Showing posts with label Jimmy Juliano. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jimmy Juliano. Show all posts

Monday, August 11, 2025

Tuesday Tomorrow

13 Months Haunted by Jimmy Juliano
Published by: Dutton
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 384 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"From Dead Eleven author Jimmy Juliano, a twisty, edge-of-your-seat novel about a unique haunting in the early 2000s.

Piper Lowery, a public library clerk in charge of liaising with the local middle school, can tell right away there's something strange about the new girl in eighth grade. Avery Wallace won't touch any kind of technology, not even the computers at the library, and her mother comes to school with her every day, refusing to leave her side - not even when Avery uses the restroom.

And then there are the rumors, the whispers Piper hears from kids in the hallway and parents around town: Avery's mother is a witch. Her sister and father were killed by something supernatural. A strange virus killed them.

Seeing how isolated and lonely Avery is, Piper befriends her but quickly realizes it might just be the worst decision she's ever made. Because there's something dark inside Avery Wallace, and it's spreading..."

If you had an evil spawn of Satan baby wouldn't you home school it?

House of Monstrous Women by Daphne Fama
Published by: Berkley
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 336 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"A young woman is drawn into a dangerous game after being invited to the mazelike home of her childhood friend, a rumored witch, in this Gothic horror set in 1986 Philippines.

In this game, there's one rule: survive.

Orphaned after her father's political campaign ended in tragedy, Josephine is alone taking care of the family home while her older brother is off in Manila, where revolution brews. But an unexpected invitation from her childhood friend Hiraya to her house offers an escape....

Why don't you come visit, and we can play games like we used to?

If Josephine wins, she'll get whatever her heart desires. Her brother is invited, too, and it's time they had a talk. Josephine's heard the dark whispers: Hiraya is a witch and her family spits curses. But still, she's just desperate enough to seize this chance to change her destiny.

Except the Ranoco house is strange, labyrinthine, and dangerously close to a treacherous sea. A sickly-sweet smell clings to the dimly lit walls, and veiled eyes follow Josephine through endless connecting rooms. The air is tense with secrets, and as the game continues it's clear Josephine doesn't have the whole truth.

To save herself, she will have to play to win. But in this house, victory is earned with blood.

A lush new voice in horror arises in this riveting gothic set against the upheaval of 1986 Philippines and the People Power Revolution."

Oh, yes, an oh so haunted house. My summer catnip! And right in time for my birthday.

The Society of Unknowable Objects by Gareth Brown
Published by: William Morrow
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 352 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"From the author of the internationally bestselling The Book of Doors, another fantastical, stand-alone novel in which a trio of seemingly everyday people are members of a secret society tasked with finding and protecting hidden magical objects - ordinary items with extraordinary properties.

The world of unknowable objects - magical items that most people have no idea possess powers - has been quiet for decades, but the three current members of a secret society have remained watchful, meeting every six months in the basement of a bookshop in London. They are pledged to protect their archive of magical items hidden away, safe from the outside world - and the world safe from them. But when Frank Simpson, the longest-standing member of the Society of Unknowable Objects, hears of a new artifact coming to light in Hong Kong, he sends Magda Sparks - author by day and newest member - to investigate.

Within hours of arriving in Hong Kong, Magda is facing death and danger, confronted by a professional killer who seems to know all about unknowable objects, specifically one that was stolen from him a decade before. Magda is forced to flee, using an artifact that not even the rest of the Society knows about.

Returning to London, Magda learns hers is not the only secret being kept from the other two members. And that the most pernicious secret is about the nature of the Society's mission. Her discoveries will lead her on a perilous journey, across the Atlantic to the deep south of the United States, now in pursuit of not an unknowable object, but an unknowable person: the professional killer she first faced in Hong Kong. In doing so, Magda begins to understand that there are even more in the world who are chasing these magical items, and that her own family's legacy is tied up in keeping all these secrets under wraps.

Magic has always been too powerful to reveal to the world. But Magda will learn there might be something even more powerful:

The truth."

For fans of The Librarians and Warehouse 13.

