strange and random happenstance

If you're a true Anglophile you have pondered, once or twice, about reading Samuel Richardson's Clarissa. Don't deny it, you know you have and you just as quickly realized you probably never would. Because while it is ranked as one of the greatest English novels it is also one of the longest. I am not saying this lightly. I've breezed through doorstop tomes in my life and this one makes me stop and consider if I'm that committed a reader. I mean yes I want to but realistically, no I won't. I remember seeing the book once physically at Borders and wondered if it was a dictionary. The type was so tiny! The tome so weighty! Which is why this miniseries is great. As I see it, if you can make this good a miniseries, which is only four episodes long, out of a book that has 943,000 or 984,870 words in it depending on which of Richardson's edits you're reading then the book might be a tad overwritten. The story is a simple one, girl inherits fortune, family try to influence her, drive her into the arms of the wrong man, and she dies in sin. Richardson was apparently pissed that people liked Clarissa being seduced by the wicked Lovelace, hence the different editions of the book. But this miniseries fully plays into this love of the unrepentant bad boy by casting Sean Bean. He's so deliciously evil. Sean Bean as Lovelace was also a major inspiration in a series I love by Lauren Willig. Without Sean Bean there'd be no Lord Vaughn! You want to think good of Lovelace, you want Clarissa to run from the original literary rake, and at the same time, you so want them to play out this doomed love affair to the very end. And oh, that ending! In fact, I think that is what made the greatest impression on me, when Lovelace falls to the blade wielded by someone he thought was his friend, and that someone is played by an even better Sean than Bean! Sigh. I'm talking about Sean Pertwee. Yes, as in the Third Doctor's son. I fell irretrievably in love with Sean Pertwee as Jack Belford. A few years back he was scheduled to be at a comic convention near my house and I was totally going to go just to see him. I even thought, would if be weird if I asked him to sign a copy of Clarissa? But then he had to film a guest spot on Prodigal Son. So while I haven't met him (YET!) at least that guest appearance was totally worth it. Seriously, you all need to be watching Prodigal Son!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Borders, Clarissa, Doctor Who, Fifty Years a Masterpiece, Jack Belford, Jon Pertwee, Lauren Willig, Lord Vaughn, Lovelace, Miniseries, Prodigal Son, Rake, Samuel Richardson, Sean Bean, Sean Pertwee, The Third Doctor

The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene
Published by: Grosset and Dunlap
Publication Date: 1930
Format: Hardcover, 180 Pages
To Buy

I will fully admit that until recently I was never really on board with Nancy Drew. As a kid I never read her adventures, though I do remember the spinning book rack in my middle school library, the one my mom worked at for many, many years, was larded with Nancy Drew books and I did pick up The Secret of the Old Clock one day and stopped about two pages in. The story just didn't grab me and at that time in my life I was a reluctant reader. I remember Northern Exposure's Nancy Drew parody with Maggie more than the books themselves! So while not being a Nancy Drew fan I still enabled my mom's addiction. She adored the books when little, checking them out from the library as summer reading. So needless to say when they started issuing reproductions of the original books my mom was over the moon. I helped her hunt them down in our local stores. From Borders to The University Bookstore for Kids, we anxiously awaited the new re-releases was scanning the shelves for any other books that might want to come home with us. I now have these reprints and can not wait to read them for the first time as I have become a Nancy Drew addict because of the new CW TV show. I didn't expect it. I only watched it at first because it was paired with Riverdale and was another "dark retelling" but this time the supernatural aspects were real. As time went on Nancy Drew quickly became my favorite show, and Riverdale fell by the wayside, though I did like their own take on "Nancy Drew," AKA Tracy True, this season. The only real regret I have is that my mom never got to see this adaptation and the resurgence in Nancy Drew's popularity. I think she would have been on board.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Bookstores, Borders, CW, Library, Nancy Drew, Northern Exposure, Reissues, Riverdale, Summer Reading, Supernatural, The Secret of the Old Clock, Theses Are a Few of My Favorite Things, Tracy True

