's our modern POV then there's Emily's POV, which is Victorian but constantly working to break the shackles and think more modern, and then the Venetian POV which is far more fluid and modern, but that fluidity and the resultant issues drives the plot forward. It's literally a culture clash at it's most dramatic and I couldn't put it down.

What really drove the narrative in this installment was that the secondary story instead of being journals or letters that are concurrent with our story was instead the story of Besina and her ill fated love to Nicolo Vendelino way back in 1489. At first I was prejudiced against this story because being set in Italy and the couple in question being from warring houses I was sure this would be Tasha's take on Romeo and Juliet and personally, that isn't a favorite play of mine. Yes, it's a classic, I mean, it's Shakespeare after all, but not all Shakespeare floats my boat. Oh how wrong I was to compare it to that play of the Bard's. This secondary storyline soon became my favorite part of Death in the Floating City and I had to restrain myself from jumping ahead to see how it played out. The best way I can describe the story of Besina and Nicolo is that it's like Sarah Dunant decided to write her version of Drake Carne and Morwenna Chynoweth's star-crossed romance from Poldark. Much as with the two young lovers on Poldark, my heart was continually breaking, hoping for Besina to break free and be with Nicolo. Their story is tragic and heartbreaking and achingly perfect. Because, if I'm being honest, much like how Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet, sometimes perfection isn't a happily ever after.

Even though my attachment to Besina and Nicolo is the reason I lost my heart to this book I can not discount all the other awesomeness contained within the pages of Death in the Floating City. The menacing plague doctor like the "child" in the raincoat in Don't Look Now is haunting, but that's just the tip of the iceberg! There's Caterina Brexiano, the maligned medium! There's Brother Giovanni with his knowledge of books and his hunt for the truth. As for the books? Oh dear me, I swoon at the valuable books and illuminated manuscripts contained within these pages. But the vapors don't stop there. The gorgeous illuminated manuscripts contain secrets not just in their detailed artwork but on the very pages they were written. Secrets hidden in art? This is Lady Emily's version of The Da Vinci Code, but next level, because instead of being bogged down with religiosity we are on the hunt for the story of Besina and Nicolo! A love lost to history recovered! This book didn't just make me want to go to Venice, it made me want to delve back into my art history studies. Oh, I do love a good illuminated manuscript. If only they all held such secrets as the ones Tasha has dreamed up!

It should be a truth universally acknowledged that we all have in our past some frenemy. Imagine the theme song to Veronica Mars playing here... While Emily never considered Emma her friend, she was in one of those situations where friendship was forced on her and it turned sour, or shattered like her doll's face when Emma destroyed it. Whether it's similar to Emily's case or just a friend from childhood that proved themselves a complete and utter two-faced bitch, there's someone in everyone's past whom we'd rather avoid but some lingering sentimentality, AKA the sign that you are the better person, makes you willing to help if they reach out a hand. That is the situation Emily faces. While there is that deep temptation to just laugh from afar, something that social media makes so easy in this day and age, there's the other, more juicy feeling that you can prove to them that you are the better person. You hope that your help will finally awaken some kind of gratitude in them, but as is often the case, as Emily sees, they are just the same person but older. You can see them more clearly for who they are and you pity instead of hate them. But still, reaching out that hand and being the better person? Priceless.

Now here's a question I have for the floor. Hopefully you have been encouraged by Alexander Autumn to pick up one or all of Tasha's wonderful Lady Emily series and I want your expert opinion. Is this the first time that Emily's writing is shown to be definitely written from a future date for an audience? Because Emily has a throw away line about how her identification of NV would prove to be entirely inaccurate, proving this was written at a later date. Also at the same time she says "as you will see" where the you is us, meaning, definite knowledge of an audience. Now I don't have any problem with this, seeing as an author that Tasha greatly admires, Elizabeth Peters, used such devices in her Amelia Peabody series which is another series I love. In fact, there's a part of me, a part that will reference but will not spoil the ending of this book, that noticed a certain resolution that mirrors an event that takes place at the end of the sixth installment in that series, The Last Camel Died at Noon, that makes me think, Tasha did this on purpose. If she did this for that very reason, that's cunning. But also if you think about it, this is the first case that Emily and Colin take that doesn't literally land on their doorstep, so that could have been why there's a change as well... either way, I'll be waiting to see if this writing quirk happens again. Onwards to the next book!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Alexander Autumn, Amelia Peabody, Death in the Floating City, Don't Look Now, Elizabeth Peters, Poldark, Romeo and Juliet, Tasha Alexander, The Da Vinci Code, Venice, Veronica Mars

