The 24th Hour by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro
Published by: Little Brown and Company
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 368 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"A serial killer is rampaging all over San Francisco, and someone is trying to kill the Women's Murder Club. Will Cindy, Claire, Yuki and young mother Lindsay still be standing when the clock strikes midnight?
SFPD Sergeant Lindsay Boxer, Medical Examiner Claire Washburn, Assistant District Attorney Yuki Castellano, and crime writer Cindy Thomas gather at one of San Francisco's finest restaurants to celebrate exciting news: Cindy is getting married.
Before they can raise their glasses, there's a disturbance in the restaurant. A woman has been assaulted.
Claire examines the victim. Lindsay makes an arrest. Yuki takes the case. Cindy covers it.
The legal strategy is complicated by gaps in the plaintiff's memory - and the shocking reason behind her ever-changing testimony.
As Yuki leads the prosecution, Lindsay chases down a high-society killer whose target practice may leave the Women's Murder Club short a bridesmaid...or two."
Always here for the Women's Murder Club. Always.
The Return of Ellie Black by Emiko Jean
Published by: Simon and Schuster
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 320 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Detective Chelsey Calhoun's life is turned upside down when she gets the call Ellie Black, a girl who disappeared years earlier, has resurfaced in the woods of Washington state - but Ellie's reappearance leaves Chelsey with more questions than answers.
It's been twenty years since Detective Chelsey Calhoun's sister vanished when they were teenagers, and ever since she's been searching: for signs, for closure, for other missing girls. But happy endings are rare in Chelsey's line of work.
Then a glimmer: local teenager Ellie Black, who disappeared without a trace two years earlier, has been found alive in the woods of Washington State.
But something is not right with Ellie. She won't say where she's been, or who she's protecting, and it's up to Chelsey to find the answers. She needs to get to the bottom of what happened to Ellie: for herself, and for the memory of her sister, but mostly for the next girl who could be taken - and who, unlike Ellie, might never return.
The debut thriller from New York Times bestselling author Emiko Jean, The Return of Ellie Black is both a feminist tour de force about the embers of hope that burn in the aftermath of tragedy and a twisty page-turner that will shock and surprise you right up until the final page."
I'm always here for mysterious disappearances and reappearances.
Disturbing the Dead by Kelley Armstrong
Published by: Minotaur Books
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 352 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Disturbing the Dead is the latest in a unique series with one foot in the 1860s and the other in the present day. The Rip Through Time crime novels are a genre-blending, atmospheric romp from New York Times bestselling author Kelley Armstrong.
Victorian Scotland is becoming less strange to modern-day homicide detective Mallory Atkinson. Though inhabiting someone else's body will always be unsettling, even if her employers know that she's not actually housemaid Catriona Mitchell, ever since the night both of them were attacked in the same dark alley 150 years apart. Mallory likes her job as assistant to undertaker/medical examiner Dr. Duncan Gray, and is developing true friends - and feelings - in this century.
So, understanding the Victorian fascination with death, Mallory isn't that surprised when she and her friends are invited to a mummy unwrapping at the home of Sir Alastair Christie. When their host is missing when it comes time to unwrap the mummy, Gray and Mallory are asked to step in. And upon closer inspection, it's not a mummy they've unwrapped, but a much more modern body."
I mean, I love this series, but I love mummy unwrappings even more. So this is win win.
The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley
Published by: Avid Reader Press / Simon and Schuster
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 352 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"A time travel romance, a spy thriller, and an ingenious exploration of the nature of power and the potential for love to change it all: Welcome to The Ministry of Time, the exhilarating debut novel by Kaliane Bradley
In the near future, a civil servant is offered the salary of her dreams and is, shortly afterward, told what project she'll be working on. A recently established government ministry is gathering "expats" from across history to establish whether time travel is feasible - for the body, but also for the fabric of space-time.
She is tasked with working as a "bridge" living with, assisting, and monitoring the expat known as "1847" or Commander Graham Gore. As far as history is concerned, Commander Gore died on Sir John Franklin's doomed 1845 expedition to the Arctic, so he's a little disoriented to be living with an unmarried woman who regularly shows her calves, surrounded by outlandish concepts such as "washing machines," "Spotify," and "the collapse of the British Empire." But with an appetite for discovery, a seven-a-day cigarette habit, and the support of a charming and chaotic cast of fellow expats, he soon adjusts.
Over the next year, what the bridge initially thought would be, at best, a horrifically uncomfortable roommate dynamic, evolves into something much deeper. By the time the true shape of the Ministry's project comes to light, the bridge has fallen haphazardly, fervently in love, with consequences she never could have imagined. Forced to confront the choices that brought them together, the bridge must finally reckon with how - and whether she believes - what she does next can change the future.