Bookstore: Myopic Bookstore

Location: Chicago, Illinois

Why I Love Them: Whenever I go somewhere I try to find a bookstore nearby to visit. One November I was headed to the Chicago area to go to a Lauren Willig event and the whole day would oddly, aside from Lauren, have been a book bust if not for the Borders on Michigan Avenue having a going out of business sale. Because earlier in the day I had decided to take a chance on a bookstore that everyone raved about but that left me oddly cold. You might be wondering why I would profile a store that didn't bowl me over... well truthfully, I just want to say my two cents on a store that so many people rave about and secondly, all bookstores deserve a second chance and I haven't been there a second time and everyone in this day and age needs to support brick and mortar stores. Let's get to the point, I'm talking about Myopic Bookstore. Myopic looks exactly like what you'd expect a used bookstore in Chicago to look like. The "L" is right behind the store and creates that clackity whooshing sound that is the lifeblood of the city. The building is old and the top two stories have a wonderful bay window. But inside the store feels tenuous. Some landings feel as if they'd collapse with too much weight on them. Ceilings are occasionally really low as you look through old crates that have been lashed together to create shelving. As for the basement? The least said the better, although it could easily have been in The Silence of the Lambs. But for all that, they had great marketing graphics, and for that I'm willing to forgive a lot.

Best Buy: For all it's rickety and temporary feel, some sections felt homey, like there was a glow about them, most likely from the 80s desk lamps strapped to shelves so you could see. It was in one of these comfortable nooks that I found my best buy: a few Angela Thirkell books. Now most people probably don't know her, but to those of use who crave things to be even more British in our lives, she is a comfort read. Anthony Trollope wrote a series of books set in Barsetshire. They were famous, loved, and memorable, and not just because of the miniseries starring Alan Rickman. Though Alan Rickman is sheer perfection so you should check out The Barchester Chronicles as soon as you can. In the 1930s, almost fifty years after Trollope's death, Thirkell started to write books set in Barsetshire. They were contemporary, much like Trollope was in his day. They were funny and satiric, and just lovely, making it no surprise why Virago Press finally got around to republishing many of these classics. This book buying excursion was before Virago got involved. At this time the only editions were pricey copies published by Moyer Bell, the same publishers as Helene Hanff if you're into those kinds of weird facts. In fact many of the editions I found that day at Myopic were never released and don't appear to be in the pipeline at Virago, no matter how many times I email them! So this proves that even in the most odd of stores I can still find a best buy... but in truth, I can always find an excuse to buy a new or new to me book.    

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Alan Rickman, Angela Thirkell, Anthony Trollope, Barsetshire, Borders, Chicago, Helene Hanff, Illinois, Lauren Willig, Moyer Bell, Myopic Bookstore, Support Your Brick and Mortar, The Barchester Chronicles, Virago

Bookstore: Barnes and Noble West

Location: West Side of Madison, Wisconsin

Why I Love Them: While Borders had opened in Madison four years earlier, RIP Borders, the opening of Barnes and Noble seemed like a far bigger deal. Or maybe because 1996 was when I officially came out of my cocoon emerging as the a book worm I was destined to be and therefore I greeted this store's opening with outstretched arms waiting to be filled with all they had to offer. There were literally weeks of events leading up to the official opening and because my mother was a school librarian I was lucky enough to tag along with her before the store actually opened to the public. The size of the store was mind-boggling to me. I'd never been in a bookstore before with TWO levels. There was so much my mind couldn't take it all in, I didn't know where to even start. But over the years since then I have spent so many delightful hours in the company of friends in this store, both real and those found between the pages of a book. As for all the Harry Potter midnight releases? Cherished memories! I still have my original and battered Barnes and Noble membership from the very first month they started the program in 2001. While you might think that supporting a chain is not as noble as supporting an independent store, keep in mind, these stores are in just as much jeopardy and in my mind, there's plenty of book buying I need to do in my life so I'm happy to spread it around.  

Best Buy: And as for my best buy... now this is a VERY unique one. For as long as I can remember EVERYONE in my family has been a fan of Edward Gorey. Whether it was because of his intricately detailed sets from Mystery! to his darkly humorous books we have always loved his work. Even to the point that I was personally willing to wear white t-shirts because they had his work on it, and it takes a lot for a girl to be willing to wear white, let me tell you! When Barnes and Noble had their big opening they had some unique limited edition items for sale. While I was initially drawn to everything Michael Crichton, from hardcovers to a very fetching omnibus, my gaze finally landed on this rather large box that claimed to be Dracula: The Definitive Edition Signed by Edward Gorey. As it turns out Barnes and Noble had partnered with Gorey to take his designs from the 1977 stage adaptation of Dracula starring Frank Langella as the Count and made a very nice edition of the book. Though of these editions 750 were signed by Gorey. This was one of them! This was signed by EDWARD GOREY! Yes, at $100 it was rather pricey, but to me it was and is priceless. All I knew was that I would have something he had touched and that filled me with glee. I didn't notice until I got it home that the gorgeous black tray that could be tied shut with an equally black ribbon didn't include just the book. There was also a signed lithograph! Mina looking like she'd just stepped out of the opening credits of Mystery! One day I will have to get that lithograph framed, until then I will covet it with the tenacity of a dragon with her treasure.  