Death in the Floating City by Tasha Alexander
Published by: Minotaur
Publication Date: October 16th, 2012
Format: Hardcover, 320 Pages
Rating: ★★★★★
To Buy

As a child there is always that one person whom you are thrust into a relationship with because of your parents. The greatest joy of growing up is that there comes a time when you no longer have to associate with them and can relegate them to your past. Which is exactly what Emily did with Emma Callum. Emma ran off with an Italian Duke and Emily never thought of her again. Until Emma reached out for help. She had heard of Emily's success in solving crimes and is in desperate need of her assistance. Stranded in Venice Emma doesn't even speak Italian and her father-in-law Conte Barozzi has gone and gotten himself murdered and her husband Paolo is missing. If there was ever a time for Emily's help it is now. But even murder can't fully change someone and as Emma flirts with Emily's husband Colin instead of answering their questions Emily wonders if it was wise to help her old nemesis. Though Emily and her husband are professionals and they will do the job asked of them despite the hindrance of Emma. Their first clue is a ring that was found on the Conte's body and a historian is needed.

Luckily when they arrived in Venice a note was waiting at their hotel from a local scholar turned bookseller inquiring after the ring. Emily is hoping Signore Caravello can help answer a few questions as to the ring's provenance. With his magnifying glass he finds two initials next to the maker's mark, BB and NV. Because the ring was found in the possession of a Barozzi, it's assumed that this belonged to some relative. Emily, now with the help of Singnore Caravello's daughter Donata, searches for this relative and finds Besina, who lived in the 15th century. Yet their one hope of confirming her as the ring's owner is dashed when the painting that just might have shown her wearing it is vandalized. What's more the Barozzis sworn enemies, the Vendelinos, swear that the ring is theirs and has been missing for centuries. Soon Emily and Colin are juggling not just a murder, but valuable missing books, a possibly forgotten legacy, a medium whose reputation was destroyed, the Conte's probable mistress and her jealous husband, and most disturbing of all, a person dressed as a plague doctor following Emily through the canals of Venice. Yet the crucial question is, can they solve the crime in the present by finding out what happen to Besina all those years ago?

There is a plethora of books set in Venice, and the truth is the setting doesn't make the book but a well written book can make the setting, forever linking the two in your mind. Death in the Floating City perfectly fits into the pantheon of books set in Venice that were instant classics for me, from Daphne Du Maurier's Don't Look Now to Mary Robinette Kowal's Valour and Vanity to Susanna Clark's Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. These are all books that show Venice as imperfect yet lead you to fall in love with the city despite it's issues. I'm not talking about the fact that it's sinking into the seas, but the Italian way of life as it was back in the day. As I think of it in my mind as women's rights, marriages, and whores oh my. Courtesans, mistresses, and illegitimate children were all par for the course in Venice. What's so fascinating though is the way Tasha writes so that there's our modern POV then there's Emily's POV, which is Victorian but constantly working to break the shackles and think more modern, and then the Venetian POV which is far more fluid and modern, but that fluidity and the resultant issues drives the plot forward. It's literally a culture clash at it's most dramatic and I couldn't put it down.

What really drove the narrative in this installment was that the secondary story instead of being journals or letters that are concurrent with our story was instead the story of Besina and her ill fated love to Nicolo Vendelino way back in 1489. At first I was prejudiced against this story because being set in Italy and the couple in question being from warring houses I was sure this would be Tasha's take on Romeo and Juliet and personally, that isn't a favorite play of mine. Yes, it's a classic, I mean, it's Shakespeare after all, but not all Shakespeare floats my boat. Oh how wrong I was to compare it to that play of the Bard's. This secondary storyline soon became my favorite part of Death in the Floating City and I had to restrain myself from jumping ahead to see how it played out. The best way I can describe the story of Besina and Nicolo is that it's like Sarah Dunant decided to write her version of Drake Carne and Morwenna Chynoweth's star-crossed romance from Poldark. Much as with the two young lovers on Poldark, my heart was continually breaking, hoping for Besina to break free and be with Nicolo. Their story is tragic and heartbreaking and achingly perfect. Because, if I'm being honest, much like how Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet, sometimes perfection isn't a happily ever after.