The Space Cat by Nnedi Okorafor and Tana Ford
Published by: First Second
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 176 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Invaders from outer space have descended on Nigeria. They have no idea whose home they're messing with.

Ah, yes, the luxurious life of a well-loved cat. It's the best. And Periwinkle has it the cushiest. But there's more to this pampered pet than meets the eye. He's not just a house cat. He's a space cat. By day, he's showered with scritches, cuddles, and delicious chicken fillets. By night, he races through the cosmos in his custom-built spaceship.

Between epic battles with squeaky toys and working on ways to improve his ship, Periwinkle is never bored. And when his humans decide to leave the United States and move to the small but bustling town of Kaleria, Nigeria, he's excited to explore his new home - even after he learns that many Nigerians hate cats. After all, a born adventurer like Periwinkle doesn't shy away from new experiences. But not everything in Kaleria is as it seems. Soon enough, Periwinkle finds himself on his most out-of-this-world adventure yet, right here on Earth."

Even since I watched The Cat from Outer Space I have been obsessed by the idea of felines in space.

The Bone Raiders by Jackson Ford
Published by: Orbit
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 480 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"The start of an edge-of-your-seat, action-packed epic fantasy series from the irreverent Jackson Ford, where a wild band known as the Bone Raiders harness the power of gigantic, fire-breathing lizards to defend their homeland.

WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE...BUT OUR GIANT FIRE-BREATHING LIZARDS DID.

You don't f*ck with the Rakada. The people living in the grasslands of the Tapestry call them the Bone Raiders, from their charming habit of displaying the bones of those they kill on their armour. But being a raider is tough these days. There's a new Great Khan in the Tapestry. He plans to use his sizeable military to get rid of the raider clans. And then there are the huge fire-breathing lizards that are straying into the grasslands a little too often these days.

Sayana is a raider scout. She knows that to protect their way of life, she needs do something drastic. Like convincing her clan to ride those huge lizards, instead of horses. Sayana doesn't know how to do it without being eaten and/or cooked alive, but she'd better figure it out fast - or she and her clan, along with every other raider in the Tapestry, will be wiped out."

YAS, dragon riders by a slightly different bent.

Her Soul for a Crown by Alysha Rameera
Published by: Sourcebooks Casablanca
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 464 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"For readers of Sarah J Maas, Scarlett St. Clair, and Tasha Suri's The Jasmine Throne, this epic, slow-burn romantasy inspired by Sri Lankan mythology follows a fierce orphaned young woman with an affinity for poisons and revenge who would do anything to end the reign of heartless rajas - even sell her soul to the most dangerous cursed god of all - the Blood Yakka, Reeri.

Anula Ramanayake of Anuradhapura calculated her ascent the moment she was orphaned - when her village burned in an endless war and the gods forsook her prayers. First, she would marry the raja. Then, she would poison him and take the throne for herself and her people. But when an unexpected coup thwarts her careful plans, Anula is left with one desperate option. She offers her soul to the cursed gods she renounced in exchange for the crown.

In the Second Heavens, Reeri the Blood Yakka, the most dangerous and powerful of his clan, hears her prayer. For eons, he's waited for such a valuable offering - one that could finally give him the chance to kill his divine tormentor and return his fellow Yakkas to their former glory on earth. Reeri accepts Anula's bargain, tethering them until their goals are achieved, or until they die.

As the war presses on, Anula must move quickly or lose her chance to become the first raejina. But while she is skilled at many things, especially in stopping hearts, the closer she grows to Reeri, the more she finds her own heart at risk. And when the time comes to fight enemies both human and divine, Anuradhapura and the Heavens will never be the same."

For fans of romantasy and Monstress

The Sun and the Moon by Rebekah Faubion
Published by: Berkley
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 368 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Like the sun and the moon, these opposites can't escape each other's gravitational pull in this enchanting romance.

Cadence Connolly grew up in the cosmic shadow of her mother, the renowned psychic Madame Moira. Now, as a park ranger in Maine, she's carved out her own life far away from her mother's many premonitions and tarot cards...until she receives an invitation to Moira's engagement party. Cadence doesn't know what led to the thawing of her mother's heart, but she'll have to return home to discover the truth.