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Barnes and Noble, Borders, Bram Stoker, Dracula, Edward Gorey, Frank Langella, Harry Potter, Limited Edition, Lithograph, Madison, Michael Crichton, Mystery, Signed, Support Your Brick and Mortar

Bookstore: Half Price Books East

Location: East Side of Madison, Wisconsin

Why I Love Them: The Half Price Books on the East side of Madison has an entirely different vibe from the West side location. Yes, it has the same brown shelving and the plethora of odd British editions that occasionally filter into these stores, but it has something that the West location doesn't have, proximity to Maple Bluff. If you're a local you are probably nodding your head sagely and realizing that I speak the truth, but if you aren't you're asking yourself what is Maple Bluff and why would that impact a bookstore? Maple Bluff is a tiny little village on the shores of Lake Mendota that is a suburb of Madison. But it is a tony suburb. All the houses on the lakefront are millions of dollars. It's where the Govenor's mansion is, where Chris Farley grew up, and the chichi country club is located. In other words, it's the place where when you're little your parents drive you around to show you the really big houses you will probably never set foot in. These houses are peopled with individuals who subscribe to Easton Press and The Folio Society, and then, when they don't need or want these beautiful editions, they sell them, to the nearest Half Price Books. Oh, the limited editions you can find there. The times I've drooled over books so special they are behind glass. In fact most books that would be behind glass at other stores are just out in the open here, because that's the inventory they stock. Writing this is making me realize I haven't been there since January and who knows what might have come in! In fact, I think I might go there today!

Best Buy: But there will always be one day I will forever hold in my memory as magical. A day on which I had thankfully just been paid because I literally spent my entire paycheck. I was on the east side with my friend Matt. We'd often hit the restaurants on that side of town for dinner because the franchises are different than on the west side due to interstate traffic. It was an unwritten rule that no matter where we ate we ALWAYS went to the bookstore afterward. A few years earlier The New York Public Library had issued these beautiful hardcover collector's editions that I coveted. I remember seeing them at Borders and being jealous when my friend Huyen bought their copy of Mansfield Park. Eventually I noticed that you didn't see them anywhere anymore and I worried that I had missed my chance. But that only meant my hunt moved onto used bookstores. I remember the thrill as I spotted Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre that evening after dinner. My eyes quickly scanned to the left and there was Mansfield Park! I couldn't believe my luck. But then my mind started reeling... if they had two might they have more? By this point I had memorized all the books in the set and I scrambled through the fiction section. They had Alcott, Cather, Chekhov, Conrad, Dickens, Dickinson, Drieser, Hardy, de Laclos, Lawrence, and Wharton! As I jumped from C to D to H, all within sight of each other my arms became more and more burdened. But it was a burden of joy. Matt came over and saw me and rolled his eyes. He knew me too well to try to interrupt such a book buying experience. The ONLY downside is that they didn't have Frankenstein... but I still look and one day I WILL find. 

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Borders, Chris Farley, East Side, Easton Press, Folio Society, Frankenstein, Half Price Books, Jane Eyre, Madison, Mansfield Park, Maple Bluff, New York Public Library, Support Your Brick and Mortar

We all order from Amazon, because it's fast and easy. They're the fast food of book buying. Which means it's not really good for you, it's just convenient. But keep in mind, they have an endgame. That is to outlast everyone and then hold the monopoly on the market. Which means that those few dollars you saved over the years will be given back to them tenfold. So what can we book buyers do? We can support our local brick and mortar stores! We all felt the pain when Borders closed, with a little joy mixed in for the deals we got, followed a few years later by the loss of B. Dalton. Look around you and you'll see stores are failing left and right. Toys 'R' Us, Boston Store, big chains and little mom and pop storefronts are going the way of the dodo to be replaced by the "convenience" of shopping online. Therefore it is more important than ever to get out of your house and go buy locally. This doesn't even have to be at an independent bookstore, though please support those too, go to your local Barnes and Noble, go and show them that their store matters to you, not just when there are events and book signings, but as an integral part of your life.

