Showing posts with label Memoir. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Memoir. Show all posts

Friday, July 26, 2024

Book Review - Ta-Nehisi Coates's The Beautiful Struggle

The Beautiful Struggle by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Published by: Verso
Publication Date: 2008
Format: Paperback, 227 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy

Baltimore was collapsing around him as Ta-Nehisi grew up. But in an age of decline you can always find a way to survive and, perhaps, thrive through the cracks even during a crack epidemic. You just need to have a goal and to have the knowledge, or, as his brother Big Bill would say, the "Knowledge;" the ability to survive in a culture of violence. These were lessons his family taught Ta-Nehisi well. His father, Paul, believed strongly in education and in raising his sons to be proud black men despite a society that points to those very black men as the problem. Even though people like to think of the seventies and in particular the eighties in America as some sort of economic renaissance, America was, and still is, a deeply racist country, stigmatizing those of color, and Paul knew that this knowledge was paramount to the raising of his sons, and maybe that's why he was so hard on them, he would never let his sons forget this while at the same time making sure they were proud of their heritage. Paul Coates, Conscious Man, was a vet and member of the Black Panthers and an autodidact. He believed in the power of words and language and ran a publishing house out of his basement, the Black Classic Press (BCP), that was committed to distributing the collective stories of the African-American people. But he also had a deputy patriarch with his son Big Bill who helped Ta-Nehisi with the Knowledge. Ta-Nehisi, as seen through the eyes of his family, had an exemplary life ahead of him, if only he'd see his future clearly. Though when Ta-Nehisi starts telling his story, he doesn't yet have a goal, he doesn't have a Mecca, he just wants to survive in an uncertain world. Yet the thing about children is they eventually grow up. But having his father not just encourage but insist on intellectual curiosity paid off. Ta-Nehisi moves beyond the lures of rap culture and basketball and begins to think about what he wants to do with his life and he starts to take his education seriously. He gets into Baltimore Polytech, a magnet school that is his way out of Baltimore and to his chosen Mecca, Howard University. Though Ta-Nehisi isn't as academically gifted as his siblings and is soon kicked out of Baltimore Polytech. But he does eventually reach Howard University, after walking the halls of many a Baltimore-area school. He has struggled to survive in a hostile world and he has made it out. Thanks to his family.

I'm not a big fan of nonfiction in general so I'm not singling out memoirs as something I don't like to read. In fact they're probably the only subset of nonfiction I'm OK with, with notable exceptions. But this is never a book I would have ever picked up of my own volition. The thing is, I don't really like reading about other people's lives. I should clarify, "real" peoples lives. I love me my "fictional" friends. Even people I like and respect I won't often pick up a book about them because I often find out something that colors my opinion of them for the worse. I can't make it go away, so I'm sorry, Nelson Mandela, you gave pictures of your wife and daughters to inmates to masterbate to, and every time your name is mentioned that is the first thing I think of. As for how Bob Geldof lost his virginity... That's best never mentioned. Then there's the disconnect. You're reading about someone's life and you're thinking that for once, you've found someone on the same wavelength as you, and then they say something or do something, and you're just done with them. I will point out that this generally happens for me when reading nonfiction books by female authors when they start talking about having kids. But it's a obstacle that can not be overcome. So I didn't have many hopes going into Ta-Nehisi Coates's memoir. Though this would stand for any memoir. It was interesting. Will I ever read it again? No. Do I respect Ta-Nehisi Coates more after reading about him? Perhaps. He's at least now no longer that guy who wrote the highly lauded Black Panther run but a celebrated author in his own right. What I found most interesting was that he's only three years older than me so we have many of the same cultural touchstones. I saw some reviewers complaining that when he mentioned Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings that it brought them out of the narrative, that it felt like he was trying too hard to show his geek cred and that he was "aware" of white culture. Whereas I thought it was a good framework to help those who are completely ignorant of the privilege that they grew up in that while these cultural moments are moments of connection for all of us we need to look at what else was happening in his life. There is a part of us that is the same but there is a part of him that we can never understand because these aren't our lived in experiences. And that's what made this book for me. That chasam, that gap between white privilege and black power, I felt that he told it in a way that made me connect and that is so rare in a memoir. I might not truly be able to understand his life but I get it if that makes sense. I empathize and applaud.