Even though my attachment to Besina and Nicolo is the reason I lost my heart to this book I can not discount all the other awesomeness contained within the pages of Death in the Floating City. The menacing plague doctor like the "child" in the raincoat in Don't Look Now is haunting, but that's just the tip of the iceberg! There's Caterina Brexiano, the maligned medium! There's Brother Giovanni with his knowledge of books and his hunt for the truth. As for the books? Oh dear me, I swoon at the valuable books and illuminated manuscripts contained within these pages. But the vapors don't stop there. The gorgeous illuminated manuscripts contain secrets not just in their detailed artwork but on the very pages they were written. Secrets hidden in art? This is Lady Emily's version of The Da Vinci Code, but next level, because instead of being bogged down with religiosity we are on the hunt for the story of Besina and Nicolo! A love lost to history recovered! This book didn't just make me want to go to Venice, it made me want to delve back into my art history studies. Oh, I do love a good illuminated manuscript. If only they all held such secrets as the ones Tasha has dreamed up!

It should be a truth universally acknowledged that we all have in our past some frenemy. Imagine the theme song to Veronica Mars playing here... While Emily never considered Emma her friend, she was in one of those situations where friendship was forced on her and it turned sour, or shattered like her doll's face when Emma destroyed it. Whether it's similar to Emily's case or just a friend from childhood that proved themselves a complete and utter two-faced bitch, there's someone in everyone's past whom we'd rather avoid but some lingering sentimentality, AKA the sign that you are the better person, makes you willing to help if they reach out a hand. That is the situation Emily faces. While there is that deep temptation to just laugh from afar, something that social media makes so easy in this day and age, there's the other, more juicy feeling that you can prove to them that you are the better person. You hope that your help will finally awaken some kind of gratitude in them, but as is often the case, as Emily sees, they are just the same person but older. You can see them more clearly for who they are and you pity instead of hate them. But still, reaching out that hand and being the better person? Priceless.

Now here's a question I have for the floor. Hopefully you have been encouraged by Alexander Autumn to pick up one or all of Tasha's wonderful Lady Emily series and I want your expert opinion. Is this the first time that Emily's writing is shown to be definitely written from a future date for an audience? Because Emily has a throw away line about how her identification of NV would prove to be entirely inaccurate, proving this was written at a later date. Also at the same time she says "as you will see" where the you is us, meaning, definite knowledge of an audience. Now I don't have any problem with this, seeing as an author that Tasha greatly admires, Elizabeth Peters, used such devices in her Amelia Peabody series which is another series I love. In fact, there's a part of me, a part that will reference but will not spoil the ending of this book, that noticed a certain resolution that mirrors an event that takes place at the end of the sixth installment in that series, The Last Camel Died at Noon, that makes me think, Tasha did this on purpose. If she did this for that very reason, that's cunning. But also if you think about it, this is the first case that Emily and Colin take that doesn't literally land on their doorstep, so that could have been why there's a change as well... either way, I'll be waiting to see if this writing quirk happens again. Onwards to the next book!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Alexander Autumn, Amelia Peabody, Death in the Floating City, Don't Look Now, Elizabeth Peters, Poldark, Romeo and Juliet, Tasha Alexander, The Da Vinci Code, Venice, Veronica Mars

And Only to Deceive by Tasha Alexander
Published by: Harper
Publication Date: 2005
Format: Paperback, 321 Pages
Rating: ★★★★★
To Buy

Lady Emily is the widow of the Viscount Philip of Ashton, the husband everyone wanted. It was a very convenient marriage all around. Emily needed to get away from her domineering mother and Philip had the credentials to appease said mother and viewed Emily as the apex of beauty, his Kallista. So he asked for Emily's hand and was accepted and promptly went off to Africa and died, leaving her comfortable and independent. Who could ask for anything more? But now Emily is ready to shed her mourning after two long years sequestered away from society. What little society she has been allowed consists of her best friend Ivy, or friends of her husband, like Colin Hargreaves, or her mother. Who is trying to convince her that she should marry. AGAIN! Didn't the marriage to Philip count? Sure he died and they had no children, but the statues she attained should be enough to keep her mother at bay for at least one lifetime. Being a widow is liberating! Why would Emily give that up to be the property of another man she barely knows?