Why I believe so strongly in brick and mortar stores is that you form a connection to them. A connection that can never be replaced by just putting a book in a virtual cart. Sure, there's the staff you get to know and form a relationship with, but I think it's more than that. When you find that perfect book in a store you don't just remember how much you love that book, you remember where you were when you found it. You remember hunting through the shelves of the store and stumbling across it. The whole experience of finding the book and reading the book becomes a precious memory and that memory couldn't exist without brick and mortar stores. So this summer I'm going to make brick and mortar shopping my rallying cry! I CAN NOT lose any more stores to Amazon or the fickle economy. I am going to share with you the stores that I love and the books I found there. From local stores I frequent regularly, to the stores located regionally that I plan my excursions around, to stores I've visited once or twice on vacation that are located farther afield, and to the independent bookstores I've only ever dealt with online but hope to one day visit. Let's get this party started! Go out there and start shopping people!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Amazon, B.Dalton, Books, Bookstores, Borders, Boston Store, Brick and Mortar Stores, Fast Food, Independent Bookstores, Memories, Memory, Online, Shopping, Store Closings, Support Your Brick and Mortar, Toys 'R' Us

Ah, YA. I remember when you used to be a very small section near the Children's books and then slowly rose claiming more and more shelf space in bookstores until you were victorious and practically the entire second floor of Borders. In fact some of my favorite books and indeed many of my favorite series that I currently read are YA. I can't describe how fascinating it was to have watched this development. I think it's akin to when teenagers became a word back in the late thirties. They were always there, always present, but not quite fully formed because there wasn't a brand, a label that explained exactly what they were. And then one day, they were teenagers. And then one day, there were books for teenagers. And then a little while later, there was YA. Books written just for these young adults, but really, there are a lot of adults that read them to, because books and book genres shouldn't define your reading habits or shame you. OK, so that might have gotten a little ranty, but the truth is, YA books are so well written that most authors are fighting to release books in this genre. In fact, just a two summers ago I reveled in reading YA series for that whole summer. I read books by authors I hope never to read again, but I also found authors that I love so much I'm now a convert to anything they write. Therefore when looking at this current summer I realized I couldn't skip a YA section. There are just too many YA books out there that I want to read and not enough time! So I hope you'll join me with these final four books to end Backlog Bonanza with a bang.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Backlog Bonanza, Bookstores, Borders, Cassandra Clare, Children, Leigh Bardugo, Summer, Summer Series, Teenagers, YA, Young Adult

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (Bridget Jones Book 2) by Helen Fielding
Published by: Penguin
Publication Date: 1999
Format: Paperback, 338 Pages
Rating: ★★★★
To Buy (different edition then one reviewed)

Bridget Jones might finally have the man of her dreams, but Bridget is still Bridget and a happily ever after ending is hard to achieve when you are very good at self sabotage. Quickly loosing Mark Darcy and one again becoming a love pariah is exactly what you'd expect Bridget to do, and she does it with style. But luckily while her love life might be taking a hit... was that the evil Rebecca with Mark? Bridget's job prospects might be on the rise with a potential interview with none other then the "real" Mr. Darcy, Colin Firth! In Italy of all places! Well... he does live in Italy, but still, it seems so romantic and surely once he's met Bridget he will see that he has found his soul mate... now if Bridget could just get his shirt moistened. Though a vacation that turns into an international scandal might be just what's needed to get Bridget and Mark back together again.

Back to that fateful weekend when I started to devour the Bridget Jones oeuvre (read previous review for the background). I remember driving to Borders to pick up the book and having a run in with the manager. I had had the shit kicked out of me by Samuel Beckett and the manager there, well, he was a pompus jackass if ever their was one and I wasn't going to take his shit. The only joy I get out of Borders going out of business is seeing him sometimes around town in menial positions far below his "highness" at Borders and smiling... yes, sometimes right at him. The fight was a fight I had been having with him for awhile. It's corporate policy and city policy that non-service dogs can't be in stores that sell food, like Borders does with it's cafe. I should note that I have nothing against dogs, aside from severe allergies, but when you're in a bookstore and want to get that copy of Edge of Reason and there's a guy with his dog with a bag of dog poop in one hand and a book in the other... well, you complain. And then you storm out without getting the book... and yeah, things escalate quickly. So besides having the shit repeatedly kicked out of me, getting a copy of this book was an adventure in itself. There were tears.