Friday, December 15, 2017

King Lehr and the Gilded Age by Lady Decies

King Lehr and the Gilded Age: With Extracts from the Locked Diary of Harry Lehr by Lady Decies and Elizabeth Drexel Lehr
Published by: Applewood Books
Publication Date: 1935
Format: Paperback, 330 Pages
To Buy

"Again, memoir, inherently suspect, blah blah. But I couldn’t resist Elizabeth Lehr’s gossipy account of her double life with the man who replaced Ward McAllister as the man about town, Mrs. Astor’s right hand man. The Lehrs were in the thick of the New York and Newport social whirl—and also just about the same age as my main characters. There are also other reasons that the Lehrs interested me, but we won’t get into those just now." - Lauren Willig

The official patter:
"Harry Symes Lehr was born in 1869 into a family that was neither wealthy nor socially prominent. His natural gift for entertaining and his penchant for hobnobbing with the very rich earned him entry to the powerful circle of the New York and Newport social elite, where Harry clowned his way to a position of prominence. One of his admirers and patrons, Mrs. Stuyvesant Fish, introduced him to a young widow, Elizabeth Wharton Drexel. Elizabeth was smitten with young Harry, his elegant dress, and outrageous behavior. They were soon married. But King Lehr had a secret―he was not what he seemed. On their wedding night he cruelly dictated to his new bride the rules of their strange bedfellowship. For twenty-three years, Mrs. Lehr protected his secret and remained in a loveless and abusive marriage. After Harry’s death, Elizabeth remarried, to the Baron Decies. Lady Decies wrote down her secret story in 1938, incorporating Harry’s most intimate diaries, and told all in this scandalous tale of power, desire, and deception."

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Book Review - Paul Magrs's Welcome Home, Bernard Socks

Welcome Home, Bernard Socks by Paul Magrs
ARC Provided by the Author
Published by: Obverse Books
Publication Date: December 5th, 2015
Format: Paperback, 240 Pages
Rating: ★★★★
To Buy

"Recollection of our past together is the happiest of time travel." That is all that remains of Fester cat. Memories, the fur clinging to the chair in the beach house, and the echo of his voice in Paul's head. The grief is raw and real, but once you open your heart you realize that to shut off love from your life would be doing a disservice to the memory of the one you let in. Therefore Paul and Jeremy are hesitantly aware that perhaps there is room for a new furry face in their lives. At a quaint little charity shop that is also a pet rescue, full of the tat that Paul and Jeremy love most, from old disco records to moldering paperbacks, there's a room in the back full of cats. Paul has been looking at these cat's images online, thinking it was idle curiosity, but once at THARG realizing that it was more specific. They are there to meet a dapper tuxedoed cat named Sox. Despite much to-ing and fro-ing, Sox comes to live with them.

It's a new experience for all three of them. Paul and Jeremy have never adopted a cat, Fester having adopted them. Whereas the newly rechristened Bernard Socks has boundless energy with this new life full of rooms to explore as well as gardens and other cats not locked up! It will be an adjustment for all of them, but more than that, it will be a trial as their world quite literally collapses around them. With their cozy home now a disaster zone with a nice view of the looming storm clouds as their ceilings collapse. Yet they are able cope, to move forward, because of this new fury presence in their lives. They are literally rebuilding their lives post Fester and they have found a new companion for the journey. While Fester might not approve of them moving on so quickly, as he casts his wry gaze from a place that is in no way rainbow or bridge-like, he realizes that his boys need this new fury nucleus that is full of life and vim and vigor. Bernard Socks is there for his boys, and if he occasionally needs a little nudge in the right direction, that's why Fester's watching over them all. Ungow!

"You are my first, my last, my everything." The eternal question is how do you move on from your everything? When that little furry face is gone and it hurts to take a single breath. Most cat memoirs are about the cat that comes into these people's lives, makes everything wonderful, and then leaves his humans the better for having had him around. But this is false and the reason I usually avoid them like the plague. They don't tell the whole story. Despite all these narrative contrivances, life goes on and not in a golden glow of remembered love. Life doesn't stop when you lose the one you love. Cats didn't stop with the death of Fester or with the death of my Spotty. When I lost my kitty I was shocked that the world kept turning while I was stuck standing still, there in the backyard under the stars, unable to move forward.