Sydney Sinclair's schedule as a pilot makes long-term relationships difficult, but at least she can fly anywhere in the world for free with only her emotional baggage as a carry-on. After her mom passed, it's always been Sydney and her dad against the world, so it's no wonder she doesn't trust the enigmatic Madame Moira - his newly minted fiancée.

When Cadence meets Sydney, they realize they share similar suspicions about their parents' impending nuptials. As they begin scheming to break up their parents' engagement - they can't possibly be in love after such a short time together - Sydney and Cadence discover an irresistible chemistry with each other instead. Despite not believing in fate, Cadence might just have found her soulmate in Sydney."

What if their parents set this all up because it was written in the cards?

Just Another Dead Author by Katarina Bivald
Published by: Poisoned Pen Press
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 384 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"The pen is mightier than the sword - but both are deadly in the wrong hands.

When mystery author Berit Gardner agrees to attend a writer's conference in the idyllic French countryside, she dreams of basking in the sun and nurturing budding talent. But her vacation takes a dark turn when the keynote speaker - a notorious literary titan known for his biting critiques - drops dead at the end of her lecture. As whispers of foul play swirl, Berit quickly realizes she's stepped into a tangled web of jealousy, betrayal, and long-held grudges.

Enter the French commissaire, who is less than thrilled to have a curious author meddling in her investigation. But as the suspects pile up - each with their own motive for wanting the egotistical writer dead - she reluctantly recognizes Berit's sharp instincts could crack the case wide open. With a colorful cast of authors, agents, and aspiring writers all hiding secrets, the stakes rise higher with every clue uncovered.

To make matters worse, a tenacious young journalist vows to outsmart Berit and solve the mystery first, placing herself in the killer's sights. Now, Berit must navigate a maze of deceit and danger while trying to keep the ambitious reporter safe. With time running out and the killer lurking in the shadows, can Berit unravel the truth before her own story ends in tragedy?"

I always love mystery authors trying to catch killers.

High Season by Katie Bishop
Published by: St. Martin's Press
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 384 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Never speak of that summer.

On a beautiful summer's night twenty years ago, troubled seventeen-year-old Tamara Drayton was found floating face-down in the pool of her family's idyllic mansion in the south of France, leaving her twin brother, golden-boy Blake, to pick up the pieces of their shattered family.

Also left behind was their sister Nina who, at six years old, became the youngest person ever to testify in a French murder trial. Because she's the only one who saw what happened - who watched as her babysitter, Josie Jackson, pushed Tamara under the water, and held her there until she stopped breathing.

Didn't she? Twenty years later, Nina's memories have faded, leaving her with no idea of what really transpired that night. When a new true crime documentary about her sister's murder is announced, Nina thinks this might be her chance to finally find out.

But the truth always comes at a cost. Who will pay the price?

Set over two unforgettable summers two decades apart, High Season is a dark, tense exploration of the nature of memory, the enduring power of truth, and all the gray areas in between."

Long hot summers are always memorable. Through in a murder and it's a summer you're not bound to ever forget.

The Gossip Columnist's Daughter by Peter Orner
Published by: Little Brown and Company
Publication Date: August 12th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 448 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"The cold case of a young Hollywood starlet's death sets a contemporary writer on an epic and comic quest to uncover the truth, and its connection to his own family - a new novel by "a major talent" (New York Times) and "one of the most distinctive voices of his generation" (Granta).

Jed Rosenthal hasn't published a book in fourteen years, the mother of his child left him in a "trial separation" that has stretched on indefinitely, and he struggles to navigate the daily sorrows of their co-parenting arrangement. But the implosion of Jed's family is simply a footnote in the larger history of the Rosenthal family's decline.