Bridget herself had an ill advised adventure in Edge of Reason too. That first time I read this book the whole Bridget being arrested for drug possession in Thailand and then becoming queen of the prison overshadowed everything. Well, that and the fact that in the book it says that MI-5 helped Mark... well, MI-5 is for domestic not international disputes, so, this error really really annoyed me. In fact, this scene, which upon re-reading is so short and brief, I can't come to terms as to why it bothered me so much. Maybe it's just the quintessential Britishness of Bridget and her being in Thailand seemed out of place. Or over the years the mildly related second movie has so eclipsed the book in it's badness that upon picking up the book again I realized how fresh and funny it was, unlike the movie which just might be the worst film ever made. It also helps if you are trying to avoid reading the worst Doctor Who book ever written, just saying...

Taking it's plot from Jane Austen's Persuasion, the misunderstandings and the reconciliations hang off this basic spine, but it's the little things I love. The battle with the construction worker, and who hasn't had a worker show up and destroy your house and then disappear into the aether? That Colin Firth interview, seriously, that would be me interviewing Colin Firth! Also, the movie he's promoting isn't actually that bad, a little weird and it was renamed My Life So Far if you want to check it out, you'll learn a lot about curling and sphagnum moss. But it's Bridget's just, well, not obtuseness, but, she's a romantic, so she lives in hope but it is in fact her hopelessness that makes this book such a fun read. Also the whole taking self help books as spiritualism... it really is quite clever and it is a new religion. Long live Bridget Jones, the girl able to turn her problems into a system of belief.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: An Excess of Chicks, Borders, Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones's Diary, Chick Lit, Colin Firth, Helen Fielding, Jane Austen, MI-5, MI-6, Mr. Darcy, Persuasion, Thailand, The Edge of Reason

This summer George R R Martin is back in the news for FINALLY writing the 5th installment of his epic of Westeros, A Song of Fire and Ice. I remember a day back in November of 2006 when he said, oh, six months tops... six long years later... but back to that day six years ago. So, freak that I am, I preordered the book from Amazon UK, because the book was coming out a few weeks earlier. I had it shipped to my friend Jess in New York because I was going to be visiting her at the time, plus, quicker to ship to New York than Wisconsin. I lugged that book from New York to DC and through Ohio. I read it on trains and buses and in cars. I read and read and read so that I would be ready for his talk when he came to Madison in November. Ironically, his talk was spoiler free, so, there goes all that planning for nothing, but at least I could say how much I loved the book right? So, on the day of the signing little did I know that they where handing out numbers starting at 8AM. In I walk for the 7PM talk around 5. Thinking, oh, this is great, I'll be all early and get a low number. Low number ha! First off, my friend who was going to go with me was sick, so I was on my lonesome. Then I had to pick up his book for him so that I could get MY book signed (I don't think he's ever paid me to this day). And then I realized, wow, no chairs. I stood in the B section of the YA books overlooking the podium. Good place as places go, but... no chair. I remember idly flipping through Libba Bray's A Great and Terrible Beauty. I think once Martin finally took the floor he did a reading, I really don't remember much of the talk. I remember him going into detail about how to correctly pronounce the characters names, but other than that... I seem to have completely blanked on everything else he said.

But, then again, I could have completely blanked because it was a short talk followed by hours of waiting. While not at the very end, I didn't get my book signed till at least 11PM. I spent my time studying a book called the GRE for Dummies because I was thinking of going back to Grad school to be an art appraiser and auctioneer for Christie's in New York and needed to take the GRE, which I did the next month. But Martin was very nice, he signed my book with the token "Enjoy the Feast" and it was commented on how I couldn't wait, hence the British edition. So, in the end, not the most fun of talks, but again, an author that has become even bigger and having a personalized book with a wait that is nothing compared to his current signings, it was a good day.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 2 comments  

Labels: A Feast for Crows, A Great and Terrible Beauty, A Song of Fire and Ice, Borders, Christie's, GRE, GRRM, Libba Bray

With my parents owning a publishing company, as a kid I was dragged to many a book signing. Mainly for books I would never read or want too, especially when I was 10. I do remember being excited about a book of cows, but that's the only one that sticks out, plus I just sold it the other day. There are pictures of me at signings, usually just my hand, because my brother being littler was always being carried so I had a tendency to be cropped out, as it where. The first talk/signing I can remember choosing to go to was Norman Juster. If I where to base my experience on this talk, I would probably never have gone to another. No two book signings are alike, and you really need to keep this in mind. Even the same author can give different levels of performance at different locations. Author tours are grueling, a new city everyday and having to (hopefully) perform in front of a large number of people is draining, as is the jet lag.