An exquisitely original and feverishly fun fusion of genres and ideas, The Ministry of Time asks: What does it mean to defy history, when history is living in your house? Kaliane Bradley's answer is a blazing, unforgettable testament to what we owe each other in a changing world."
Only seven cigarettes a day? Amateur. My grandmother was three packs!
Red Side Story by Jasper Fforde
Published by: Soho Press
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 480 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"The long-awaited follow-up to the New York Times bestselling Shades of Grey - in an Exclusive Edition for North American readers, complete with a never-before-published short story.
Welcome to Chromatacia, where life is strictly regulated by one's limited color perception. Civilization has been rebuilt after an unspoken "Something that Happened" five hundred years before. Society is now color vision-segregated, everything dictated by an individual's visual ability, and governed by the shadowy National Color in far-off Emerald City.
Twenty-year-old Eddie Russett, a Red, is about to go on trial for a murder he didn't commit, and he's pretty certain to be sent on a one-way trip to the Green Room for execution by soporific color exposure. Meanwhile, he's engaged in an illegal relationship with his co-defendant, a Green, the charismatic and unpredictable Jane Grey. Negotiating the narrow boundaries of the Rules within their society, they search for a loophole - some truth of their world that has been hidden from its hyper-policed citizens.
New York Times bestselling author Jasper Fforde returns to his fan-favorite Shades of Grey series with this wildly anticipated, laugh-out-loud funny and darkly satirical adventure about two star-crossed lovers on a quest to survive - even if it means upending their entire society in the process."
This has many of the answers you have been seeking for many many long years.
Nonna Maria and the Cast of the Lost Treasure by Lorenzo Carcaterra
Published by: Bantam
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 288 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"As Nonna Maria's longtime pal and sometimes colleague, Captain Murino, in charge of the local carabinieri, never wanted to see harm brought to the doorstep of everyone's favorite espresso-brewing, counsel-giving amateur sleuth. But when you live a long life, you're bound to make a few enemies. And when those enemies come calling, you have to rely on friends. Faced with an assassin seeking revenge for a decades-old grudge, Captain Murino has no choice but to turn to Maria, who must use all her neighborly resources, clever faculties, and web of connections to save him from his perilous predicament.
On the other side of the island, a second mystery begins to unfold at the deathbed of another of Maria's old friends, as he hands his granddaughter a yellowed map and tells her of a treasure to be found in one of Ischia's secret caverns. However, there are traps and pitfalls. There will be others with sinister motives who will do all they can to make the treasure their own. But this map is a guide - the only gift he has to give. When the granddaughter needs help cracking the code, she turns to her grandfather's most trusted friend: Nonna Maria.
From battling foes in medieval castles to exploring the notorious caverns where smugglers hide their goods, Nonna Maria and her friends - some old, some new - embark on their most swashbuckling adventure yet."
Nonna Maria has a lot on her plate from old friends this time around.
Star Struck by Marjorie McCown
Published by: Crooked Lane Books
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 368 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Perfect for fans of Elle Cosimano and Kellye Garrett, in this second Hollywood mystery, film costumer Joey Jessop discovers that Hollywood buries its secrets deep when a superstar's assistant turns up dead.
Costumer Joey Jessop is working on a movie set in 1930s Hollywood and starring two of the world's biggest stars. The male lead is also a dedicated social activist, and the female lead, Gillian Best, is known for her lifestyle brand. After a hit-and-run near the set, Joey realizes that the car involved belongs to Gillian, and she begins to wonder if the actress has more to hide than her Botox appointments.
Her suspicions deepen when Gillian's personal assistant, Rita, vows to get revenge for Gillian replacing her and is found dead shortly after. Gillian quickly labels Rita's death a suicide, and the police seem to agree - but Joey isn't so sure.
With the police standing aside, it's up to Joey to dig up the truth - but Hollywood stars know how to keep their secrets close, and a woman like Gillian Best won't take kindly to someone sniffing around her affairs. Joey is certain that Gillian has something to hide - and she's determined to find out what."
I think for a movie set in the 1930s you should go method. AKA no Botox.
The Suspicions of Mr Whisker by Mandy Morton
Published by: Farrago
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Kindle, 368 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Hettie Bagshot and Tilly Jenkins are hired to investigate a spate of mysterious deaths at Mr Whisker's Academy for Wayward Cats.
Hettie Bagshot and Tilly Jenkins are hired to investigate a spate of mysterious deaths at Mr Whisker's Academy for Wayward Cats. Before Tilly even opens her notebook, the hockey mistress is brutally murdered on the playing field.