Just days after the JFK assassination, Karyn "Cookie" Kupcinet was found dead in her Hollywood apartment. The press reported that the 22-year-old was strangled, yet unanswered questions linger to this day. Cookie's parents - Chicago royalty, Irv and Essee Kupcinet - had been close friends with Jed's grandparents, but in the aftermath of her death, their friendship abruptly and inexplicably ended. Decades later, Jed pores over family stories, newspaper archives, old photos, and crime scene notes, believing that if he can divine the truth of Cookie's death - whether it was suicide, murder, or part of a larger conspiracy - it might shed light on a mystery closer to home.

Spanning seventy plus years, and weaving together family drama and a true-life unsolved case, The Gossip Columnist's Daughter is a singular, wryly comic, and deeply human exploration into friendship and the bonds that sustain us."

And who knows, a struggling writer solving a cold case would sure be a bestseller...

Monday, June 26, 2023

Tuesday Tomorrow

A Most Agreeable Murder by Julia Seales
Published by: Random House
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Hardcover, 352 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"When a wealthy bachelor drops dead at a ball, a young lady takes on the decidedly improper role of detective in this action-packed debut comedy of manners and murder.

Feisty, passionate Beatrice Steele has never fit the definition of a true lady, according to the strict code of conduct that reigns in Swampshire, her small English township - she is terrible at needlework, has absolutely no musical ability, and her artwork is so bad it frightens people. Nevertheless, she lives a perfectly agreeable life with her marriage-scheming mother, prankster father, and two younger sisters -  beautiful Louisa and forgettable Mary. But she harbors a dark secret: She is obsessed with the true crime cases she reads about in the newspaper. If anyone in her etiquette-obsessed community found out, she'd be deemed a morbid creep and banished from respectable society forever.

For her family's sake, she's vowed to put her obsession behind her. Because eligible bachelor Edmund Croaksworth is set to attend the approaching autumnal ball, and the Steele family hopes that Louisa will steal his heart. If not, Martin Grub, their disgusting cousin, will inherit the family's estate, and they will be ruined or, even worse, forced to move to France. So Beatrice must be on her best behavior...which is made difficult when a disgraced yet alluring detective inexplicably shows up to the ball.

Beatrice is just holding things together when Croaksworth drops dead in the middle of a minuet. As a storm rages outside, the evening descends into a frenzy of panic, fear, and betrayal as it becomes clear they are trapped with a killer. Contending with competitive card games, tricky tonics, and Swampshire's infamous squelch holes, Beatrice must rise above decorum and decency to pursue justice and her own desires - before anyone else is murdered."

Swampshire's squelch holes. Hehe. 

Deborah Goes to Dover by M.C. Beaton
Published by: Blackstone Publishing
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Paperback, 177 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"A dead employer's legacy of five thousand pounds has allowed spinster Hannah Pym to resign from housekeeping and enjoy traveling the English countryside by coach. But adventure soon finds Miss Pym in the form of runaway brides, spirited heiresses, and international refugees, who continue to test her expert matchmaking skills.

Destined for Dover, Miss Pym scents the potential for a match between fellow coachmates when she meets Abigail Conningham, traveling with her mother to a loveless marriage arranged by an uncle, and Captain Beltravers, an army officer still mourning his dead wife and child. And that's just the beginning.

Next, Miss Pym has her matchmaking work cut out for her when she encounters the pretty but hoydenish Lady Deborah Western. Encouraged by an unruly twin brother, the spirited, golden-haired Deborah seems set on dressing and acting the tomboy, much to the dismay of her handsome neighbor, the Earl of Ashton. But with the help of Pym's clever maneuverings, Lady Deborah will soon be well and truly matched."

Again, I am SO HAPPY that this books are being made available stateside. 

Manslaughter Park by Tirzah Price
Published by: Harperteen
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Hardcover, 416 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"In this queer retelling of the classic novel and third book in Tirzah Price's Jane Austen Murder Mystery series, Mansfield Park is the center of a deadly accident (or is it?) Perfect for fans of the Lady Janies and Stalking Jack the Ripper.