So, back to Norman Juster. Back in the 90s (yes, it was that long ago), Norman went on a book tour to celebrate the 35th anniversary of his seminal children's classic, The Phantom Tollbooth. The year being 1996, I had yet to have a drivers license and therefore had to rely on others, ie the parents, for transport. This is really where things went wrong. Later, after certain lessons where learned, I would always arrive early and not be worried about being the first person to step up to the signing line. As it happened, we arrived well before Norman talked, just not early enough to get a seat, or even get a clear view of him. This was at our original Borders, the one I have fond memories of before they decided to get two stories instead of the one and then promptly went out of business. Problem was, the didn't have a speaking/signing area. He was jammed up against the windows between history and the beginning of fiction. I was on the other side of a wall in the children's section with it's garish clown theme trying to listen to the crackly intercom that was attempting to broadcast his reading.

At this point I should mention that my ride, ie mother, had some school party she had to go to, so I was also hoping that the reading wouldn't go on long, otherwise I would not get my book signed. These where also the barter days. I had a very elaborate barter system in place, instead of cash, I found people where more likely to pay up if it was something cheaper (in their eyes) than cash. I'd do house chores for Red Dwarf tapes, and I was able to get the 35th Anniversary copy of The Phantom Tollbooth by giving my old copy to my mom's library at the school I used to go to. So, score for me, new copy, hardcover, and signed... but at the rate the event was going, I was worried the signed part wasn't going to happen. It did happen, just not with me there. Before he had even finished reading it was time to depart, and I was really sad, but also, pretty pissed. Here's this author talking all about his world and how much he loves The Wizard of Oz, as did I, and where was I? Getting in a car to be dropped off at home. As luck would have it, my mother knew one of the eager children whose parents didn't have to depart early for cake, so he got me the signature. So, I have the book, but I didn't really have the best experience... it was an experience, I'll grant you that, just not the one I was hoping for. The next year I entered undergrad and my life as I knew it was gone... or should I say my free time? I quite literally did not go to another book signing till the year I graduated, but those stories are yet to come.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Borders, Norman Juster, Red Dwarf, The Phantom Tollbooth

Now, I really really wanted to do Hitchcock Hoot'nanny, Revenge of the Owls (ok, that title is too weird, but I was thinking, "hoot" and Birds, and that's where it went). But I kind of got drawn back into Westeros (aka George R. R. Martin land), and there I am. I haven't read the books in the six long and painful years I have been waiting... so a re-read is necessary to make A Dance with Dragons a joy verses a puzzle. I know you all know what I'm talking about, just trying to remember what happened to whom and when, sometimes the book becomes a hassle versus a joy, especially with the sheer number of characters Martin juggles. Well, to make a long story short (too late) I have not done the requisite reading of books that Hitchcock based his movies on, again, GRRM, each book is about 1000 pages, easy to see why (plus I've been interviewing for some internships and working on my resume and portfolio). So, I had another idea I've been kicking around. Now don't worry, Hitchcock will return when the time is right, ie, when I've read the books, but now it's time to unleash my newest idea.

Author August! I try to go to as many book signings as I can, especially if it's for an author that I love. But with the internet and the publishing industry in dire straits, just look to Borders, one day, the book tour of old might be gone. I will weep bitter bitter tears if this comes to pass. Some of my happiest memories are from my brief interactions with authors at these events. So this month is devoted to author events I have been to. Hopefully it will shine a light on why I love these authors and how you should immediately run out and buy all their books. But I also hope that, even if it's just me shouting into the void, I will show the few people who read this that I love this aspect of publishing. I love my Kindle, but if I had to choose, it would be a real tangible book that an author can sign. So never ever stop the author tour! Even if all Brick and Mortar stores are gone, there are festivals and coffee shops a plenty. I'm sure we will never be so desperate as to get ride of the coffee shops?