Emily's removal from society has made her realize she can do whatever she wants under the guise of trauma. She can sit in her husband's study and drink port and learn Greek and go to the museum and forge a life for herself that doesn't require a man! Yet she finds, to her astonishment, that her husband was really a fascinating man. A true scholar with a mind teaming with knowledge and a love of art. A man who truly loved her and whom she just thought of as a way out of an intolerable situation. He loved her, yet she didn't love him... then. Following in his steps, learning about his interests and passions, she slowly starts to fall for her dead husband. If only her husband where still alive, think of the conversations they could have because of the new learned woman she has become thanks to the position he gave her. But if, by some miracle, he did return, would he approve of the woman she's become? Would she be willing to accept his flaws, even if they are illegal? But most importantly, how would he view her bevy of suitors?

With Emily and Philip you have a truly interesting love story. Not the typical boy meets girl and then after some problems, they live happily ever after with Emily's mom being a good foil during their courtship. Here we have boy meets girl, they marry, girl loses boy and years later falls in love with who she thinks he might have been. We get to experience all the joys and sorrows of two people falling in love, but simultaneously know that it is doomed. Philip was in love with a woman he put on a pedestal and literally made his goddess, Kallista, and Emily fell in love with a past that never was. Yet Tasha strings us along, making us see the romantic what ifs without initially focusing on what the truth of their relationship would have been given societal constraints. Leading you on, building this epic and tragic love story that you are so completely committed to you totally ignore the fact that it would never work. I was hoping against hope that by some miracle Philip would be alive and that these two crazy kids would make their relationship work.

But the realist in me knew it wasn't to be, and the doubt even seeps into the cracks Emily has been ignoring. The fact that her husband might have been morally dubious is just a catalyst for her to actually look at the reality of her situation. Philip never knew Emily. He saw her as this beautiful creature, renaming her Kallista to be his romantic ideal. He loved the idea of her, much like he loved his art. She's a statue of loveliness to him. But could he love this statue if it came to life? After his death she changed, she became self-reliant, knowledgeable, all the things Victorian women weren't supposed to be. I don't think Philip would be able to rectify his image of her with the learned woman she has become, much less Emily being able to rectify the scholar of her imagination with the big game hunter he was. If he had never gone and died in Africa he'd expect Emily to be a typical Victorian wife. Seen, not heard. Beautiful and his most prized possession. Because two people can easily be desperately in love with each other when they have no idea who the other person is.

While much of the book deals with the heartbreak of falling for someone after they're gone, there is other, more familiar DNA that Tasha mines for Emily's other suitors. I can not but agree with the spot on quote on the back of my paperback edition that says "[h]ad Jane Austen written The Da Vinci Code, she may well have come up with this elegant novel." It's not just the secrets of antiquities that bring to mind Dan Brown's bestseller, or the effortless writing reminiscent of Austen that makes it feel like this book sprang fully formed from Tasha's head like Athena did from Zeus's, but Philip's two friends who are vying for Emily's heart. Or at least her hand. On the one hand we have Colin Hargreaves, with the wavy hair and stoic demeanor of a 1996 Colin Firth, he's a bit of a mystery, but Philip trusted him and therefore Emily does, to an extent. On the other hand we have Andrew Palmer, a delightful conversationalist, a bit of a gossip, and a total flirt, but such a hansom flirt. Yes folks, it's the Pride and Prejudice of it all with Colin being our Darcy and Andrew being our Wickham.