Faced with an increasing body count, our feline detectives sharpen their claws and set out to catch a serial killer. Did Pomadora Moseley really murder her family on the rollercoaster at Butlins? Is Clara Toddlebury's Country Dance Class under threat? And why does Mr Whisker lock himself in his headmaster's study?
Join Hettie and Tilly as they chalk up another case, revealing a school full of scandal, a dormitory of death and the latest Butters' pie filling."
Best. Title. EVER!
Korgi: The Complete Tale by Christian Slade
Published by: Top Shelf Productions
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Paperback, 584 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"The beloved wordless fantasy graphic novel is now collected in a single epic volume! Fall in love with the wondrous world of Korgi Hollow, packed with thrills, laughs, and exquisitely illustrated animal magic.
One of the most adorable comics of our time now arrives in a bookshelf edition for all time. When day breaks in their woodland village, Ivy and her corgi pup, Sprout, have no idea that they'll soon be swept up in an astonishing adventure! Soon they'll journey across land, sea, and air, from past to present and beyond, to learn more about themselves, escape the forces of evil, and uncover the ancient mysteries behind their magical world. The sumptuously detailed pen-and-ink drawings of former Disney animator Christian Slade make every page a joy to behold, using the power of "silent comics" to bring every moment wordlessly to life for readers of all ages. What's more, this deluxe softcover collection includes not only all five Korgi graphic novels but also every bonus short story previously exclusive to comic books. The result is a complete fantasy epic that is truly timeless."
Everyone loves corgis right?
Sipsworth by Simon Van Booy
Published by: David R. Godine Publisher
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 240 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Over the course of two weeks in a small English town, a reclusive widow discovers an unexpected reason to live.
Following the loss of her husband and son, Helen Cartwright returns to the village of her childhood after living abroad for six decades. Her only wish is to die quickly and without fuss. She retreats into her home on Westminster Crescent, becoming a creature of routine and habit: "Each day was an impersonation of the one before with only a slight shuffle - as though even for death there is a queue."
Then, one cold winter night, a chance encounter with a mouse sets Helen on a surprising journey.
Sipsworth is a reminder that there can be second chances. No matter what we have planned for ourselves, sometimes life has plans of its own. With profound compassion, Simon Van Booy illuminates not only a deep friendship forged between two lonely creatures, but the reverberations of goodness that ripple out from that unique bond."
Always here for life-affirming rodents!
The Brides of High Hill by Nghi Vo
Published by: Tordotcom
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 128 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Nghi Vo's Hugo Award-winning Singing Hills Cycle returns with a standalone Gothic mystery that unfolds in the empire of Ahn.
The Cleric Chih accompanies a beautiful young bride to her wedding to the aging ruler of a crumbling estate situated at the crossroads of dead empires. The bride's party is welcomed with elaborate courtesies and extravagant banquets, but between the frightened servants and the cryptic warnings of the lord's mad son, they quickly realize that something is haunting the shadowed halls.
As Chih and the bride-to-be explore empty rooms and desolate courtyards, they are drawn into the mystery of what became of Lord Guo's previous wives and the dark history of Do Cao itself. But as the wedding night draws to its close, Chih will learn at their peril that not all monsters are to be found in the shadows; some monsters hide in plain sight."
I mean, I love this series, but a standalone Gothic? HELL YES!
Beastly Beauty by Jennifer Donnelly
Published by: Scholastic Press
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 336 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"From New York Times bestselling, award-winning author Jennifer Donnelly comes a revolutionary, gender-swapped retelling of Beauty and the Beast that will forever change how you think about beauty, power, and what it really means to follow your heart.
What makes a girl "beastly?" Is it having too much ambition? Being too proud? Taking up too much space? Or is it just wanting something, anything, too badly?
That's the problem Arabella faces when she makes her debut in society. Her parents want her to be sweet and compliant so she can marry well, but try as she might, Arabella can't extinguish the fire burning inside her - the source of her deepest wishes, her wildest dreams.
When an attempt to suppress her emotions tragically backfires, a mysterious figure punishes Arabella with a curse, dooming her and everyone she cares about, trapping them in the castle. As the years pass, Arabella abandons hope. The curse is her fault - after all, there's nothing more "beastly" than a girl who expresses her anger - and the only way to break it is to find a boy who loves her for her true self: a cruel task for a girl who's been told she's impossible to love.