I still have trouble with the moving forward, which makes me applause the braveness of this book. The Story of Fester Cat was about the joy Fester brought Paul and Jeremy. How despite his death, his time with them made them a family as well as raising the book above the standard fare with Fester's unique voice. While this first volume is bittersweet, knowing that Fester's time on earth is no more, this second volume is more about life. Life is messy and it's hard to pick back up the pieces. Yet Paul and Jeremy do. Paul exorcises his grief by writing Fester's story, though the coming year will try them more than once. Welcome Home, Bernard Socks is about moving on in the wake of disaster. Finding a way to keep moving forward. The bravery of embracing change and letting love in. Being willing to let time move forward and let another furry face into your heart, while not replacing the first. This book is warts and all dealing with grief and how life wins, no matter how hard it gets, which is something we all need to be reminded of.

That is why I connect to this book so strongly. Because Paul is letting us into his life. You see his pain and his joy, you see everything and it forges a strong connection between author and reader. Ironically this is a reason I usually don't read memoirs, even if written in honor of the more elevated feline. There's a lack of connection between the writer and their audience. They have created some sort of image and are there to perpetuate that. Not to offer insight or assistance, just to glorify themselves. Well, after The Story of Fester Cat I've started to revise my stance on memoirs. I saw that they could be a reflection of ourselves. I saw they could be full of truth and love and sadness and humor. This past year I have read more memoirs and autobiographies than I ever have. While I connected to none as strongly as I have Paul's writing, I have gotten more insight into myself then I would have thought possible. I also realize that my life could be a lot worse and am grateful for what I have.

But here, now, with Paul, what I connected with most is the weird little habits that develop after you have lost your furry friend. The secretly looking at adoptable cats online and forming attachments to them based on their stories and pictures. You know it's too soon, yet you can't help downloading a few of these pictures to look at later on your desktop. You might even have a cat folder on your computer, not that there's anything wrong with that. You spin scenarios in your head, you look at the hours of shelters and think, what would it hurt to drop by? Then you are shocked by how large cats are compared to the dainty gentleman that left you too soon. Thankfully for Bernard Socks Paul's habits moved into action, while mine are still in the realm of possibilities...

If there is one flaw in this book that I could point to it is that Fester's voice is so strong that it occasionally crowds out Bernard Socks. I love the little insights into the differences of their personalities. The distinguished old gentleman versus the rollicking teenager. The "ungow" versus the "weeee-oooooo!" The fact that Fester was more of a disco lover, while Bernard Socks is all about the jazz. I'm quite convinced my Spotty was into instrumentals, though not of the loud John Williams type, more the quite Sunday afternoon miniseries type, but he loved it when you changed the lyrics to songs to be all about him. Paul is just learning about Bernard Socks, getting to know him, so aside from one little talk between the two cats, Bernard hasn't found his voice yet and it's still Fester who is talking to Paul. Don't get me wrong, I love Fester's voice, I just wonder what Bernard Socks's voice will be like when he stops racing around and settles down. We all mature into our personalities and the newest inhabitant of Paul and Jeremy's house hasn't matured yet. So in other words, I see a third book in this style in Paul's future.

It's Paul's other books that brought me to him, through his fantasy writing where his stories wrap around you like a comfy blanket as he hands you a mug of spicy tea and is there for sympathy should you need it. Because Paul's books always have a ghost of himself flitting about the pages the transition from his fantasy writing to Fester's memoirs, which stayed mostly in the realm of reality, was a pretty seamless shift. The fantastical elements were missing but not missed, and if you're not a cat person and say that Fester's voice is pretty outlandish, well, obviously these books aren't for you. Yet there was a part of me that was excited to think he might one day combine his two styles. When I read in the book's blurb that "Bernard Socks escapes and discovers a ghostly cat parade that happens every Midsummer Night’s Eve in Levenshulme" I realized that time had come. Here Paul was ready to combine his two styles into something new.  

"Deep underground in back gardens cat bones stir and start to remember." When I read these words a little frisson of excitement went across my skin. I was always the dorky cat kid who totally believed that Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats was real. I'd spend hours sitting in front of the piano with my cat on my lap trying to teach him how to play some of the songs. Because cats are magical beings that smell slightly of sulfur, and while most of their adventures are mundane, a true cat lover knows that not all of them are. And here Paul has brought to life one of those ghostly adventures, where all the cats who have left us come back to cavort on this one night every year. What it reminded me most of was the chapter "Danse Macabre" in Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book which is filled with eerie ghostly revelries. There is a melancholy frivolity to both that make them memorable. But what is most memorable is the knowledge Fester gains on his return, that cats can come back so long as someone remembers them. With this second volume ghostwritten by Fester he has guaranteed his place at the revelries for years to come. Ungow forever!

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