And much like Austen's classic, "[o]ne has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it.'' There's a reason Austen tropes work, they are classic. Which is why there are countless retellings and reimaginings, but Tasha does all those read-a-likes one better, because this love triangle isn't the crux of the book. She takes one of the most famous plots ever written and makes it a subplot. She's not out to rewrite Pride and Prejudice, she's out to write her own story, create her own legacy. This book is about lost love, art theft, forgeries, antiquities, education, societal constraints, with a little Jane Austen thrown in. This is why I'm almost of the mind to just delete this paragraphs I've just labored over because while there is this kernel of Austen by just saying that people are going to have certain expectations. They're going to think it's Victorian Bridget Jones or some such nonsense that is in no way what this book is. This is the problem of being a reviewer, you can see what it's like but also what it is on it's own and my purpose in writing this review is not only to discuss my feelings of what I've read but to get you to pick up this book. PICK IT UP! Just go in without preconceptions.

Because this book literally has so much fun twisting and turning what you'd expect from this time period. While Tasha has today's sensibilities she clearly states in her afterward that she wrote it from the point of view of Victorian society, and then as a reader you take great joy as she finds all the loopholes and makes something that is both of it's time and of our time. What I took great glee in was all the art in the book, from classic Greek statuary and vases to the Impressionists working in Paris while Emily was there. While today we view the Impressionists as the greatest artists of that time, at the time they were frowned upon. I felt like for once all those art history classes I took were paying off! But more than that it's the counterpoint of a woman's life proscribed by Victorian mourning with that of the artistic scene in Paris at the end of the 1800s. Constriction versus liberation. Which is very much a theme throughout the book. While Emily is under so many strictures, at the same time she is given a liberty by her status that would never have been conferred on her had Philip survived. Being a widow of means is literally the only way women could have freedom in the Victorian era. To see Emily embrace all that that means is the greatest of joys. It makes you realize how much better we have it and that we need to embrace all that we have because we could have it far worse.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Alexander Autumn, And Only to Deceive, Colin Firth, Colin Hargreaves, Darcy, Greek, Jane Austen, Lady Emily, Pride and Prejudice, Tasha Alexander, The Da Vinci Code, The Impressionists, Victorian, Wickham, Widow

Timeline by Michael Crichton
Published by: Alfred A. Knopf
Publication Date: November 16th, 1999
Format: Hardcover, 444 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Robert Doniger and his company ITC make components for MRI machines. Or at least that's what everyone thinks. ITC though has a vast portfolio of different investments, one of them is an archaeological site in the south of France on the Dordogne River. The site is lead by Professor Edward Johnston and his team; André Marek, a man who wishes he lived in the period he studies, Chris Hughes, who is like a son to Johnston and specializes in studying mills, Kate Erickson, an architect student who has transferred to the study of history, and David Stern, their resident geek. The site is thrown into uproar when a representative from ITC comes to do the yearly inspection of the site and makes references to things that the researchers themselves don't even know about. Johnston demands an audience with Doniger and returns with the representative to New Mexico.

Days go by and Professor Johnston isn't in communication with his team when in the ruins of the monastery they find a note from him saying that he is in 1357 and needs help. Everyone thinks it's a joke until all the tests prove that it is legit. Marek contacts ITC to question them about this development and he is told to pack his bags and pick three other team members, they are to be on a plane to New Mexico in the next hour. With Chris, Kate, and David all onboard, they are let into the big secret that ITC has been carefully guarding. ITC has developed time travel, of a sort. Really it's traveling to different times in parallel dimensions, but that is how they knew so much about the site in southern France, they'd been there when the castles weren't ruins; and due to a little accident, Professor Johnston is there now and has no way back. ITC thought it prudent to send back the only people who know the site and know what the Professor would be doing, aka his team. ITC convinces them to go on this rescue mission, but they cleverly omit the dangers and risks that the team will face and the fact that not everyone might come back alive or at all.