When a handsome thief named Beau makes his way into the castle, the captive servants are thrilled, convinced he is the one to break the curse. But Beau - spooked by the castle's strange and forbidding ladies-in-waiting, and by the malevolent presence that stalks its corridors at night - only wants to escape. He learned long ago that love is only an illusion. If Beau and Arabella have any hope of breaking the curse, they must learn to trust their wounded hearts, and realize that the cruelest prisons of all are the ones we build for ourselves."
I've been guilty of building a prison or two for myself.
Love, Lies, and Cherry Pie by Jackie Lau
Published by: Atria Books
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Paperback, 416 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"Jackie Lau, author of the "full of heart" (Ali Hazelwood, New York Times bestselling author) The Stand-Up Groomsman, returns with a charming rom-com about a young woman's desperate attempts to fend off her meddling mother...only to find that maybe mother does know best.
Mark Chan this. Mark Chan that.
Writer and barista Emily Hung is tired of hearing about the great Mark Chan, the son of her parents' friends. You'd think he single-handedly stopped climate change and ended child poverty from the way her mother raves about him. But in reality, he's just a boring, sweater-vest-wearing engineer, and when they're forced together at Emily's sister's wedding, it's obvious he thinks he's too good for her.
But now that Emily is her family's last single daughter, her mother is fixated on getting her married and she has her sights on Mark. There's only one solution, clearly: convince Mark to be in a fake relationship with her long enough to put an end to her mom's meddling. He reluctantly agrees.
Unfortunately, lying isn't enough. Family friends keep popping up at their supposed dates - including a bubble tea shop and cake-decorating class - so they'll have to spend more time together to make their relationship look real. With each fake date, though, Emily realizes that Mark's not quite what she assumed and maybe that argyle sweater isn't so ugly after all..."
Never judge a guy by his sweater.
Shanghailanders by Juli Min
Published by: Spiegel and Grau
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 288 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"A dazzling and ambitious debut novel that follows a cosmopolitan Shanghai household backward in time - beginning in 2040 and moving through our present and the recent past - exploring their secrets, their losses, and the ways a family makes and remakes itself across the years.
2040: Wealthy real estate investor Leo Yang - handsome, distinguished, a real Shanghai man - is on the train back to the city after seeing his family off at the airport. His sophisticated Japanese-French wife, Eko, and their two eldest children, Yumi and Yoko, are headed for Boston, though one daughter's revelation will soon reroute them to Paris. 2039: Kiko, their youngest daughter and an aspiring actress, decides to pursue fame at any cost, like her icon Marilyn Monroe. 2038: Yumi comes to Yoko in need, after a college-dorm situation at Harvard goes disastrously wrong.
As the years rewind to 2014, Shanghailanders brings readers into the shared and separate lives of the Yang family parent by parent, daughter by daughter, and through the eyes of the people in their orbit - a nanny from the provinces, a private driver with a penchant for danger, and a grandmother whose memories of the past echo the present. We glimpse a future where the city's waters rise and the specter of apocalypse is never far off. But in Juli Min's hands, we also see that whatever may change, universal constants remain: love is complex, life is not fair, and family will always be stubbornly connected by blood, secrets, and longing.
Brilliantly constructed and achingly resonant, Shanghailanders is an unforgettable exploration of marriage, relationships, and the layered experience of time."
I love books that explore time differently.
You Never Know by Tom Selleck
Published by: Dey Street Books
Publication Date: May 7th, 2024
Format: Hardcover, 352 Pages
To Buy
The official patter:
"There are many miles from the business school and basketball court at the University of Southern California to 50 million viewers for the final episode of a TV show called Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck has lived every one of those miles in his own iconoclastic and joyful way.
Frank, funny and open-hearted, You Never Know is an intimate memoir from one of the most beloved actors of our time, the highly personal story of a remarkable life and thoroughly accidental career. In his own voice and uniquely unpretentious style, the famed actor brings readers on his uncharted but serendipitous journey to the top in Hollywood, his temptations and distractions, his misfires and mistakes and, over time, his well-earned success. Along the way, he clears up an armload of misconceptions and shares dozens of never-told stories from all corners of his personal and professional life. His rambunctious California childhood. His clueless arrival as a good-looking college jock in Hollywood (from the Dating Game to the Fox New Talent Program to co-starring with Mae West and escorting her to black-tie social functions). What it was like to emerge as a mega-star in his mid-thirties and remain so for decades to come, an actor whose authenticity and ease in front of the camera connected with audiences worldwide while embodying and also redefining the clichés of onscreen manhood.
