Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Book Review - Taylor Adams's The Last Word

The Last Word by Taylor Adams
Published by: William Morrow
Publication Date: April 25th, 2023
Format: Hardcover, 352 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

In December the Strand is deserted. Which is exactly how Emma likes it. After what happened she needed a clean break. A place to forget what came before and see if she can face what happens next. Which is a big if. The backpack by the door filled with rocks is a reminder of how it might all end. She often finds herself standing in the ocean wondering how she got there and if next time might be the point of no return. She took a job house sitting for a local, Jules, in order to escape her life and humanity. Which has worked out quite well. Only Jules has her phone number and her nearest neighbor Deek is thankfully willing to keep their relationship strictly relegated to games of hangman on white boards placed in their windows. Emma spends her days walking her beloved dog Laika and devouring bargain priced murder mysteries on her Kindle. The quality of the story doesn't even matter, she just needs it to be different from her life, her pain. Then one day Deek recommends a book, Murder Mountain by H.G. Kane. The book has an interesting conceit in that it's told through the eyes of the killer but other than that it might just be the worst book that Emma has ever read. Which leads her to write a review. A vicious one star ode to a book that should be avoided at all costs. She almost doesn't post it. It would have been better for her if she hadn't. Because the author asks her to take it down. Then demands it. She writes him an email and his response is unhinged, but also worrying. Could he know who she is? But that would be more ludicrous than the plot of his book. But what if his books aren't fiction? What if he writes from the perspective of the killer because he is a killer? Sounds in the house start to put Emma on edge. And there are odd smells too. The figure watching her sleep had to be a dream. Then Laika finds some food on the beach with fishhooks in it. Thankfully Emma gets it away from Laika without any damage. Then a masked individual appears on the doorbell camera. Jules is worried for Emma's safety and tells her she'll send her a stun gun. Emma thinks this is blowing things way out of proportion. But Emma will soon learn that nothing is being blown out of proportion. Her life is on the line. The question is, will she fight for it?

Perhaps I gave this book an extra star due to its conceit and possible consequences. The clever conceit of The Last Word, almost a reverse Misery, should make any online reviewer question what they're putting out in the world. But a clever conceit sadly isn't not enough to save it from feeling bloated. This book overstays its welcome. It would have made a great novella. Because the way successful horror is structured you usually get an initial introduction to the killer and their first victim and move on to the final girl and her story. Taylor Adams doesn't realize that Emma Carpenter isn't the final girl. She's the girl who's supposed to be murdered in the first few pages. She is the Drew Barrymore of this tale and nothing more. So trying to make her something more is painful. And speaking of Scream, this book could have done with a lot more knowing humor, a little camp. It's written so formally that a conceit that could have been camp comes across as forced. Taylor Adams is forcing us to accept the absurdity of the situation without fully embracing it himself with a few exceptions. This is painfully obvious with the parallel narration about H.G. Kane. Kane is a creepy incel. Having to read about his self-perceived "genius" is like being forced to listen to someone spouting Trumpisms. "This is the best book in the world, this book has more words than any book ever, can you believe I wrote that many words? 110,00 to be precise! I'm a creator while all Emma does is destroy and denigrate with her hurtful words, could she write that many words? No she could not." This writing style while obviously a parody of all the Trumpers out there after the initial laugh just enraged me. I don't want to spend a minute with this character let alone an entire book. Thinking on it now I'm reminded of when The Late Show with Stephen Colbert released the book Whose Boat Is This Boat?: Comments That Don't Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane composed entirely of things our previous President said. It was supposedly satire for charity, but it was painful to read such stupidity. I just can't with people like Trump and H.G. Kane. Which is why this book needed more camp, more social commentary on this horrible human. H.G. Kane doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as Michael Myers. He just needs to go away or be mercilessly sqwered. Because the balance as it exists in this book now just doesn't work. There's no one I liked other than the dog, and all the twists were so obvious. I mean like, hit my head against the wall obvious. If people couldn't get what was going on perhaps you need to go take that "man, woman, person, TV, camera" mental cognitive assessment.

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