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: A Dance with Dragons, Book Signing, Borders, GRRM

A Dance with Dragons (A Song of Ice and Fire Book 5) by George R. R. Martin
Published by: Bantam
Publication Date: July 12th, 2011
Format: Hardcover, 1040 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy
Ok, so George, we have a problem. I know our relationship is very love hate. I love your books and hate how you make me wait. And wait. And wait and wait and wait. Yet I get it, the books are 1000 pages on average. I'm still pissed that back in 2005 when you talked at my local Borders you said this book would be out in about 6 months and it's been 6 years. Please, just don't make promises you can't keep and we'll be good. Yet last summer the tv show was awesome and the fact that the new book was coming out, it gave me hope again. I've been re-reading all your previous awesomeness and have to say, you are indeed, awesome. Yet... last night I finished A Dance with Dragons... I don't think it was awesome. I wanted to love it. I was full of joy and apprehension. I was warring with myself. This book should surely be 5 stars because I finally have it in my hands. Conversely... this book is not at all what I wanted, there's more cliffhangers, there's no resolution, this is really starting to piss me off, end already, it's going to be years till I get another one, damn you George -5 stars. So my joy and my expectations where clashing with the heavy tome in my lap. The conclusion I have reached is that the book has gotten away from Martin. In the previous installments I flew through the book, here I labored through. The writing just lack the sparkle, the wit, even Tyrion's jokes fell a little flat.

Warning, there is ranting a plenty to come, and I'm going to rant about all the things that annoyed me, so, there will be spoilers, basically for all the books. You are warned. If you don't want to know what happens, don't read on. But then again, most of the plots ended with cliffhangers, so, you won't be overly spoiled because I don't know what happens next in most cases.

Problem the first: "Words are Wind." How many times did we read this? This should have just been the title of the book because of it's prevalence. Martin belaboured this point so much I have come to the conclusion that it's his personal mantra. Every time he got an email or a note from his publisher yelling/begging/pleading for the next book, he would repeat to himself "words are wind." Because in the face of such strong harassment, you have to tune people out... but you don't need to write it on every page of your book!

Problem the second: Consistency. Yes we had cliffhangers, but we also had a beginning middle and end. I'll discount A Feast of Crows because it was really half a book. There was a satisfaction at the end of the books. War was declared, Winterfell was taken, Joffery died. With these big moments reached, the plot threads left dangling where acceptable. I can't think of one moment in all of A Dance with Dragons that gave me any feeling of completion. Any moment where I was at peace and a little bit more of the puzzle of the world of Westeros was solved. Instead I just have fifty million more questions. Which leads me to...

Problem the third: Cliffhangers. There are so many right now I'm about to scream. Despite the fact that we did get a few of the lesser cliffhangers from A Feast of Crows resolved, like Arya's blindness, which you could so tell was a test and wasn't really a cliffhanger in my mind, and Cersei being temporarily released from the Septons. Martin actually compounded some of the cliffhangers! What happened to Brienne, we don't know, but now she has Jamie as well. Great, cause I was SO looking forward to not knowing for at least another 6 years! Also, Margaery, if she is innocent, why call the banners, bring an army and how do you explain the moon tea? Also, Jon Snow, is he alive or dead, because he kind of just got Caesared. Will he be alive, will he be a warg living in Ghost, will he be like coldhands? Is coldhands Bejen Stark? Is Jojen going to be ok? Is someone ever going to call Bran out on jumping into people being bad? What exactly is greyscale, and how does it spread? Can it come back? How did Shireen get "cured?" Are the Red Priests prophesies always this accurate or is it because there are Dragons in the world again? Who is this "reanimated" Sir Robert? Is it Gregor Clegane? Did Stannis really die? Will we have to wait another two books to find out if Theon is alive like before? Davos finally got interesting and then nothing on his search for Tommen! Also, what really happened with the doom of Valeria? Was it dragons that brought it on or something else? As you can see... I need to sit in a room with Geogre R R Martin and just hash this out. I did have an hour long conversation with my friend Matt, and that did help a little.

Problem the forth: Daenerys. Why is she hanging out in Slaver's Bay dealing with all these politics I couldn't care less for? At least she started riding Drogon at the end so hopefully she'll just go and torch the place and that will be the end of that. As for the other two dragons... it pissed me off that they spent all this time locked away. Set them free! Who cares about the carnage, they like living in hollowed out pyramids with fighting pits full of sheep to snack on.

