strange and random happenstance: Me Talk Pretty One Day

Happy-Go-Lucky by David Sedaris
Published by: Little, Brown and Company
Publication Date: May 31st, 2022
Format: Kindle, 272 Pages
Rating: ★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Like most people during the pandemic David Sedaris lost a family member with whom he had a complicated relationship. Lou was not a good man, a liar who would belitle his son and seuxlaize his daughters, much as David would sexualize an encounter with a young boy in France. And by young I believe the child was naked and twelve and in his bed. Hopefully unlike most people their fathers hadn't been accused of sexual abuse by one of their siblings. But David, Amy, and the rest didn't believe Tiffany and now she's dead by her own hand. They claim the suicide indicates she was mentally ill, but what if it was the only solace someone who was abused by someone who was supposed to love and protect them was left with after the rest of her family denied her truth? What's more, David seems destined to fill the void left by his father, commenting on things best left unsaid. Like most people during the pandemic David Sedaris's day to day life changed. He would wander the empty streets of New York for hours begrudging the loss of his favorite pastime, window shopping, while determined to get his steps in. After all he is a man who spent $5,000 on a fur coat not because he liked it but because if he didn't buy it someone else might or might not and he couldn't stand that. And what's $5,000 anyway? Unlike most people during the pandemic he continued living his life as he pleased, damn what anyone else thought. He'd host lavish dinner parties and bemoan why anyone would need a stimulus check. He'd not see the needed social change that brought about the BLM protests, instead he'd see ways to make his way across town in the swiftest manner possible by "joining" the protests . David Sedaris is the one percent. He doesn't see why he shouldn't live as he chooses. Random strangers on the street who have crooked teeth should be thankful if he's willing to pay to have them straightened so that he doesn't have to look at them. After all he had his own teeth straightened and they make him feel better, even if Amy and Hugh don't agree. It's David's world and everyone else is merely players, fodder for his stories. Because his gaze no longer looks inward so much as a gimlet eye out to eviscerate others.

I first read David Sedaris back in 2002. I got Me Talk Pretty One Day for a Christmas present and I was left deeply underwhelmed. But I think the reason the book was so successful is that people could relate to it. I know I read it and thought, I could write this. I'm not sure everyone had that reaction, but, what it boils down to is that they could see themselves in David. But now? He is so cocooned in his entitlement that he is completely detached from reality. I was either appalled or revolted, there was no inbetween. There is such a cringe factor I can't even. And it's not just the revelations about his father or the young boy in France, there was multiple levels of cringe from the sexual to just the plain out of touch. I came away from this book picturing David as Marie Antoinette with me baying for his blood. Not just because of his flaunting of Covid safety protocols, but the actual incomprehension that a check for half the price of his fur coat could actually matter to someone. You know what David? Those stimulus checks saved me. Repeatedly. I don't know what I would have done without them. And you, you look down your nose at them? I just can't with you. I literally just can't. Universal basic income is the way forward to a society with parity. But I guess now that you're part of the one percent with one apartment on top of another just "because" you wouldn't like parity. Not with your homes in France and England and North Carolina... All told Google is telling me you have eight homes. EIGHT!?! Which is also how many million he is worth. To play devil's advocate against my prosecution, some people in my book club pointed out that perhaps this book didn't "work" because it was written in lockdown. David Sedaris is known to travel constantly giving talks where he hones his material. OK, fine, perhaps that made this less "refined" of a book, but editing couldn't have made this less offensive. The only explanation is he's reached J.K. Rowling levels of fame and they just publish whatever he spews forth, and yes, at points he could easily be compared to that other hateful author. For myself I like to think of some intern gleefully sending this to press knowing that David's head would role because that intern was someone who needed their stimulus check.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments

Labels: Covid, David Sedaris, Entitled, Father, For the Love of Book Clubs, France, Happy-Go-Lucky, J.K. Rowling, Marie Antoinette, Me Talk Pretty One Day, New York, One Percent, Pandemic, Stimulus Checks, Teeth

How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran
Published by: Harper Perennial
Publication Date: June 16th, 2011
Format: Paperback, 320 Pages
Rating: ★★★★
To Buy

The only reason I ever found out who Caitlin Moran is is because of a good book cover. Yes, we've all been lured into picking up a book because of a fabulous cover, sometimes to our detriment, but for me it was really all about that hand lettering. For about six months straight How to Be a Woman was featured almost daily in my Waterstones email and I seriously clicked the link every time to admire the lettering. What I wouldn't give to be able to do hand lettering, but sadly it's not in my wheelhouse. Despite my insane case of cover lust I didn't feel compelled to buy the book. I'm not into nonfiction, I'm not into books that explore feminism, so I wrote off this book as not for me. Then all of a sudden within the last few weeks Caitlin Moran got on my radar again. One of my friends was reading another of her books, Moranthology, I have an e-galley of How to Build a Girl languishing on my Kindle, and Caitlin and her sister Caroline wrote a show based loosely on their childhood, Raised by Wolves, which has been airing on the BBC. It was really this last one that got me interested in reading more of her work. In twenty minutes I was able to gauge her humor and realize, that while uneven, it might just be for me.