In You Never Know, Selleck recounts his personal friendships with a vivid army of A-listers, everyone from Frank Sinatra to Carol Burnett to Sam Elliott, paying special tribute to his mentor James Garner of The Rockford Files, who believed, like Selleck, that TV protagonists are far more interesting when they have rough edges. He also more than tips his hat to the American western and the scruffy band of actors, directors and other ruffians who helped define that classic genre, where Selleck has repeatedly found a happy home. Magnum fans will be fascinated to learn how Selleck put his career on the line to make Thomas Magnum a more imperfect hero and explains why he walked away from a show that could easily have gone on for years longer.
Hollywood is never easy, even for stars who make it look that way. In You Never Know, Selleck explains how he's struggled to balance his personal and professional lives, frequently adjusting his career to protect his family's privacy and normalcy. His journey offers a truly fresh perspective on a changing industry and a changing world. Beneath all the charm and talent and self-deprecating humor, Selleck's memoir reveals an American icon who has reached remarkable heights by always insisting on being himself."
Does he talk about his moustache? Because if he doesn't what's the point of this book?
My Dad has issues with the first episode of TV shows. He doesn't like to spend the time getting to know the lay of the land. He wants the story to just start immediately without bothering to learn character names or relationships or any details that might be relevant. No matter how many times I explain that this worldbuilding is important for the audience to form a relationship with the characters which will pay off in later episodes he almost always will declare by episode two that "this episode is so much better." Sigh. It's a cross I will forever bear. On the other hand, his weird predilection for being thrown into a story with no context means that Queenie should have been the show for him. It wasn't. I don't know who this show is for. I tuned in because of the commentary on how calling Queenie the black Bridget Jones was doing the show a disservice. And it is, because one bunny suit and Sally Phillips does not make this Bridget Jones. In fact I would willingly watch the abysmal Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason several times versus watch this show again. This show is just so depressing. Queenie wallows in bad life decisions as a result of not dealing with trauma. A trauma whose reveal is drawn out so long that you think it has to be really bad, sexual abuse, physical abuse, something earth-shattering. Well, let me save you the trouble of having to watch this piece of shit. Her mother left her alone so that her partner wouldn't hurt Queenie. Now, yes, you can have severe abandonment issues which lead to relationship problems later in life, but compared with what was happening with her mother and what could have happened to her, Queenie comes across as an entitled bitch who might just be the most self-centered character I've ever seen in a television show. A show that every aspect of it is a mess. First, there's just the confusion that is this show. You don't know who anyone is and therefore you don't care. The texts and memes and messages that flash up on the screen are too quickly removed to be read and are in such color and font choices that they can't be read even if you cared to. Everything is just whirling confusion. The visuals of this series are just a mess. But I guess they compliment the mess that is my second point, the characters are a mess and I hate them all. Queenie is not likable. She's not relatable. At eight episodes this felt like it was a hundred, half of them wallowing in shit and then half of them trying to get out of that shit. Oh, and how does she get out of that shit? By being a hypocrite and taking money from her mother who she won't talk to. And as for her job that she royally fucks up by having sex with a married coworker on the bathroom floor, what is it? What does Queenie actually do other than make bad life choices? I have no idea what her job is. And worse, I don't care. This show was about a miserable person who makes horrible decisions and then gets rewarded for admitting she needs therapy? Just no. All the no. These actors deserved better. Oh, and Cabbage Patch Kids weren't out in 1979. 
Death in Castle Dark by Veronica Bond
Murder Always Barks Twice by Jennifer Hawkins
Escape to Honeysuckle Hall by Rebecca Raisin
Her Heart for a Compass by Sarah Ferguson
A Lesson in Vengeance by Victoria Lee
Where the Truth Lies by Anna Bailey
Marion Lane and the Midnight Murder by T.A. Willberg
To Fetch a Felon by Jennifer Hawkins
The Dark Archive by Genevieve Cogman
Well, for those who don't know me that well, or haven't been following me for that long, Monday was my birthday! Same as Alfred Hitchcock, yo. So, yeah me... I guess... seems weird to be applauding yourself, like at awards shows when nominees applaud themselves, you think, wow, now there's someone who thinks highly of themselves. So, whatever, yeah me, I'm a year older, yadda yadda. Also, this blog is very much, well, yes, me, but more, how other's works effect me. Literature filtered through a Miss Eliza shaped brain. Therefore, while I do talk about myself, I'm mainly talking about things that others have done or written. So for a change, the reason I'm talking about me, besides the whole birthday, is, I figured, I've made everyone else answer my silly Steampunk questions, it seems only right I answer them myself! Therefore, in honor of the day my mom gave birth in a horrible heatwave in the 70s, I present, my Steampunky brain, unfiltered.
Question: How do you take your tea? 
