Book Review - Jessica Ward's The St. Ambrose School for Girls
The St. Ambrose School for Girls by Jessica Ward
Published by: Entangled: Gallery Books
Publication Date: July 11th, 2023
Format: Kindle, 368 Pages
Rating: ★★★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)
St. Ambrose School for Girls has two types of girls, the ones who play sports, and the ones who dress like getting a date is their sport even though there are no boys around to compete over. Sarah Taylor's black wardrobe and matte dyed black hair are tailor made to repel either type of girl. It's better to be the one who shuts the door than the one who gets the door shut in their face. But that doesn't mean she won't be subjected to petty pranks inflicted for fun by Queen Bee Greta Stanhope and her backup band of suck-ups. What looks like minor injuries to others have the potential to be bombs that do structural damage, creating ragged gaps in Sarah's ability to function that she doesn't have the resources to patch. Because Sarah is walking a tightrope. She's on lithium to keep herself regulated, to make sure she doesn't try to eat an entire bottle of Tylenol again. She has been diagnosed as bipolar with mania and when she crashes she crashes hard. So while St. Ambrose might be a fresh start it is also a proving ground. Thankfully she has an ally, her roommate, Ellen "Strots" Strotsberry, a superstar athlete whose parents' funds the school will do anything to keep flowing, even looking the other way as Strots smokes in her room while extinguishing the butts in her soda bottles. While Strots might be sporty, the fact that she is a lesbian makes her an outsider. Her and Sarah are different, there is no place for them in this world and that means that they must band together. And Strots has had her run-ins with Greta. But Greta will soon will be dethroned as her battered body is found on school grounds. Everyone had a reason to want Greta gone, but soon the Hot RA, Nick Hollis, becomes the prime suspect. Nick has helped Sarah and she doesn't want to believe that he is capable of this crime so she starts digging. The danger though is that it brings out the worst in her, sleuthing is food for the caged beast of her illness, the possibilities and permutations nothing but raw meat dangled just outside of the bars, enticing and somewhat necessary for its survival. She has to trust her instincts but what happens when your illness has taken away all your credibility?
This is a different kind of dark academia. The St. Ambrose School for Girls is about the stifling and deadly environment of a girls boarding school. And for those who doubt just how dangerous teenage girls are, well, you obviously weren't raised a girl. There is no group crueler or more deadly. Doubt me, watch Yellowjackets sometime, it's more documentary than drama. And thrust into this hive is poor Sarah. Sarah is compelling on so many levels. I can see why some people didn't like this book, being in Sarah's head is a lot to handle. But at the same time it's fascinating, there are parts of her that are like any teenage girl, the rambling intrusive thoughts we all get, the loves and lusts. Who amongst us hasn't fallen for a teacher or TA or RA? As a young student it's usually a safe crush, because the majority of humans aren't creeps willing to exploit that. But this is dark academia... So of course the Hot RA is going to be a creep. She really should have guessed though with him letting her read his copy of American Psycho. I mean. I think that's a red flag. Though it's Sarah's thought processes surrounding Nick that I so relate to, how she wants Greta to want him and never have him. How Nick had become a talisman that recalibrated her life. Haven't you gotten to class early or stayed late just to see the object of your affection? And then, when reality reasserts itself and it's not the object of your affection that you miss but the fantasies as much as if you had had a relationship. What you ascribe to said crush versus what they really are. The scales fall from your eyes and you see the truth. But for Sarah truth is hard. It's not just that she's an unreliable narrator because she wants to deceive, she's an unreliable narrator because her brain chemistry makes her so. The meds that keep her functional also take away something from her. It's a balancing act to find the real her, the her she wants to be, and what her meds will let her be. And it's the meds actually that I find the most unrealistic sticking point. This takes place in the early nineties, so Sarah is about two years older than me. While I didn't go to a boarding school we did have two overnight school trips. I had allergy medicine that I had to take as we were at an outdoor education center. The meds were kept under such tight control they had to be kept in a locked drawer in a locked room and you're telling me that Sarah was allowed to monitor and keep lithium on her person!?! Yeah. I don't buy. That would have been given to her daily by the school nurse. I buy everything else, but this? Nope. It's too much of a liability for the school. Slightly more dangerous than an RA with previous form.
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