Aspiring artist Fanny Price is an unwelcome guest at her uncle Sir Thomas Bertram's estate. It's his affection for Fanny that's keeping her from being forced out by her cousins Tom and Maria and nasty Aunt Norris, back to a home to which she never wants to return. But then Sir Thomas dies in a tragic accident inside his art emporium, and Fanny finds evidence of foul play that, if revealed, could further jeopardize her already precarious position.

Edmund, her best friend and secret crush, urges Fanny to keep quiet about her discovery, but Fanny can't ignore the truth: a murderer is among them.

Determined to find the killer, Fanny's pursuit for justice has her wading into the Bertram family business, uncovering blackmail, and brushing with London's high society when Henry and Mary Crawford arrive at Mansfield Park with an audacious business proposal. But a surprising twist of fate - and the help of local legends Lizzie Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy - brings Fanny more complications than she ever expected and a life-altering realization about herself she never saw coming."

There has NEVER been no never will be a better title for a Mansfield Park retelling than Manslaughter Park.

Misfortune Cookie by Vivien Chien
Published by: St. Martin's Press
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Paperback, 336 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"In Vivien Chien's Misfortune Cookie, Lana Lee returns for another delectable cozy set in a Chinese restaurant in Cleveland, OH.

They say fortune favors the bold, and Lana Lee is determined to prove that true.

Lana, now officially manager of her family's restaurant, the Ho-Lee Noodle House, is headed to sunny Irvine, California to attend a restaurant convention with her sister, Anna May, along for the ride. The girls' very Americanized Aunt Grace has asked them to stay in her posh rental, and as the trip begins, it seems to be just what they both needed. Even the restaurant convention proves to be worthwhile and entertaining, especially when Lana witnesses a dramatic cat fight between a fortune cookie vendor and a journalist.

Lana and Anna May can't imagine things getting any better until they learn their aunt has yet another surprise in store for them - a swanky cocktail party hosted for the freelancers of Southern California. But on the night of the party, things go south when a close journalist friend of Grace's mysteriously plunges from the roof top of the hotel. Even more suspicious is the fact that Aunt Grace's friend is the same journalist Lana saw getting into a screaming match with the fortune cookie vendor at the convention.

The police rule the death a gruesome accident, but Aunt Grace refuses to accept that explanation and begs Lana for her help uncovering the truth. Lana, Anna May, Aunt Grace attempt to keep up appearances as they search for answers, but unwanted attention from suspicious colleagues and convention attendees starts to surface, causing Lana to wonder if they'll find the killer in time...or if they'll be the next ones pushed over the edge."

When you've seen a lot of death in your hometown, it's best to go see bodies elsewhere.

Fatal Fudge Swirl by Meri Allen
Published by: St. Martin's Press
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Paperback, 320 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"A movie production brings drama - and murder - to a close-knit New England village, forcing Riley Rhodes to scoop out the suspects.

Former CIA librarian and amateur sleuth Riley Rhodes is loving her fresh start as the manager of the Udderly Delicious Ice Cream Shop. The leaves are turning, tourists are leaf-peeping, and Penniman, Connecticut is putting finishing touches on the weekend long Halloween Happening. But the village is also buzzing. Former child star Cooper Collins is overseeing the production of a romantic comedy that's filming on the town green and his domineering socialite mother, Diantha, is planning her lavish Halloween themed wedding at her Inn on the Green. Her fiancé has run the Inn's kitchen for years, ably aided by his recent ex-wife, chef Mary Ann Dumas. An old friend of Riley's, Mary Ann turns to her when the bride requests a spooky ice cream wedding cake.

But the weekend takes a frightful turn when Diantha is found dead and suspicion falls on Mary Ann. The cast of potential suspects is long - each wedding guest had a chilling motive to kill the vicious heiress. Can Riley unmask the murderer before another guest ends up on ice?"

Tell me more about this Halloween Happening...

Dead Eleven by Jimmy Juliano
Published by: Dutton
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Hardcover, 448 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"On a creepy island where everyone has a strange obsession with the year 1994, a newcomer arrives, hoping to learn the truth about her son's death - but finds herself pulled deeper and deeper into the bizarrely insular community and their complicated rules...