By 1999 I was a true Michael Crichton junky. I had powered through his whole back catalog and aside from a few blips here and there I adored every single volume. Sadly, having read all his books I could do nothing but re-read my favorites while waiting for the next book to come out. And when Timeline came out in November of 1999 I didn't see it for what it was; the beginning of the end. While two of his future books would come to be my most hated of all Crichton's books, Timeline was the one that started the slide in quality. By all accounts I should have loved this book. It's time travel, it's knights, it's amazing new technology, it's a snooze. I remember struggling through this book. Over a month after I had bought it as I unwrapped my Christmas presents I asked my parents to be excused from going to the relatives for our traditional holiday festivities. I was damned if I would waste more time on this book so I resolved to power through it all Christmas day so that at the end of it I could revel in my new books and move on. I curled up on my couch and before my parents even got home I had finally finished Timeline. And in 2004 before the movie came out I struggled through it again. And now, despite my history with this book, I braved it's pages once more and can say that yes, it doesn't improve. Even a decade didn't improve it one little bit, aside from reaffirming my desire to never be transported via beams or lasers. In fact, I think I found Timeline even more annoying this time around.

The overall problem with this book is that it hinges on a faulty premise. There is NO REASON for the grad students to rescue their professor. What's in it for them? Up until his disappearance into the past he's had a total of about two lines and we're supposed to believe that these four students are willing to sacrifice their lives for him? Why? Is he really that awesome? Chris, who views him as a father figure might have some reason, and he's the most hesitant! But other then that there is NO REASON. Stern made the right choice. Stay behind, survive. But the lack of character development isn't just in Professor Johnston, though he is the most obvious. None of the characters are developed in any tangible way. They are astonishingly ignorant and two dimensional, so much so that I have no idea how they even got into grad school. Here's the evil English warlord, here's the female grad student who can be independent, but when a man rescues her she'll swoon and think about marriage and happily ever afters. There is no depth, no development, no reason to root for these characters and hope they make it back to their own time.

The two dimensionality extends into the worldbuilding, as in, here's a cookie cutter Medieval World, go play in it. For all the trash talk of Disney and immersive experiences, I gotta say, I think Disney would do a better job then Doniger and ITC. Disney would at least have a PROPER MAP! I mean, I thought that I had misremembered and that my compass disorientation was because I wasn't paying attention to the included map, but I was wrong! It's the book, not me! At one point the Green Chapel is in the woods to the east about two miles, later it's only a quarter mile to the north? Geographic orientation be damned! Plus how are they getting so easily across the river when there aren't that many boats? Plus all the knights and lords are so basic you can't tell one apart from the other. Plus which castle is which? Their names are bandied about and switched so much that not only is this novel really really flat, but also confusing as hell. It's just adding problems one on top of the other for readers, plus, plus, plus. Plus for the first hundred or so pages, it just made my head hurt.

Re-reading this book after so long I realized it's like a really bad episode of Doctor Who without The Doctor; but not cool like "Blink" but lame like "Love and Monsters." Oh, and give him the worst companions ever, lets say Mickey, Adric, and Peri. So, it's Mickey, Adric, and Peri wandering around and killing people left and right and getting no closer to saving The Doctor because their combined stupidity is so staggering you are blown away. But even if The Doctor wasn't present look at the name of the show, Doctor Who! He is the driving force, much like Professor Johnston should be but isn't. Yes, this book came out in 1999, but the thing is time travel and science fiction already had set expectations for a narrative that had nothing to do with re-launching Doctor Who. The readers of this genre are smart and savvy. We expect the best out of a book we're expending our time on. The thing that struck me most is that this is really time travel for dummies. It's like The Da Vinci Code, written with the masses in mind, not bothering with those readers who might actually have an intellect.

Which brings me to the fact that I am capable of independent thought and therefore I will now poke holes in Crichton's theory of time travel. Can we really call it time travel? He even says it's more like space travel, because you are not going back along your own timeline, but you're crossing over into a parallel dimension that is almost but not quite the same. Which means we get into a paradox of parallel universes. How do they know that they can effect their timeline? If they aren't in their universe how can they A) be sure it's historically accurate and B) get the note from the professor. To tackle A, let's look at the mill. Chris is surprised to see the mill has four not three wheels as he thought. What if the difference between our universe and the one they go to is just that there's one more water wheel? Chris, hard as it may be to believe, might be right. As for B, how exactly did the professor know they were going to find his note for help? He's in another freakin' universe! The fact is small differences in dimensions would really add up which in turn makes the book not add up. Yes, I am probably over thinking this, but I just want it to be better, to be so much more, not Medieval Dan Brown! But I think I have proven beyond a doubt that re-reading Timeline can't magically change what's written.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Archeology, Castles, Christmas, Crichton Celebration, Dan Brown, Disney, Doctor Who, France, Knights, Medieval, Michael Crichton, Paradox, The Da Vinci Code, The Doctor, Time Travel, Timeline, Worldbuilding