How to Be a Woman was a great companion piece to Raised by Wolves, I got deeper insight into what might be a funny throw away line on the show by hearing the full story. It was like spending a little holiday in Caitlin's brain, which was oddly restful, relatable, and fun; and like all holidays, had it's crappy moments too. While I've seen many reviews saying how she is the British Tina Fey, I'd actually compare her writing style, and also her upbringing, more to David Sedaris. I had the same feelings reading this book as I did when I first read Me Talk Pretty One Day. The insights are something I've thought of but never really been able to verbalize. Their writing style makes me wish that I was more polished, that I could write like this. Because the truth of the matter is, while yes, I might have a book in me, I know in my heart of hearts that it would never be fiction. My book would be more memoir or a Roman à clef, and I would hope it would be like this. More even... but still, like this.

What I admire most about this book is how she simplifies the definition of feminism. Feminism has almost become a loaded word. Even women like me think of the strident feminist burning bras, not half the population just looking to be treated equally. So to simplify, here are Caitlin's instructions. "Put you hand in your underpants. a. Do you have a vagina? and b. Do you want to be in charge of it? If you said "yes" to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist." So simple and so true. I think Caitlin would probably now encourage me to stand on my hair and shout it, but due to wobbly chair and lack of coordination, this could end badly, so I will just say it here I AM A FEMINIST! But what saddens me is to look at this hopefulness in this book, this idea that we are all humans living together and hopefully we'll be bros and be just one of the guys and pal around in a world of equality and to see the reality of what has happened in the few short years since Caitlin wrote this book.

The truth is that this book is sadly dated. There's hope and progressive thought and in just four years so much progress has been undone. Rights of women are flowing out of our hands faster then water. How can we women be "one of the guys" when not only the government is turning against us but more and more vitriol is being spewed on the web against us? Look to Gamergate and all that has wrought! Gamergate is the newest horror in the ongoing culture war of men and women. What started as backlash for supposed preferment for a woman game designer has descended into sheer madness. Death threats, doxing, hate mail, threats of physical violence, in particular rape. This has created a culture of fear and hate, where even me writing about it gives me pause, because anyone who takes a stand and speaks out against Gamergate could be their next target. Caitlin Moran has even tweeted about this, but sadly the movement hasn't failed and is just as strong as ever, so maybe it's time to switch the conversation? I can't do it on a global scale, but I can in this review.

How to Be a Woman is the best when it's relatable, when Caitlin's experiences are shared by her fellow women, obviously me included. Her tackling what it's like to get your first period, which for me also happened on my thirteenth birthday, to dealing with the emergence of hair all over our bodies, I wanted to scream YES, but from my comfy chair (remember, bad balance, so no standing up on said chair here). Though I haven't experienced everything she has, no marriage and kids for me, these are such universally feminine issues that as a woman you get it, you understand. But the truth is Caitlin had a very interesting foray out of Wolverhampton and into the greater world at large, writing for Melody Maker at the age of sixteen. It's when she starts to dwell on specific events that happened to her that couldn't ever in a million years happen to you when the book loses that relatablity and starts to lose your interest. In particular I am thinking about Caitlin going to a very German bar with Lady Gaga. Yes, Caitlin's extrapolation of Gaga as a feminist icon works, but it's almost too specific and too much relating to her sitting in a banquette with Gaga falling asleep in her lap. Yes, it's an interesting if odd story, but I don't think it works in the context of the book.

But even if it's uneven and occasionally meandering, it's a book that every woman and every man should read. Seriously, I think guys would understand us a lot more just from a few key scenes in this book. And she's not afraid to tackle the big issues, like abortion, and she's not afraid of making herself look bad, she tells it like it is. Sometimes it can be preachy, and it is definitely NOT for everyone, ie abortion, but I feel somehow more connected after reading How to Be a Woman. It's not about "Girl Power" or anything so trite. It's about knowing that what I feel is somehow universal. That even if we are totally different people, and that my and Caitlin's life are so different you can barely compare us, there is literally an ocean that divides us, but underneath everything we are the same. If nothing else, this book will truly make you think. And laugh. A lot. Out loud.