Clifford Island. When Willow Stone finds these words written on the floor of her deceased son's bedroom, she's perplexed. She's never heard of it before, but soon learns it's a tiny island off Wisconsin's Door County peninsula, 200 miles from Willow's home. Why would her son write this on his floor? Determined to find answers, Willow sets out for the island.

After a few days on Clifford, Willow realizes: This place is not normal. Everyone seems to be stuck in a particular day in 1994: They wear outdated clothing, avoid modern technology, and, perhaps most mystifyingly, watch the OJ Simpson car chase every evening. When she asks questions, people are evasive, but she learns one thing: Close your curtains at night.

High schooler Lily Becker has lived on Clifford her entire life, and she is sick of the island's twisted mythology and adhering to the rules. She's been to the mainland, and everyone is normal there, so why is Clifford so weird? Lily is determined to prove that the islanders' beliefs are a sham. But are they?

Five weeks after Willow arrives on the island, she disappears. Willow's brother, Harper, comes to Clifford searching for his sister, and when he learns the truth - that this island is far more sinister than anyone could have imagined - he is determined to blow the whole thing open.

If he can get out alive...."

I spent every summer in Door County as a kid, my brother loves to talk about our trips, so for him, where is this island and when can he visit?

The Night It Ended by Katie Garner
Published by: Mira Books
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Paperback, 416 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Intertwining the narrative with the transcript of an anonymous interview, this stunning suspense debut from Katie Garner will take you on a twisting path where nothing - and no one - is what it seems.

Finding the truth seems impossible when her own dark past has her seeing lies everywhere she looks...

From the outside, criminal psychiatrist Dr. Madeline Pine's life appears picture-perfect - she has a beautiful family, a successful mental health practice and a growing reputation as an expert in female violence. But when she's called to help investigate a mysterious death at a boarding school for troubled girls, Madeline hesitates. She's been through tragic cases before, and the one she was entangled in last year nearly destroyed her...

Yet she can't turn away when she hears about Charley Ridley. After the girl was found shoeless and in pajamas at the bottom of an icy ravine on campus, the police ruled it a tragic accident. But the private investigator hired by her mother has his doubts. If it were Madeline's daughter who died, she'd want to know why.

Arriving at the secluded campus in upstate New York, Madeline's met by an unhelpful skeleton staff and the four other students still on campus during winter break. Each seems to hold a piece of the puzzle. And everyone has secrets - Madeline included. But who would kill to protect them?"

Boarding schools with a few students left for the holidays is like my catnip.

The Ghost Theatre by Mat Osman
Published by: Overlook Press
Publication Date: June 27th, 2023
Format: Hardcover, 320 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"A wild and hallucinatory reimagining of Elizabethan London, with its bird worshippers, famed child actors, and the Queen herself; a dazzling historical novel about theatre, magic, and the dangers of all-consuming love.

London, 1601 - a golden city soon to erupt in flames. Shay is a messenger-girl, falconer, and fortune teller who sees the future in the patterns of birds. Nonesuch is the dark star of the city's fabled Blackfriars Theatre, where a cast of press-ganged boys perform for London's gentry. When the pair meet, Shay falls in love with the performances - and with Nonesuch himself. As their bond deepens, they create the Ghost Theatre, an underground troupe that performs fantastical plays in the city's hidden corners. As their fame grows the troupe fans the flames of rebellion among the city's outcasts, and the lovers are drawn into the dark web of the Elizabethan court. Embattled, with the plague on the rise throughout the country, the Queen seeks a reading from Shay, a moment which unleashes chaos not only in Shay's life, but across the whole of England too.

A fever-dream full of prophecy and anarchy, gutter rats and bird gods, Mat Osman's The Ghost Theatre is a wild ride from the rooftops of Elizabethan London to its dark underbelly, and a luminous meditation on double lives and fluid identities and the bewitching, transformative nature of art and power, with a bittersweet love affair at its heart. Set amid the vividly rendered England of Osman's imagination and written in rich, seductive prose, The Ghost Theatre will have readers under its spell from the very first page."

Can I can I read this now please!?!

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