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Published by: Crown
Publication Date: June 5th, 2012
Format: Hardcover, 419 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy

Amy Dunne has disappeared and her husband Nick is the prime suspect. Their supposed perfect marriage wasn't all that it appeared. Through Amy's diary we learn that she was the perfect wife and lover and Nick, Nick was dark and sometimes dangerous. She worried for her safety and the safety of their unborn child. Her disappearance makes national headlines because not only is she a beautiful, perfect wife, but her parents based the successful Amazing Amy books on that life, and now Amazing Amy is Missing! But the manhunt that starts on the couple's wedding anniversary is just what Amy wanted. She isn't missing or dead, she knows exactly what she's doing and how Nick is going to pay for every slight he's ever done her.  

Me and run away bestsellers have never mixed. Yet have I ever learned my lesson? No. I keep thinking, this one will be different, this won't be like the joke that was The Da Vinci Code wherein being a Whovian and taking art history made the answers all too obvious. Or even having two brain cells to rub together made it glaringly evident. Oh no, I go ever onward hoping it will be different. And this is how I ended up reading Gone Girl. I vaguely remember my mom enjoying it, and well, it was there on the shelf, so I thought, hey, I do want to see the movie because well, Neil Patrick Harris and Rosamund Pike, so let's give it a try. What works as a two and a half hour movie doesn't work as a book. At all. Seriously, I am baffled as to why anyone would highly rate this book. Proving once again I'm contrary to all trends.

Firstly we are stuck with two unreliable narrators. I mean, just because something works for some authors and is, if executed properly, a nice narrative device, doesn't mean that doubling it makes it doubly good. If you are going to use unreliable narrators, try something unique and fresh, don't use the trope in the most boring way conceivable. And what's the most boring way? Making it a he said she said back and forth that doesn't progress the story but mires it in bitchy people omitting key evidence. I understand that Flynn probably did this on purpose so that we couldn't see what was coming, but, well, using this device to time her revelations so that between the two narrators we could try to figure out the truth, it seemed too contrived. Reveals should come naturally to the story, not be rigorously plotted out so that at page whatever we get this clue and fifty pages later we get another clue. I don't want to see the mechanics of your work, I want to be taken away by your writing.

And the truth of Gone Girl is I could never be taken away by the writing because the characters are so horrid and unlikable. In all seriousness, the ONLY reason this book got two stars is because I hated the characters so much that they deserved each other and the hell they had made. I felt it was a just ending. But again, here's an author who for some reason didn't realize that either your characters had to be likable or evil enough to be a fascinating antihero. Let's take Nick. He's boring. He's a pretty boy whose life is ruled by his dick. Why should we like him at all? There's no reason, sign off on Nick. Now Amy, why should we like Amy? Because the image she projects of herself is insipid and the true psychopath within, well, she's a bitch too. A controlling bitch. They deserve each other and that's an end to that.

Because Amy and Nick are so unlikable you don't give a flying fuck what happens to them. I mean seriously, they could have both died, they could have both been imprisoned, they could have been ignited in a pyre for national television. If you don't have someone you can root for then there's no reason to read a book. Seriously. I don't even know what to write anymore about this book because I just don't get it. It's not that original, it has unlikable characters, and it's not suspenseful in the least and for some reason everyone loves it!?! I think I have to cut this review short. How can I tear apart a book with so little to latch onto. There was no meat to this story so there's nothing I can chew on to discuss. Just no. This book wasn't for me. The end.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Amazong Amy, Antihero, Art History, Doctor Who, Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl, Neil Patrick Harris, Rosamund Pike, The Da Vinci Code, Whovian