I'm sure all these problems will melt away like the snow in front of Melisandre once the next book comes out, because as I recall, I didn't much like A Feast for Crows the first time and this time I loved it... I just pray it's not another six years.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: A Dance with Dragons, A Feast for Crows, A Song of Fire and Ice, Borders, Daenerys, Dragons, George R.R. Martin, Greyscale, Red Priests, Valeria, Westeros

First Among Sequels: Thursday Next Novel the 5th by Jasper Fforde
Published by: Viking
Publication Date: January 24th, 2007
Format: Hardcover, 362 Pages
Rating: ★★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

A lot has changed in the twelve years since we last saw Thursday Next. She now is the star of five books, the first four being very well received due to the sex and violence, while the touchy-feely fifth book is remaindered. But not that her being a star of books matters with the continuing plummet of outland reader rates. The world has changed, why read books when there's reality tv suited for those with short attention spans. The world Thursday knew and loved is gone. Bookstores are more likely to have video games and coffee shops than any books. The new and efficient government has made Spec Ops obsolete as a government entity. So Thursday runs a carpeting business that's a front for her old Spec Ops unit, which is run on proceeds from illegal cheese sales, which in itself is a front for still working at Jurisfiction. None of which she tells her husband, Landen. The years are catching up to Thursday, even book jumping is harder and harder. She has two teenagers, one of which is a sullen boy who should have joined the Chronoguard awhile back to assure the future and the discovery of time travel, but of course, try telling a teenager that the world depends on him actually leaving his bed. Not to mention a big old baddie from the past shows up. Felix8. Aornis Hades might know what's going on, as unlike other members of the Hades family, she's easy to access seeing as she's being detained in an eight minute time loop at a check out lane at T.J. Maxx. Of course, villains rarely agree to help.

While in the book world Thursday is training both her book counterparts, the leather clad Thursday1-4 and the patchouli loving Thursday5. Neither of which will ever make a good agent. Thursday5 has a sweet heart, but she almost got Thursday killed by the Minotaur. Whereas Thursday1-4 is nothing but bad news, dropping a piano right into the plot of Jane Austen's Emma. Also there are signs that Goliath, the evil mega corporation, is working once again on breaking into books. Traffic between the two worlds is a no no. The crashing together of the two worlds, fiction with reality, could tear the very fabric of the book world apart. And that's just what the current government wants to do. They want to take Pride and Prejudice and make it a reality show. But not just any reality show, one within the book, so once changed, the story will be changed forever and one of the classics will be gone, never to return. Of course, they're not thinking of the bigger picture. What with government stupidity, corporate pigheadedness and death threats on characters within the bookworld, besides Thursday herself, it's a wonder that anything turns out right.

After getting to the final page in this book I have to say I'm glad I waited to read it till I had the next book in hand. The bigger conspiracy working within the bookworld that is targeting Thursday, and other characters, such as Temperance Brennan, making a much needed cameo, is starting to pick up speed and the pieces from all five of the current stories seem to be weaving together to create a larger threat. While the plot was still extremely convoluted and filled with techno babble, the little literary in jokes, not to mention the return of the bookworld, made this a far more enjoyable read than the previous installment. Mrs. Bennet needing to be restrained in a closet, the real reason for the appearance of the piano in Emma, to Bones' cameo in the back story of a P.G. Wodehouse novel were pure delight to my bookworm brain. Also the true meaning of what "T.J. Maxx" stands for is priceless, whereas the real reason for Aornis' imprisonment is heartbreaking.

The one thing I really didn't like though is the person Thursday has become. What with three very different incarnations of her walking about the pages of this book, you realize that yes, you don't want the two written extremes, but you don't really want the real Thursday either. She's a workaholic, she lies to the man she fought tooth and nail to have reactualized, and she does illegal dealings in order to keep this on track, all the while leaving other people to clean up her mess. She has not aged that gracefully, even if she can still kick ass, you have to ask, at what expense? And on a final note, the falling reader rates and the lack of book sales rings sadly true, what with Borders declaring bankruptcy, and while giving the book a poignancy, it brings such a sadness to me. I asked for a little literary escapism, to literal truths.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Aornis Hades, Borders, Chronoguard, Emma, Felix8, First Among Sequels, Jane Austen, Jasper Fforde, Mrs. Bennet, Pride and Prejudice, Spec Ops, T.J. Maxx, Thursday Next, Thursday1-4, Thursday5